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SQUIRTT!!!! [884 tokens remaining]
Date: October 12, 2022
AmateurPub
AmateurPub
SQUIRTT!!!! [884 tokens remaining]
she wears gold, I am sure.
I don't know anything in particular about rough sex, but I do think its an advanced consent sort of deal, where you need to talk and agree about it beforehand. I think its going to take some time if you want to rebuild, and be more careful going forward, but its also entirely possible he just isn't compatible if this is something you need.
There is a lot of mental illness on my Mom's side of the family. Depression and anxiety are just pretty much a given, across the board, and there are a number of people with schizophrenia, and other issues I have not specifically talked about diagnoses for. My mother is the most generous person you could ever meet. She welcomes everyone, feeds everyone, no one is a stranger, etc. But with regard to her family, she has had to set a lot of boundaries for her mental health. She had to kick someone out once, and has had to refuse to house her sicker siblings a couple of times. My aunt on her side is the same way, and while she loves her brothers and is happy to help them with money, have the holidays with them, go out to dinner with them, etc., she can't have them in her house.
There is a mental load associated with having someone who is significantly mentally ill around 24/7. It's there when you walk into your home never knowing what to expect. It's there when you come home anxious about whether they sold something of yours, or in a manic fit took a piece of expensive furniture and painted it with cheap, awful paint. It's there when you have to walk on eggshells so as to not trigger a rant about a subject which should be innocuous. It's there in never being able to have time with your partner alone, or worrying about what they might say in front of your kids. It's there in that you often have to curtail your social life to accommodate their needs. And then you also never know if drugs are involved, and you're at legal risk if they come in.
I think it's wonderful you want to help your sister, and can handle the mental load of having her crash with you. I think it's understandable you're upset. But it's also understandable that he can't handle it, and does not want to. People have a right to set boundaries to protect their own mental health, even if that means they take a step back from the people who want and depend on their help. He's not wrong or evil to tell you this is what he needs – it may be that your lives need to go in different directions because his emotional needs are not compatible with your family relationships.
I think it's very telling that you've sort of skipped talking about what her behaviors are when she crashes with you. That is probably the most important piece of information you could give us regarding this situation, to determine whether he's being reasonable or not, and you just skipped it. Unstable and manic behavior can be chaos in a household. Keeping people up late, monopolizing their time and space, making a mess, etc. She might be making inappropriate comments to or about him, or have a habit of lying which makes him feel his reputation and relationships aren't safe if he giver her an opportunity to lie about him. For you to not describe it at all, I am going to assume, the worst.
You should not have offered up such a large sum of money if you could not recoup the losses on your own. Everything else aside, this is the consequences of your actions. You made it her money too.
It is possible to remain friends. But there is likely to be way too much “memory of the past” that seeps out in undesirable ways.
You can’t trust him, that’s the reality. He used trickle truth, and who knows if that’s even the full story. You said you’re on a break? Can you clarify? Like a break where you’re both still exclusive but taking time to reevaluate or a break where you’re technically broken up but trying to work it out because the context matters, and unless exclusivity is talked about and agreed upon by both people.. it does change things.
First of all, it sounds like you are aware of your mistakes and are trying to make amends. That's a good first step.
It seems like your boyfriend is having trouble getting over your mistakes because of trust issues. It sounds like he doesn't trust you to be honest and that's causing him a lot of pain.
One thing you can do to help is to be honest and open with him. Make sure he knows that you are telling him the truth and that you are sorry for your mistakes. You can also try to be more understanding and empathetic towards his feelings. Show him that you care and that you are there for him.
If that doesn't help, you may need to seek professional help. A therapist or counselor may be able to help you both work through this issue.
Ultimately, it sounds like your boyfriend is having a nude time dealing with the pain your mistakes have caused him and it's going to take time for him to heal and trust you again. Be patient and don't give up. You can do this. Good luck.
If you can't live in this situation then thats fair and understandable, but after 15 years I can understand his attachment to the dog, as a big dog he probably doesn't really have that much time left and if his mobility is that much of an issue then it will likely come to a head soon regarding his health.
With his age he is probably also facing come cognative issues and if they get too much it may be necessary to put him down if he becomes more aggressive.
You may have to consider moving out for a time if you can't live! with him in the house. I would put a boundry in place that if he attacks any other dogs/a person he has to put immediately put down.
We have a 10yr old sheppard who has seisures and some mobility issues, meds are working but if he suddenly declines we will absolutely not keep him alive in a poor quality of life.
good luck
As long as you don’t cheat on her with her sibling you’re good.
Are you close with them though? Because their behavior is just so obviously racist.
It's not a cultural thing to say someone's name correctly (or as best you can, like actually making a sincere effort)! It's just the absolute bare minimum in a respectful conversation with like…any person? If I literally just met someone and read their name off something incorrectly, I'd try and correct myself.
And this is with you, who they supposedly like. I think you know they would be worse to your family and are also probably a LOT worse to POC that they aren't as close to.
Your boyfriend is spineless, so it's not just that his family is a problem. Yes, you can stand up to them, but you're not really solving the entire problem, even if that goes well. Ngl, I'm doubtful it will.
I’m sorry, OP. There is no coming back from this. It sounds like you pushed your ex to his breaking point and now what’s done is done.
Focus on yourself. Understand why you have jealousy issues and overcome them for your future relationships. With time you’ll heal.
I feel like she get offended? I guess I’ll might just have to take that risk, but I know she’ll be like “ oh you’d rather take the bus then be in a car with me???”
Maybe you should tell her. She sees him as a brother so the way she behaves with him is with affection on a friendly term but your husband might see this as something else.
GREAT advice! Thank you!
No. His body is not the one that will have to go through extreme, often irreversible, changes and then go through likely the most painful experience of his life (birth). He’s not the one who will have to recover from childbirth or a C-section while being judged by everyone for whatever decision he made in regard to the child’s life : “you’re a single mom, poor child will grow up all messed up without a father”, “how could you give your baby up for adoption?” , “why would you not want to be in your child’s life, you’re their mother?”,
If a man was the one getting pregnant, a woman would have no say on his decision to get an abortion. That’s just the way it is or should be. No, a woman shouldn’t hVe to be a incubation vessel for anyone else if she doesn’t want to be.
I have relatively dry skin and hair, and find that showering every second day is best for the health of my skin and hair. I generally am not a sweaty person — so, I only shower daily If I’ve gone to the gym. Otherwise it’s simply just not necessary for me and harmful to my skin and hair.
OP please please PLEASE listen to what everyone is telling you, for your sake. What he did was so incredibly degrading and abusive. You do not deserve to be treated like this, you are worth so much more – to yourself and to everyone else in your life. Hell, you mean more to US than to this creature you call a bf, because he doesn’t care about you. Can you not see that? You KNOW you don’t treat the person you love this way. You don’t treat anyone this way. This will escalate, it’s a tale as old as time. This was over a throw pillow. A pillow! What will be next? What will it be that makes him put his hands on you? Because he will.
Please get yourself out and get yourself safe. For the love of god, please seek help whether that’s through friends or family. Imagine having a daughter one day and she comes to you with a similar problem. Her partner just spat at her because she didn’t wash one of his pillows. What would you do? What would you say?
His apologies don’t mean shit. If they did he would seek help and never actually do it again. He is abhorrent and he will only get worse and more dangerous. Please, leave x
You young people and your smoke signals. All I need is my loud and obnoxious mating dance and call
Sounds like she didn't expect her “stay friends” to be respected, was surprised by it, and was hoping to be pursued instead. That looks like attention seeking, which would for me be a red flag.
While it may be a hot lesson for her that words can have consequences, I wouldn't feel bad about it; it was she who rejected you, not the other way around.
Do you think Dee has appointed herself MoH so she can one-up Melody and/or make her feel like she can't be a part of your wedding? And if the answer is yes, then what do you think that tells you about Dee that she would use your wedding day to settle a score and keep grinding an axe?
Nip this in the bud right now and tell Dee that while you appreciate her offer to be your MoH, you'll be assigning her a different role/want her to relax and be a guest rather than rushing about helping you. If you think that she'll try to push back then have your fiance with you when you tell her. If she pushes the issue when your fiance isn't there then you can buy yourself breathing space by telling her that you are making decisions jointly with your fiance and will have to run it by him (and then actually do that!). And if she keeps pushing? Then it's time to ask yourself why you are friends with someone who had zero respect for your boundaries and your wedding.
He went on a lunch date with an ex. And didn’t tell you until after. It’s a major boundary violation.
She was invited, she just didn't go.
For what started it:
what actually started it was that my girlfriend thought my mom was talking shit about her. My mom was talking about something completely different, but that completely tarnished any future relationship of theirs because after that incident, my mom did not like my girlfriend, vice versa.
I don't care whether or not her parents like me, as long as their good with my son that's what I care about. I don't engage in any type of arguments with them. It's much more smooth sailing that way.
Hey…will you believe me if I told you that asked twice health professionals how was the process to meet an OBGYN (as a woman in her 20's) and both of them were like, uhh what for ? The other one even laughed.
They were both women.
What's the problem with having a few beers?
There's nothing wrong with having a few beers and Netflix…she cannot possibly be mad over that
Yeah, I quit drinking a long time ago on it. It does completely change you you are. In the better for the person who stops but if you’re used to having alcohol is part of the relationship, it may really drastically change the dynamic. You could just support him and see what happens after period of time. See if you find another way to connect or if he just becomes boring to you. Because when you drink you think you’re more interesting than you are I did think I was more interesting. And when I quit, and I went out with my friends and drank, I realized how it really looked. But there are other things people are interested in then just alcohol, and I would try to connect with those levels.
Yeah, I quit drinking a long time ago on it. It does completely change you you are. In the better for the person who stops but if you’re used to having alcohol is part of the relationship, it may really drastically change the dynamic. You could just support him and see what happens after period of time. See if you find another way to connect or if he just becomes boring to you. Because when you drink you think you’re more interesting than you are I did think I was more interesting. And when I quit, and I went out with my friends and drank, I realized how it really looked. But there are other things people are interested in then just alcohol, and I would try to connect with those levels.