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Date: November 8, 2022
Sis, I am so proud of you for standing up for yourself and dumping this guy.
I have one piece of advice considering you two work together and met at work. Go to HR. Explain what happened. You are 20, he is 27. You are an intern, he is likely in a position of power over you. You need some legal protections surrounding your position given the power imbalance – particularly since he CLEARLY views you as his property/something he has a right to vs a person with separate agency.
Those are common things that happen to people that sort of have grown up in a dysfunctional way. A lot of times they have a very hot time bonding and understanding their value so if somebody wants to treat them well, they almost like them less. You can heal from it I have I only want people around me that adore me now. You may have to experience some hardships in relationships to get to that point though.
Appreciate this, thank you. I hope that you’re in a better place now.
I would get a restraining order around her using all of these examples if you can. Also, talk to an attorney and in your state and see if you can.Civilly sue her.
So basically we had a small argument that almost led to a break up before the new year, it was about me being insensitive to her feelings during a heart to heart where I made a distasteful joke and it hurt her feelings, we made up and everything was going good again, we were being more open with each other, and then bam, so I do think that her hearing this rumour was just the definite thing that she needed to break up with me. And she did it over text.
Everyone here is saying this. What am I missing?! How often to cheaters repeat their actions?! He cheated on me with men too but says he’s straight
Why is he trying to act like a victim? He didn’t have to do what he did.
It sounds like this dude was straight up gaslighting you and manipulating you. If a guy is lying about his age, it's a red flag, my man. It's not cool that he's still harassing you and threatening suicide, that's some serious boundary crossing and disrespectful behavior. You did the right thing by ending things and it's not your responsibility to take care of him. It's totally understandable that you don't want to report it to the police, but don't hesitate to reach out to friends, family, or a therapist for support.
What the fuck? There’s no way you’re 33 years old
it's something that should atleast try to be discussed and given a chance. I think it's over the top for her to do that, and I do think they need a bit of couples therapy to figure out why wife is the way wife is.
Love
He cares about me. But not enough to stop
I'm really sorry this is the norm for you. You're not alone, but it's still wrong and it's going to take its toll on you. Please leave him to protect yourself. Seek therapy with someone who has experience with sexual trauma, because that is what you are experiencing. If you are having trouble finding someone or paying for it, check out local organizations for survivors of sexual abuse. They will take you seriously and do what they can to help.
What you can say is to remind him that you have a very sensitive sense of smell, and that he has an odor you can smell that comes from his groin area. You are concerned that there is a medical issue that perhaps is not being addressed, or he has an infection or some sort of odor producing condition that showering is not addressing. Be clear it persists after he bathes.
Yes, you discuss. This is what relationships are made of- these awkward, very hot conversations about big problems. His stink is a big problem if you are being turned off.
Having 4 young kids is definitely a reason to try. Show her your evidence and get into counseling. You don't have to go the divorce route immediately.
“I'm actually really dumb”
Don't worry… we are all idiots. some are just better at hiding it.
“what to do with my life?”
you're 18… Focus on “I have a lot of things coming towards me in the future but I feel like if i keep going i might need to forget some of my dreams”. School? Job? Mountains of men your own age that will be supportive of you and not controlling groomers?
What do you want in the future? probably a career or some goals. Put those front and foremost and that'll eat a few years no doubt. I didn't get my career until 30 and did a lot of wandering around before then so don't feel like it's too late or that you have to figure it out.
You’re kind of shit out of luck unless she secretly feels the same way, but if she did, she’d probably have mentioned it during your own wedding process.