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indiraxmoon Public Chat Channel
Date: November 11, 2022
AmateurPub
AmateurPub
indiraxmoon Public Chat Channel
I don’t know who she is, he hasn’t told me and honestly I’m too scared to push for her name ?
Welcome to dating in adulthood. Communication is key. She doesn’t sound ready to communicate her wants and needs in an adult way.
Oh well. Moving on.
Plenty of more relationships ahead of you. Enjoy 🙂
I enjoyed it, and I think I'm ready for it, but I'm worried of going too fast into this, or taking advantage of her, I dont want her to think I only want sex, but also I'm worried that she could feel frustrated or undesired if I take too long, and the last thing I want is to hurt her or make her feel uncomfortable. All I want is to keep having this amazing relationship with her, and I'm not sure how to proceed.
Last time I posted, I got lots of help and good advices, so please, can you help me again?
Sure: talk to her about it. =)
First off: there's no such thing as “too soon” — or, rather, there is, but it's only in hindsight. My own marriage is kind of rocky right now; my wife seems to care about everything but spending time with me, and frankly I'm not entirely sure why we're married right now, since she doesn't seem to value a damn thing I am, nor want to be anything I value. Well, we slept together on the first date. If it turns out this is the end, then we can say we moved too fast. But what if we get over this hump and — as we initially planned — stay together until one of us dies? Did we move “too fast” in that case? And is it relevant if we did?, considering how much it didn't impact anything? (The problems we are having do not stem from sex.)
Besides, what's wrong with sex? I mean, yes, there is the possibility that you only want — or that she thinks you only want — sex, but you deflect that by talking, not by not having sex. Don't look at it as though sex is this bad thing which detracts from a relationship: sex is a goal of a relationship. You're looking for someone you love, sure, and someone who loves you, sure, and someone who likes your kids and whose kids you like, and someone whom you can build a life together with… Yeah, absolutely. But you know what else you're looking for? Someone to have sex with! It's part of what defines this woman as your romantic partner. (In fact, it's arguably everything that defines her as a romantic partner!) And she's looking for it too. You don't have to feel like you're dragging her somewhere she doesn't want to go when she goes there voluntarily.
And lastly: talking is just a good habit. Every successful relationship is built on two people who just actually tell each other what they want and think and feel and need: for instance, in your case, “I want to be clear with you about my hesitations and make sure we're on the same page.” If you're not in the habit of displaying this kind of radical transparency, now would be a super good time to start. =)