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ALL GOALS MET [Multi Goal]
Date: October 30, 2022
AmateurPub
AmateurPub
ALL GOALS MET [Multi Goal]
Lol yes absolutely break up… the longer you keep seeing him the more it’s just gonna hurt when you eventually do
This is a disgusting, ignorant comment.
I do check their social medias, probabably too frequently. I check them almost daily, because I just can't get over the possibilty that I've ruined their lives. I ghosted them during exam season, and I'm scared that that might've stressed them out and caused them to fail.
I used to go therapy but it wasn't helping much so I stopped going.
I understand that. I want her to be happy and not have any problems because of me. Strictly friends or ending it is probably best.
Yeah reading your first comment i dont believe you were trying all that hot
Thank you for your response, honestly, considering normal today relationships, I thought it was great to have a friendship foundation of 10 years. I am truly in a relationship with my bestfriend, which was very valuable in my eyes. But I agree with everything else lol
Go to a lawyer. Get her on record stating that is what she is doing. What she is doing is called parental alienation, and it is great grounds to get full custody
Never do LDRs with no expiration date in sight. LDRs work if they're temporary. How long are you planning on being in LDR with him? 3 months? 3 years? 30 years? Yeah nah.
It's heartbreaking you're taking your anger out on the child. I'm grown now,, but I was in a similar situation growing up and always felt left out or belittled. It fucked me up into adulthood. You can't control your brothers actions or what he's done in the past. But you can control being the best aunt in the world and Moving past everyone making their own mistakes. Moving forward I would forgive your brother and move forward with open arms. If you really value your family you will value forgiveness. That's what matters here. The gift is secondary.
Too bad this post wasn’t written by the father or you could ask him yourself
Mine had already added blue and white to those when I met him!!
This can’t be real. Men mostly only give hoodies to their girlfriend. I don’t think any 19 year old has dated 50 people seriously enough to get a man’s sweatshirt. Maybe she bought them? Seems very fishy to me
I buzzed mine about 2.5 years ago, and I LOVE it. It's the most amazing, freeing thing I've ever done for myself. For the record, my husband loves me and gives zero fucks what my hair looks like.
If you're not ready to have sex with someone who is not a virgin, you're probably not ready to have sex at all.
Pretty much. Good analogy
You can stop paying any debt. That doesn't mean there won't be consequences.
I can totally understand why you snapped. Sometimes you can only take so much and it happens. That being said, I would block her in every direction and just pretend she doesn’t exist. I hope things are calmer for you now and she crawls back under her rock.
Have you never talked about what you’ve been watching on Netflix on a date? Wtf?
He risked his career, his livelihood, his relationship all because of a girl her probably doesn’t care about.
I’m sure most lecturers or teaching assistants face this at some point in their career. College students are legal and some of them are hot, and you will be attracted to some of them. And you can admire some of them for being smart too.
It doesn’t mean you risk everything to have sex with them.
But 19 year olds are like children, especially to people in their late 20s, let alone 30s.
And your partner started saying he didn’t want to be with you, because you were sick?
He doesn’t care about you.
Leave him with his 19 year old who I’m sure will still be appealing after her hotness cools down or she finds someone closer to her own age that is hotter than him that she cheats on your ex with.
As a speech pathologist that’s concerning if the two year old is not talking ! No, he can come over early in the morning but why does he have to spend the night? That sounds suspicious?!
I understand, it’s very hot to move on when it’s sudden and for seemingly no reason. He sounds like he has a lot going on in his life right now and snapped under pressure. If that means he’ll reach out to rekindle things or not, that’s up in the air. Him suggesting proposing and ring shopping though is kind of a glimpse into where his head was at either out of stress or societal pressure but you were right for telling him to hold off since you were only 7 months in. It sounds like he has a lot to sort out honestly, hopefully he’s taking that time off to sort it out. But like I said just take it with grace and try to keep living your life, if he does come back to you though I’d be wary about moving too fast to rekindle things because people do break up for a reason even if that reason isn’t always apparent.
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Yeah it’s because he’s gotten into his head about his inadequacies as a man and thinks he shouldn’t get help from even you to find work.
However, by creating this self limiting belief, he’s more miserable, depressed, and twiddling his thumbs all day on Reddit.
He needs to update his resume, polish up his cover letter. Do this even if you don’t apply for work. That’s half the battle tbh. Because when you are ready, you have everything set to go for job applications.
However, since he was in burnout mode once he quit, it’s why he’s not motivated to apply either. It’s definitely a mental health issue he has going on and it could be why he had ZERO motivation to do anything right now.
Op, has he thought about therapy or some form of therapy?
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Its still alot to process, i have alot of questions to understand the extent of it all and depending on the answers it’ll really determine if i need to end things as they are.
I need to know that he is taking steps to get help for himself, or at least will if not then; now for the future.
Hence the “yet” part.
Yeah and she’s the one that feels used and lied to lmao
It’s not one specific person, she goes out and hooks up with randos, I also pointed this out to my partner , That she could be passing an STD onto her bf, but apparently still I’ve to mind my own business.
Exactly! I have been to plenty of work dinners and there is no need for 8 + calls to a co worker about it ever. She answered with her ditzy flirt giggles which was his cue to cut her off. He did all this as a form of gaslighting gf and he succeeded as she is now here feeling humiliated, crazy, and confused.
A 30 year old in general is probably going to be looking at much more suitable long-term arrangements which a 22 year old won't be able to ffer. As a 29 yo Male I personally won't go 5 years lower, but when I was your age I hooked up with women who were in their late 30's and 40's, basically if they pick you it's on the rare occasion that they want to get laid, not a relationship.
Ewwwww even as a fantasy, typing this out is just disgusting.
My advice, tell your dad to respect your sisters decision. He disowned her on what amounts to decisions she made about her own life and quite frankly anyone who's willing to disown their own daughter over something like that doesn't even deserve forgiveness or to get their dying wish.
He honestly sounds like a total narcist. Is everything always about him? Honestly OP what would you do in her shoes? I wouldn't ever speak to him again, he cashed that check the moment he made it perfectly clear that what's more important to him is himself rather than his own family.
I couldn't even imagine being such a terrible human being that I'd disown my own daughter over something so irrelevant to my own life. My daughter's profession is her own business and as long as she's happy I love her no matter what. That's how a father is supposed to feel.
I'd maybe understand being upset about it if she was just throwing her life away, but your sister sounds like a bawse. She goes and starts her own business, why couldn't he be proud of that instead? Operating your own business in lieu of continuing your career takes a lot of guys, and operating a business takes a lot of hot work.
No offense but anyone willing to just throw away their relationship with their daughter over something like that is an awful human being. I get that he's your father and you love him but he really made his own bed here.
Sounds like you're considered the “chronic, not to heal and not interested to get healed”-case by your docs…
Ah a deep brain stem stimulator? Have read about it, but didn't know it works for ocd, interesting, must read into it. Yeah, brain surgery is scary as fuck…I once was at the decision too, but didn't work in my case, as I was too stable…
I think you need a new doc who looks through your papertrail with fresh eyes and new knowledge. And a good behavioural therapist who can give you a few “tools” to better cope with your OCD.
But I'm out for tonight, should have slept an hour ago 😉
Good night and hopefully you don't get bitten by “Corinna”
He has to stay sober for himself, not you, if he has any chance at successfully staying sober. His sobriety is his responsibility. Go ahead and break up. What he does after that is on him.
He’s already changed you to the point of isolating you from your friends.
Choose yourself. He has his own journey but you’re not responsible for that and you already are wise enough to see.
If you don't want to be in a relationship with someone who is bi, then don't be. Don't make this about her, this is about your reaction to unexpected news. If being with someone who is bi, isn't for you, end it, but for God's sake take responsibility for your feelings and any decisions that arise from them.
Now is the time, you sound ready, be brave, put yourself first.
Agree with her to pretend that you two broke up as a couple, but remain friends. And tell her not to make waves until she stops being financially dependent on them.
I don’t think your heart is in it.
She’s been going since then, but tonight she cried while telling me she hasn’t made any progress and she doesn’t think this therapist is right for her.
It can happen, sometimes the therapist is not the right one. Search for one with a cognitive behavioral aproach.
She sounds like she's easily upset.
People are amazing. So many of them says go to the event but don't sleep with him if you are not interested. How about using some common sense? He is clearly asking for a date. If you are interested go with the flow. If you are not interested just politely decline the offer and don't give him false hope just because you want the opportunity to meet people in the industry. Leading him is an asshole move.
No, but you would have to learn HER native language in order to actually meet in the middle. And all she wants is to be able to text it in your native language. Why would she go through the stress and complexity and exert all the mental energy that goes into not only communicating while upset, but while doing it in a language that she doesn’t think in, when you’re doing nothing that’s considerate of her? Her whole existence is already being poured into her body building your child cell by cell, and you can’t let her text her thoughts in the translation into your native language? You need her to do that translation in real time, after doing something you already knew would upset her?
Just an FYI, one of the biggest hurdles in couples who have kids divorcing that they can’t get past is the resentment a lot of women hold from a time period during their pregnancy, birth, or in the two years following where they felt like when they were at their most vulnerable, their partner showed her that she couldn’t trust them to prioritize her needs or protect her interests. So you may want to stop being intentionally dense on this, and start fixing this. This is a time period you won’t get back. She will never need you as much as she does right now. And therefore if you don’t treat it with the delicacy it deserves, she will never really forget how you treated her when she was most in need of your protection. So if I were you, I’d put my pride aside and step up and start acting like she didn’t make a mistake in the partner she chose for this part of her life…
Honestly, this will be a CONSTANT thing in the relationship. If she sets boundaries about that, there will be other boundaries from her family that she will have to set. IF she sets them. But the thing is, culturally, there's a big gap here. If all of a sudden she drops it, don't expect, when y'all are married, for her not to bring it up again.
There might be a real possibility that you will be beholden to her families whims for the rest of y'all's lives. Hopefully not, but family ties are the most important in the culture.
Also, the way she's acting right now is not conducive to a healthy relationship. She didn't get her way, so now she's treating you differently. If she usually gets her way, and you haven't seen her when she doesn't get her way a bunch, then you might not know how she acts in those situations.
Congrats on the raise 🙂 Good luck.
What a moronic thing to say. Purposefully ignoring what may drive someone to take action against what in the US is essentially an organized gang with impunity is ignoring what may be an easy solution to stop said senseless violence.
I can understand your girlfriend’s reluctance to give up the city lifestyle. I lived in cities for over a decade then decided to buy a house in the suburbs, even closer to the downtown than you’re describing in your situation, and I hate it. I hate driving everywhere. I hate not having sidewalks when i walk my dog. I don’t even care that i have a yard. It’s been five years and I’ve finally built up enough equity to sell. There’s not much available to purchase right now where I want to be so I’m likely going to rent for a bit if I end up selling my house quickly. The difference in my lifestyle and day to day happiness is huge
Not really! This side only comes out with his family and me. Hes a hot introvert so doesn’t share much with friends and colleagues
What about this is very controlling?
Contact a lawyer.
Also, let your friends know that that guy is a liar and he has been recording conversations and making threats. They need to be aware so they can protect themselves from him.
If the house was yours before marriage that’s fine but most places split everything during the marriage at 50/50, despite who paid for it
She's looking for reasons to abuse him more.
I would say at least a couple times a month. But this is also an issue with phone calls. She’s annoyed when she asks to call him last minute at like 9pm on a Friday and we have plans with friends or something.
As others have said, this is technically rape. I understand how you might be unsure whether you indicated consent after she persisted, but that is really not the issue here.
In terms of how you should handle it, I would text her and very gently say, “Hey… you know how you sat on my [dick/whatever term you use] the other night. Did you see that I had the condom in my hand before you did that? Just wondering lol.” If she says she didn’t, then say, “Oh, I thought you would have realised that’s what I was trying to do, put a condom on. You know I only want to have protected sex, right?”
Phrase it so it looks like you’re just clarifying that you only want to use condoms. But also keep those messages and discuss it with a doctor (and potentially a sexual assault counsellor) and decide what you want to do with this evidence.
Whatever you do, don’t accuse her of rape, and don’t indicate that you felt violated until you’ve got some sort of admission (in text) about what actually happened. You need that evidence to back you up in whatever you decide to do about it.
OP he's not coming back. Just put a lock of his hair in a zippy bag and move on.
Seriously though you're incompatible. You deserve better than a partner who looks down on you.
Personally, I'd love to have an orgasm from a regular massage. A guy usually has to go to a certain type of massage parlor for that though.
That's why you don't marry men who are old enough to be your own father if you want kids.
Find someone who's on the same page and who won't be pushing 70 when the kid's in highschool.
That doesn't justify tracking a person's movements. It's still stalking.
He's her bf. He doesn't own her. She's not a dog.
Yeah i get that, but she isnt really in any way tied down by force. I have many times brought up that she should try to spend more time with her friends and family, but she have told me that she didn’t really enjoy it that much and would rather be with me.
Its kinda the same case for me, because i have almost every time chosen her over my own friends
I have never heard a more ridiculous excuse for behavior in my life. it’s time to let that boy go and move on. Don’t ever let any man treat you like this.
Why is it 100% up to you to regulate HIS emotions?
In theory his lack of emotional intelligence and care could be worked on. If he wanted to. But that has to be a him decision. Not a y'all or you decision and since he hasn't worked on it yet or even attempted to I think you should really examine what you need in a relationship to be happy. Because you don't sound happy. And he sounds like your average asshole who doesn't love or respect his partner.
That’s not how HPV works. It’s just like herpes. They can lie dormant for years and your outbreak does not necessarily mean you got it from your partner. 50/50 chance of it being a straight line or a coincidence.
Also, i was replying directly to the man hater above that said he got it BEFORE they started dating. They both had an EQUAL chance of getting it BEFORE they started dating. Why blame only him in the VERY SPECIFIC scenario i responded to?
You should let her go if she wants to go. She is unhappy. She is sitting in an apartment with your friend who ignores her. You work the whole day and the little freetime goes to your friend. You say yourself that you want to say there for several paychecks, so a few months. You rushed this relationship as if you are a teenager. You didn’t even knew this woman and lived with her. Was this a saviour thing? But you just hurt her right now. Even if it is her isdue, the situation makes her crazy and you can't change the situation. You don't want to let her go for selfish reason, but actually you also don't spend time with her. Let her go. You can still stay in contact and if you have a steady life again, you can ask her to try again. But this know…
And that you also don't see how it feels that your friend totally ignores her, never ask her for the favor, just you, even such small things and as soon as you come home, you go to your friend. And you say that you pay for staying there, so why pay with “favors” for your stay and lose the little time? You also wrote your daily plan and there was no time for your gf?
I can read too
He’s concerned that they won’t have his name, they’ll have hers… but he could CHANGE HIS NAME. Then they’d all have the same name.
Girl what you still fighting eveyone ? this screams “ I’m not jealous but I’m sure he will choose me over her ??♀️” ?