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Date: October 24, 2022
Don't make this a big deal. You were unable to help him when he absolutely needed help. What really would you say to him about this?
It makes you seem very insecure
Note that I did not say “whatever they want” with no qualifiers. I said “if it’s not hurting anyone else.” Telling a woman that she’s not feminist if she chooses financial dependence to a man for herself is shitty and wrong. The ENTIRE FUCKING POINT is that we should get to choose our own destiny. That includes the freedom to make decisions that other people perceive as “bad.”
If you change who you are and you will have your soul crushed. Plus a Tiger doesn’t change its stripes. Anything you do will be temporary and fake and will not last.
It's better left alone.
I imagine she has substantially recovered from the ego blow by now.
Contacting an ex after a year suggests that maybe you might want to get back toether, even if that's not true. So just don't even go there.
Yeah, she’s trying to make the tattoo that was for you and your journey a tattoo for her. I’d tell her in no uncertain terms that you know exactly what she’s doing and if she doesn’t drop it now and forever, you’ll walk out of the wedding if she dares try to play it. You don’t care how much work has gone into the wedding, a wedding is for a marriage not a party, and any marriage that starts by disrespecting not only your boundaries but also your past isn’t one you will ever want to be a part of.
Lmao, glad I don't live monogamous anymore.
I'm sorry that this isn't very helpful, but in what world would you ever want your partner to be jealous?
The way to solve this is for you to get therapy and explore where your feelings of insecurity come from. Why is your bond to him wholly dependeant on the exclusivity of sex, do you have nothing else in common?
There's a little snippet of this that makes me think something a bit bigger is going on – “it's the fact I always had to initiate sex and intimacy with him, tried to understand when he said he was too anxious or depressed'
Do you get the emotional support and love you need from this person in general?
You will find another. Each love is different, but just as wonderful. The first one is hardest because even though you’ve heard all about it, there’s nothing quite like experiencing heartbreak… that’s why there are so many songs and poems and media tropes about it.
Don’t talk to her even if she’s trying to be nice again, the hurt won’t go away until you move on. Don’t talk about her, try not to think about her, get rid of any stuff she left, and look forward even if there’s nothing there.
Just like when you’re physically hurt, it’s going to suck for a while. But it will heal eventually. You’ll be okay again someday.