Just sending you a big hug – you are still the successful competent & confident woman you were, you just can’t see it easily because of your husband’s lies & attacks.
You are living with someone who is continuously emotionally abusing you. Seems like he is pretty insecure himself to be picking on you so much.
In another post you mentioned he has family in another country, could cultural norms/expectations be any part of the issue, either with his work or his family?
It is terrible to have such deep trust in someone and be wounded where it hurts most already. As for now it feels too violent for me to digest it. I will eventually, I will need to find the strength to speak of it to someone else because she was the first I opened up to about it..
“Do what you wish BIL but this is our day not yours. We plan to hire security to ensure our wedding guest stick to the code so if you want to show up in a clown suit and make an ass of yourself you are more than welcome but understand you won’t get in the venue. You won’t ruin our wedding.”
You aren’t romantically compatible. She has been very up front and is only interested in a platonic friendship. You need to decide if you can be satisfied with that. If you can’t be happy with friendship then you need to walk away.
Hes a bully. I know bc I was bullied for yrs & this is what they did to try to get me to hit them first so they would be justified in doing so in their minds.
Am I the one who needs to better control their emotions?
No.
anxiety and I hit his arm and scream at him. He then goes off about how I yelled and hit him and he didn’t do anything wrong.
Then u should point out exactly what he did. Hes instigating. Id suggest u get in therapy if possible. Personally, I wouldnt put up with it.
He has feelings for you. It's selfish to use the fact that someone has feelings for you to get your rocks off, when you don't reciprocate those feelings and all its going to do is give them false hope and keep them from moving on from you.
Yeah, it's tough but you have to find a way to deal with loss in a healthy way, otherwise you'll never be able to roll the dice on anyone.
Just sending you a big hug – you are still the successful competent & confident woman you were, you just can’t see it easily because of your husband’s lies & attacks.
You are living with someone who is continuously emotionally abusing you. Seems like he is pretty insecure himself to be picking on you so much.
In another post you mentioned he has family in another country, could cultural norms/expectations be any part of the issue, either with his work or his family?
It is terrible to have such deep trust in someone and be wounded where it hurts most already. As for now it feels too violent for me to digest it. I will eventually, I will need to find the strength to speak of it to someone else because she was the first I opened up to about it..
“Do what you wish BIL but this is our day not yours. We plan to hire security to ensure our wedding guest stick to the code so if you want to show up in a clown suit and make an ass of yourself you are more than welcome but understand you won’t get in the venue. You won’t ruin our wedding.”
You aren’t romantically compatible. She has been very up front and is only interested in a platonic friendship. You need to decide if you can be satisfied with that. If you can’t be happy with friendship then you need to walk away.
I’d think about the pros and cons of it. Then decide.
But if you go for it then make sure she’s on some type of birth control AND you always use condoms.
Hes a bully. I know bc I was bullied for yrs & this is what they did to try to get me to hit them first so they would be justified in doing so in their minds.
Am I the one who needs to better control their emotions?
No.
anxiety and I hit his arm and scream at him. He then goes off about how I yelled and hit him and he didn’t do anything wrong.
Then u should point out exactly what he did. Hes instigating. Id suggest u get in therapy if possible. Personally, I wouldnt put up with it.
Should I agree to it for the sake of not losing the relationship?
Wtf is the point of being in a relationship with her if she is fucking other dudes?
Just walk away man, it's over. Have some self respect.
He has feelings for you. It's selfish to use the fact that someone has feelings for you to get your rocks off, when you don't reciprocate those feelings and all its going to do is give them false hope and keep them from moving on from you.
Your real issue here is trust.
You don’t trust him.
Do you want to go forward in your life with this person?