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JasmineKay, 99 y.o.
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Date: October 16, 2022
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It's not the fear of our partners cheating, the whole idea of clubbing for married women sounds irrational; when all the fun you can have drinking and dancing with friends can be done in a safer environment.
Likewise as a guy, I don't think a married guy should go out clubbing with single guy friends either.
I've thought of that a lot, I've been trying to keep up with her but its not easy. The fact that she is older than me is also making me think that she may not be able to change in the future (which is not a bad thing, but would make us incompatible). For example, when we were all hanging out here at my place y had to leave 2 of our friends at the bus stop, so the other 3 of us got back home (me, my gf and the other girl) I knew nothing ablut how she felt at that moment, everything seemed normal. Then I went upstairs and she was putting all lf her stuff in a backpack and about to leave without even talking to me. At first I'd try to calm her down and make her explain to me what was wrong, but she'd say nothing at all. Then, after half a minute of silence I said “do you need me to drive you to your place?” and she got even worse, saying that I just wanted her to leave so I could be left alone with our friend. We spent 20 minutes talking while she (our friend) was sitting downstairs alone, then we had to bring everyone back home because of transport issues and she was actively trying to keep us away from each other, that was the part that bothered me the most, since I seemed powerless about where I could be and who I could be next to at every time.
Forgot to mention this, but our friend was going to stay over a little longer so we coul finish the final mock we were solving before the other ones had to leave.
Middle school teacher say no more. It's not for everyone
Sounds like she could be cheating and trying to put it on you. That was why I thought it was odd she didn’t care about the papers
Do you perhaps think you might be asexual?
It's over.
Have some self respect and get a lawyer and divorce.
You are worth more than to be treated like that
Men should get the vaccine too, it helps prevent certain types of cancer for them and of course can reduce transmission to other women (like it possibly happened here)
Cut your losses, and bail out amicably. Sexual incompatibility will be the ruin of that relationship. You will end resenting him or even worse, hating yourself. A few months is time enough to rpedict how things will go, and they usually wont get better.
So try making some friends maybe from work or school. Then you won’t be as dependent on him and you won’t be jealous if you goes out with his friends
oh this was a trap
what?
yeah, anyways, your wife was attracted to him, got lost in the sauce, had her giggle moment with her girlfriend, and then it was back to reality
she knows she fucked up. it’s not an emotional affair, the guy didn’t partake in anything. your wife just has a wandering eye (that she has control of, for now). you can choose to forgive her, but you have lots to talk about
you want to address these things:
did she think that was an appropriate way to act
did she think you were so stupid that lying to you about a trap would work
does she have any respect for you (ties in to question 2, because how dumb does she think you are)
would she be okay if you do anything of the sort
couldn’t even tell you how to reconcile it, you’re not as attractive as the guy was, and if you aren’t about to hit the gym now (there’s no reason to change for her since you will always be you to her)
get couples therapy, bring up the main points: she’s not outwardly expressive of her attraction to you, she’s talking to the friend who participated in the shenanigans (even if she was a voice of reason), and that you felt this wasn’t addressed properly, she thinks you’re an idiot because she’s lying about the trap. if you can’t successfully tackles those aspects, pack it up
I know, but all I meant was that this isn’t something that would help me with me being in the uk
Weird to creeps who watch incest porn or think about having sex with family members. Do you do that often?
I've shared a bed with almost all my male best friends. One of whom is super gay. Don't see how it's weird to sleep on a piece of furniture at the same time?
I don't even have a couch or chair in my room so by default my friends would be on my bed.
God damn we love a good character development. You're growing out of being his mom and he is being an insecure ass over it. All I can say is that his behavior will likely get worse and you should prepare yourself. In worst case scenario, before you confront him on his insecurities, better make sure you have separate bank account and savings of your own so you can leave his sorry ass.
If he changes, that's good, if not, you won't be trapped in his hell. It's likely also that he will gaslight you a lot (even more so) so mentally reassure yourself often.
They are 25, do you pay any attention to the things you are commenting or replying to? Yeah they are legally adults, but maturity is a process you don't have concluded at 25. Who would expect something like this? 99,99% of the posts you are reacting to are from people who are immature despite their age, but suddenly you expect a 25yo couple to behave like perfect adults? Come on.
If they are adults they should know how to communicate like adults. “Hey that hurts” “okay should I do something different?” “I just don’t enjoy that maybe we do this instead” “okay that sounds great since I on-line you and don’t want to cause you pain” why is his sad little bruised ego more valid than the physical pain she was experiencing?
Yeah, the right thing would have been if you had opened with this. Wouldn't you feel in any way concerned if your loved one suddenly told you, after years, that the thing you thought would please her and make her feel good is quite on the opposite? Yeah I guess you would be concerned, because you would start to question, why didn't they tell you earlier, maybe you would feel like a fool for not noticing yourself, some would feel played. Point is, there is reason to try to scale what's more important, pain or the realization of being “lied” to, played etc. Everything has its own value. So why would you discard his concerns? Hers and his are both valid. So don't judge the guy when you affirmed yourself that she could have told him way earlier and then they could have found an solution. She did not, but you are judging him.