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Date: October 30, 2022
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It wasn’t physical cheating, not that I know of. He was just messaging girls letting them know he’s horny for them.
Either choice would be acceptable. There is nothing wrong with turning him down. There's also nothing wrong with going on a date with him without really knowing if it's something you are fully committed too. That's why it's dating. It's the time to get to know someone, and then decide if you want to continue getting to know them. Either way, I highly recommend that you just communicate your feelings with him directly.
Yes. Otherwise your relationship is a dishonest one. Would you want to know? If you care about her tell her. She’ll eventually find out. Something will slip. All it takes is one fight between the roommate and his GF and your GF will become collateral damage.
Unfortunately where I live! in the UK they say you cannot test for Herpes unless you have symptoms or a wart appears.
They literally told me on the phone to wait for symptoms, which can sometime take years!
Find a man you can trust, life is too short to be with someone who lies all the time
This also goes for non-married men of you invite her to live! with you. Toilet seat left up? Not anymore.
Many men are raised to put the toilet seat back down after them.
I also don't get why people make such a big deal over toilet seats? Like, just put it back up or down
He love bombed and abused his power with a girl that is barely legal. He used his power and manipulation to sleep with a girl that is still in her teens.
If it was your daughter and she was this manipulated and even was drugged with someone of power, would you think he would deserve to continue his life unpunished and with power?
For obvious reasons, he’s acting insane. You’re in a world of hurt if you stay with jim
This seems the most likely situation. It is kind of predatory since this seems to be an established pattern.
You are welcome.
Don't put yourself in a position where you are helping her make excuses for not getting better.
By going around trying not to walk on eggshells or saying or doing anything that will upset her?
You are helping her stay exactly where she is.
She can have a million and one excuses for not making a change or trying to get better.
That is part of what is going on with her. She feels safe with the status quo.
She needs therapy and a physical first.
There are live! / tele-therapists at all times of the day and night. Specifically geared towards people who “don't have time for therapy.”
If she won't go to therapy?
You can go to therapy to learn how to cope with what is going on. The learns coping skills so that you can Learn how to deal with her excuses and how to start making changes that need to occur.
A change has to occur, and unless one of you starts taking that baby step to make a change? Nothing will change. And if she can't start taking that baby step and you need to start taking it for her
That's not your job as a boyfriend or friend – to allow her excuses and denial to continue.
Whatever is going on right now? It's not working for one of you. And? If it's not working for one of you, then both of you are having to have issues.
Just do it.
Do what needs to be done to make a change in your lives.
Albert Einstein supposedly said:
The definition of 'insanity' is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
It's great that he wants to change but he needs to reach out to a professional for this. I know you want to help but this is something you need a therapist or addictions counselor for. You could research on his behalf and give him a number to reach out to to give him a bit of a kick in the ass.
You do realise that it is really easy to set up an email account, and you aren’t legally required to set up your email address to be your own name, right?
Anyone could set up an email in a matter of seconds with someone’s name in there. It’s not naked. Just because I get an email from the email address “henrycavil”, doesn’t mean I got it from the Henry Cavill. So unless you have anything more concrete, this is one that you should let go for now.
this guy wife beats
This makes me feel bad for some rich people because I know this happens a lot. This instance will tell her who her true friends really were. She is still the same person she was before she received all that money, and for a true friend it would not even matter. Well, I guess it should matter how she got it and her friends should be there for her even more at this point. Imagine losing a parent and finding out your friends never really liked you for you and can't be there due to being butthurt about something being thrust upon her.
You need to put your prejudices aside and be there for her in this time. Helping her will help you too.
Why would someone be that cruel and not just leave you ask? Because some people are selfish and no good and want some one to be a stable idiot for them to come back so after their sexual excursions. Very glad to hear you will refuse to be that idiot. Rule of thumb, from now one don’t date anymore people with cheating histories or give a 2nd chance to cheaters.
It’s all fine and good wanting to online somewhere else but to give your wife an ultimatum either go with me or I’m leaving you is a shit thing to do. No conversation, no seeking advice or taking it over as a couple is disturbing. If he doesn’t think more of you than to say move w me to I’m leaving you means he really doesn’t care or love you as much.
We don’t give our spouses ultimatums unless we don’t give a shit about them. Sure an hour away is no big deal. We drive an hour just to go out & eat at restaurants because we online so far away. All my drs are at least an hour away, mall shopping if we choose is an hour, any home improvement stores are an hour away. So driving that far to see family wouldn’t be that bad. It’d be more special I think because you could make a day of visiting family etc.
But I still have issues w the ultimatum.
You're a cheater. Period. Your husband could be abusive, but you're entire post could also be seen as justification for you monkey branching to the next guy who would give you the light of day.
And if all of your friends are so supportive as you claim, you wouldn't be making this post.
I guess my problem is I don’t love her anymore. Even when I’ve said it in the last few years it always felt false. I’ve thought that therapy might be helpful but I’m worried I’m already to far gone. What I’m more trying today we is if her love for me should fulfill me enough.
And no I’ve not tried the love language quiz. Have you tried therapy or the quiz and found it useful?
My son is still in college and doesn't work there so I can't report it.
Don’t change yourself and don’t buy into the “I need to be drama or a shitty dude for girls to like me” bullshit. You’re not too nice; the relationship just didn’t work out. That happens. Someone will come around who will appreciate you.
I'm not poly myself, but I do appreciate the level of honest communication involved with this type of lifestyle. I feel that she's kind of spitting in the face of that with her poor attitude.
Her reason is, she’s still mad at dream me when she wakes up, so feels the need to let it out at real me.
I want you to know that while I agree her beliefs come from a toxic rabbit hole, people can believe in open relationships and make the choice without resentment to live! monogamously. I do not believe that humans are meant to be monogamous by nature. But I do believe that it is a choice. I have been in a successful monogamous relationship for four years because my boyfriend is not comfortable with an open relationship and I love him more than my impulses. I've never even come close to cheating because his trust is worth way more than sexual gratification. If she can continue to put you first and learn to be respectful of your beliefs and choices, then your relationship can last. But as long as she is pressuring you it will be very hot and the longer she applies that pressure the more likely she is to resent you for not giving in.
Totally. On top of you and I feeling that way, years and years of research from the world’s leading psychiatrists supports the idea that psychedelics cause people to love MORE. Love themselves more, their families, their friends, nature, humanity at large… Have you watched Fantastic Fungi on Netflix?
You've posted this before.
I agree with you on many of your points, but why does that matter?
Why does it matter if your family disagrees?
You have a difference in opinion/views. It's not a big deal.
Stop being so controlling. You're in a LDR. She doesn't need you to be there every step of the way. If you can't take that YOU decide to break up with her. You don't give HER an ultimatum. That is even more manipulative and controlling than what you're already doing. Work on yourself while single.
That is the whole point. This will 100% affect your chances with other girls and it should. That’s how consequences work and it’s what incites change. Can you honestly say you would bother to change at all if it didn’t?
nah he isn’t . good luck with this
I would suggest couples therapy
DO NOT GO TO THERAPY WITH AN ABUSER. Abusers weaponize therapy. Never go to therapy with an abuser. This is an absolute rule and does not have exceptions.
. It appears that if you want this to stop, you need to get your sex drive back. I’ll be honest. I’m sick to my stomach typing this.
Next time the thought of typing something makes you sick to your stomach, don't. This is actively harmful, god-awful advice.
Haha sure, my gf can pinch my nipples, it would be funny to me. It wouldn't be funny if she thought that it's okay to do that and I punched her for it. That's why you need to set boundaries and talk with your partner. Early in our relationship, she told a lot about her traumatizing past and told me what is taboo and what is not. This clearly didn't happen in this case.
So yeah, I don't agree with most people here making her look like a victim when she clearly told nothing to her new bf. I would get upset too if I did something that I THOUGHT was acceptable and if I got punched for it.
Good thing that OP is smart and didn't listen to most of the comments shitting on her bf, calling him abusive and manipulative from reading a little line of text lmao
THIS . literally all you need to read !
Kate is the toxic one it seems, and jealous of the fact you cut her out of your life. Her current behavior just proves that your GF gave you great advice in telling you to cut her off
Kate is the toxic one it seems, and jealous of the fact you cut her out of your life. Her current behavior just proves that your GF gave you great advice in telling you to cut her off
Kate is the toxic one it seems, and jealous of the fact you cut her out of your life. Her current behavior just proves that your GF gave you great advice in telling you to cut her off
I don’t know that counseling would help. He’s always been money motivated. I’ve tried to explain that quality time isn’t sleeping next to one another or eating dinner together (As it’s a normal task we do daily) but he thinks it is. I feel like counseling would be a waste because he refuses to listen to reason.