I (22F) turned my husband (27M) off during sex. Can any guys please help??

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So I turned my husband off during sex and I’m feeling very low right now. If any men could give me their thoughts I would be so grateful❤️ Background: I am an SA victim. It happened when I was teenager. This person took my virginity and tortured me. To keep it PG it was brutal. Since it was my first interaction with sex I’ve had many issues revolving around sex. But I do everything I can to push my self out my comfort zone. I have problems being completely vulnerable during sex. For instance spreading my legs wide where my husband can see all of me. That’s just a small example. Around a year ago I got lazy on using my toolkit to overcome these challenges and our sex life was tremendously affected by it so I’ve been diving in head first. I am using every fiber of my being to become a sexy crazy girl in the bedroom.

We were having sex and I was truly letting loose. It was so hot to let go like that and not clench back up but I was doing it. I was being what he had always asked me to be and I was having a blast. We experienced things we never have before. He saw my most vulnerable parts and up close watched me orgasm. After a while it seemed like he wasn’t going to cum. So I thought I’d give him so oral to allow him to relax and feel good. It was working and he asked me to get on top. I was very tired and we had been doing crazy stuff so I looked awful I know I did. Makeup smeared everywhere tears on my face spit everywhere and hair crazy. He had gone a bit soft in the transition and mentioned it was the little bit of alcohol he had. Fair enough. I’m not the girl the pressures a guy to cum. I know there’s already enough pressure to preform and cum and all of this shit. But as I’m trying to … for lack of a better turn get it in. He tells me twice I’m a turn off. I stop and apologize and ask if there’s anything different I can do. He tells me to just get up nicely. I’m thinking maybe he realized immediately that it hurt me but he never apologized or took it back. I went to bathroom and cried because after how exposed and vulnerable I had been those words crushed me. I’m a not a sex god by any means I probably suck. But I’m willing to learn and do whatever. I came out and apologized again and said that whenever he’s ready I will do better and I will make him feel good. He just smiled and wanted to snuggle. I’m sitting there trying to fall asleep but feeling so insecure. Do y’all think he just said this because he was tired frustrated since we had been going at it for a long time?

Im going to talk to him when he wakes up but I just need to make sure im not way out of left field here.

TLDR: Tried to be the crazy adventures girl my husband wants in bed and when I couldn’t make him stay very hot or cum he told me I was a turn off.

submitted by /u/capitalwasteland334
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Date: July 22, 2023

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