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I thought that it meant more to her.
OP, this doesn't mean that your marriage doesn't mean more to her. I get why you're thinking this way but please stop. You're making yourself miserable.
Look, what she did in her past is what made her the person she is today. All of that is what you fell in love with and asked her to spend the rest of your lives together and she said yes.
Stay with that.
For many people they don't realize the seriousness of marriage or even consider it to be any big deal. She may have felt that way when she was younger thus her “sugar dating” period of her life.
Here's the thing. She grew up. She chose you to settle down with and start and build a life and family together. Unless she's acting suspiciously or given you pause to wonder about her fidelity, there's nothing really here, IMO. It's her past. Her past and her experiences are what made her the person she is today. The person you fell in love with.
I get that you may be wondering about other aspects of her – it's obvious it is shocking news to you and your feelings are valid.
Put this into perspective. This is a part of her past. YOU are her now and future.
Well I see why she's your ex.
Then why is he on the loan and how did he get on the registration without a license? Why doesn't he have one at 29?
My point is you said “who knows” as if the reason isn't very evident
Because it's this subreddit and everything has to be absolutely dramatic as conceivably possible.
Is she in therapy for her intrusive thoughts?
Limb lengthening surgery is extreme and entirely cosmetic; I would never put someone I loved through so much pain, especially if it would be entirely for my benefit and cosmetic. You'd get 3 inches max out of it, and for what? Chronic pain and bone issues?
If she can't get over this psychological block, I think you'd be better off seeking someone who appreciates you for who you are. You don't have to apologize for your body; it's simply who you are. The right people would have the capacity to love you no matter what your height
Most stuff comes out. I'm always fishing candy wrappers out of the drum that my kids leave in their pockets.
Quality over quantity, is I always said.
I think that would've been pertinent to your post. I've met so many people that wait for the others to do something that they caused more issues.
I do hope he responds and if he does, I hope you have a positive outcome.
Then he should reconsider being in a relationship and definitely should not be getting married if his trauma as a result of that experience is so bad that he is exhibiting such toxic traits.
Like is he even able to acknowledge how absurd what he is saying is? This isn't even just 'I worry about other men' but right into 'I actively believe you are wanting to cheat on me' and that is a much much scarier place to be. That he thinks this is all okay and rational shows how far away from being healthy he really is.
This guy is a woodchipper and you are hopping in voluntarily. Just because you understand why he is a woodchipper doesn't make it a good idea to stick a hand in. If anything, all you can affirm from the idea this is trauma is that unless he actively tries to deal with it, which he doesn't seem to have done at all, then this will likely only get worse over time as he becomes more invested in you.
As we all know, women with two cats are totally unfuckable hags /s
Are you thinking this because you actually don’t see a future with her, or are you just scared of missing out and wondering if the grass is greener?
If you genuinely don’t see a future with this woman, please tell her kindly and break it off. If you just want to try out other women before settling down to see if you’ve missed out by not having many relationships, think long and hot about if it’s really worth throwing a great relationship away to chase after something that might end up not being as good.
Also tell the guys wife that he is a cheater.
Have you talked to her about why she’s doing it….?
Make sure she’s not muttering “bater” afterwards.
Might be a bit of an AH move but since you’re being called one anyway- talk to the fiancée and let her know the real reason he wants you there isn’t for the kids, it is because he’s still weirdly obsessed with you and can’t let you go. Ask her why else would literally no one-including the babysitter who already watches the kids- can substitute for you? Does she really want to enter into this marriage knowing you are still irreplaceable in his life? It’s the wedding today but then maybe he wants you to go along on family vacations and all that jazz. Out of respect for her and her special wedding day you cannot in good faith attend and encourage this obsession with you.
I don’t know if I believe this. I just had a kid, and have about 10 pregnant friends right now in various states around the US. We all had transvaginal USs to confirm the pregnancy after initial blood work so we would know when to schedule the rest and to get an anticipated due date. Mine was at 8 weeks. Slightly before 12 weeks you most likely have an US as part of your first trimester screen for genetic defects (Downs syndrome shows as excess fluid in an area of the neck). That’s why red states are pushing “6 week abortion bans,” because on USs that early you can see a “heart beat” (it’s not a heart beat.)
Can i ask a genuine question? Would you feel the same for a 14 year old boy who sexually assaulted a 10 year old girl? Exact same circumstance, he made the girl give him oral sex without full consent, and the 10 year old girl was still traumatized to this day. I ask because you can understandably see that male assaulters rarely get as much mercy as you are giving her.