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Make a new account or text her from someone else’s phone. She absolutely needs to know this. Try harder.
Therapy.
Two years without sex is not within the boundaries of most people's idea of a healthy relationship.
Lol okay. Btw still wandering what you meant by IM deflecting when you still haven’t commented on how you plan to combat your hemephilia problem.
YTA you’re completely in the wrong here
Don't stay with a guy who listens to dumbass podcasts about masculinity and tries to drag you down.
Break up with him and say you deserve an adult, not a child.
This is either going to cost you the family you’re trying to make, or cost you the relationship with Amanda
I do not see another option here
You were there for Amanda and she is STILL mad.
You literally put your relationship on the line to be there, your WIFE needed you and you were not there in her most vulnerable time during her life.
I’m sure Amanda will have another wedding you will be able to attend, she sounds lovely
Wake up
So, without saying “love”, tell me what you get out of this marriage.
What tangible, emotional, specific benefit does being in this relationship provide? Love is not an answer here because it's vague and easy to hide behind. List specifically what you get out of this relationship. Specifically what makes your life better by being in this relationship.
This doesn't sound like a fulfilling relationship. Or a partnership.
You sound resentful and burnt out. Unhappy. I can't say I blame you. I wouldn't be happy either.
So, what do you get out of this marriage?
What does marriage mean to you? What do you want marriage to look like for you? In your current marriage, are you happy? If no, what would need to change in order for you to be happy? Can you realistically see your husband making those changes? If yes, what steps do you think need to be made to start seeing those changes? Therapy? If no, what do you plan on doing about that?
Where do you want to be in 5 years? What would your ideal life look like? What steps would you need to take to shape that future?
The best advice anyone can give you is not on how to make your husband view your family as his own. He isn't going to. You've been together for nearly 2 decades at this point. If he doesn't treat your family as his own by now, he isn't going to. Nothing you say or do is going to change that. The best advice you can get is to think reflectivity on your life as it is, and determine if you are happy. If you aren't, determine what changes need to be made so you can be happy. They may be little changes, they may be much bigger changes. But only you know what those changes need to be.