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Date: October 16, 2022
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This comment has gone stale.
Nothing in someone's diary is anything you “should” know. And that mentality is why those things are being written. You aren't owed what she wants to keep secret.
Did you leave your journals out and invite her to read them whenever she wanted? No, because you do understand that, you just wanted different rules because you were the one with questions.
Take more time and work on yourself before dating people your own age.
If you tell her, make sure you tell her the full story, including how you knew fully he was in a relationship but still decided to fuck her man anyways. You are the furthest thing from innocent in this situation, and you are damn sure not some kind of martyr.
The onus of the blame should be put on the person in the relationship who decided to cheat and jeopardize that, but you are just as shitty. There are plenty of single and willing people in the world, and you still chose to knowingly sleep with a taken man and hurt others as collateral in the process. That speaks volumes about you. I hope self respect becomes a virtue for you moving forward.
Show me some respect
How about you go fuck yourself. Literally and figuratively. The absolute fucking nerve….
Of course she’s not. Everybody make mistakes and that doesn’t make her a bad person. Grow up
It'd be concerning 50 years ago, but nowadays, you're risking childcare for 20 years, meaning potentially $200k for a kid that might not be yours, and prooving is an easy procedure, with 0 cons.
Sounds like you trust your husband more than he trusts you. That has to be nude. Maybe it's something to discuss in couple's counseling.
go to police for sexual arrasment and you will see how he will never repeat and your partner will trust you again
This was the rule in my parents house. Their house, their rules
Dump his ass. He doesn’t care about you or you’re feelings. I absolutely implore you yourself to have a great “college experience” just use protection always and don’t accept drinks you didn’t pour.
Is this for real? I find it nude to believe that you, as a lawyer, would even consider signing this? Renegotiate.
Hey Op, how are you? Let me share my best friend story. We have been BFF for almost 30 years so much so that I was in the wedding, helped plan the wedding, godmother to their children and talk to the wife more than my BFF. If my BFF is struggling with something, his wife would say, “call your sis” or if they have a conflict, both shared with me but neither knew I already knew the story. We had a trip planned, my accommodations were solid and she was the one who suggested that we share rooms. Why is this important, I/we, respected his relationship, made her feel comfortable, established a real friendship/sisterhood, so she, now wife, is so comfortable, nothing or no one can persuade her otherwise.
I'm one of those ppl who are very much aware that male and females can be platonic friends, who respect boundaries and are able to adapt.
You may see her as a friend and is repulsed but you never know what's in someone's heart. Your GF doesn't really know your BFF, but as your BFF, IMO, after a year of dating, that wouldn't/shouldn't be the case.
As for the trip, your GF said she won't breakup over this but you already feel the tension and the trip hasn't happened yet, I seriously doubt you will recover if you go on the trip.
I'm not saying you can't/shouldn't go but your main priority should be the comfort of your partner and if your BFF is important to you, then you make sure they get to know each other. Good luck
You need to leave her alone. Quickly. Don’t stay with someone you very obviously don’t want to be with. She’s going to be upset, but don’t stay just because she’s asking you to.
Thats great to hear, best of luck to you!
So much this. The statistics of men leaving women when they have health issues are off the charts. But ya know, he wants to come home and relax.
Yawn
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I don’t need to have a crush on someone to care about them and respect them enough to give them some warning. Christ, if he decided he didn’t want to chance it with my sister then it’s not like me and him would stay in contact or ride off into the sunset. I’d never see him him again, there’s no feelings there. Sorry if that’s not drama enough for you.
Only if you leave him.
She will do it again. Something is missing in her life and that isn’t your fault or problem.
A person who can leave their spouse and children for some fling isn’t a good one.
She’s literally helping you cheat rn. Plus, if she does this with you while you’re in a relationship, how do you know she won’t do it to you five years down the road? She has no boundaries. That won’t change if you get into a relationship with her
The concern is that I want to become comfortable with my body before getting into a serious relationship. I understand it's nothing serious and honestly personally I'm not looking to settle down for a while. But I think it would still be good. His age shows alot when we talk, it's always understanding and meaningful conversations that end either him re-affirming my boundaries and supporting me while I work through My self image. I doubt he's the one in 8 billion for me but I feel it could be beneficial for me to get my first experiences from somebody with experience. Thoughts?
It’s good to hear since he called his mom and said I did it and was to blame. Of course she took his side. Not knowing he went crazy. Like I wasn’t screaming or even raising my voice. I wasn’t throwing anything. I didn’t need a gift I wasn’t upset he didn’t give me a gift it was he lied. How can we rebuild trust if just lies over that stuff.
Yes the digging at carpet is from the separation anxiety at 14 that would be almost if not borderline cruel to lock them out. Might need to look for some alternative help like another litterbox maybe in the bedroom.
Attention seeking, and childish.
Yeah, that is not a boundary, it’s an attempt to control the actions of others and really I give major side-eye to anyone who thinks it is. It’s not healthy or reasonable. What would have been a boundary is that she will not continue to be in a relationship with someone that she feels like she isn’t a priority in. That does not control others and instead is drawing a line at what she will and will not tolerate. The other person in the relationship is free to do either, it’s just that she will remove herself from the equation, just as you have said in your comment.
A lot of boyfriends/husbands aren't going to be fine with their spose spending the night away raving with friends. I understand that you are perplexed but it's not as uncommon as you might think. Most people are trained to think that bad shit happens when people are out partying, which in the rave scene very much involves alcohol and drugs. Even if you don't partake, it's likely going to be around you. It is what it is.
Your best bet is to find someone who does the same thing and goes with you or someone who is okay with it. I don't think a lot of guys in a commited relationship are going to be alright with a 6 AM return home. That's just one of those those things that you either get or you don't. If you don't agree, that's fine. But this isn't some crazy request from your partner. That being said, you're completely within your right to walk away and find a relationship more suited to your lifestyle. This is what dating is about.
The first thing I would say is that “no” is a complete sentence. If you are not comfortable with the idea, then it does not happen and the boyfriend needs to accept that.
However, you say that you are intrigued, but that you have IBS and that makes you self-concious of your own perceived cleanliness issues, and that coupled with a lack of prior experience means that relaxation is a huge barrier to the act. So I will assume that the idea of anal sex in and of itself is not the problem, but that the lack of relaxation and the cleanliness issues are what need to be addressed.
The cleanliness aspect is definitely an area that needs work, and the two suggestions I would make are
(1) cleaning with an enema – can also be a useful treatment for the IBS, but get it done by a professional, at least the first couple of times, as a poorly executed enema can cause physical and tissue trauma; and
(2) trying first on your own with a small dildo (you do not need to relax anywhere near as much, and as you are in control you can push your boundaries or take your time without external pressure). Then if you enjoy it, working your way up to something of comparable size to your boyfriend. That way you start small, have total control, and can decide if the “being intrigued” phase continues after you have some experience… after all, “try it, you might like it” can also go the other way – “try it to see whether you like it or not”.
If after trying it, you decide it is not for you then “no” is a complete sentence, and if you do want to try it with him then condoms can help with managing the clean-up afterward.
???????????????
This dude lolol
Yes, she should have been more upfront about when she started to feel that way, but maybe it's new. Maybe she's been feeling a little on the fence, and when she felt like they were sliding to a different position than they had been, she finally opened up.
The difference between the two main characters in this story is she WAS TELLING HIM. and before they got married, she wasn't trying to hurt him, she wasn't waiting until after they are married.
He however, verbally attacked her. And TRIED TO HURT HER emotionally. He didn't freak out about her not wanting kids, and how disappointed he is or try to find out where this is coming from.
He attacked her character. He deliberately tried to hurt her.
Yes, she should have been more upfront about when she started to feel that way, but maybe it's new. Maybe she's been feeling a little on the fence, and when she felt like they were sliding to a different position than they had been, she finally opened up.
The difference between the two main characters in this story is she WAS TELLING HIM. and before they got married, she wasn't trying to hurt him, she wasn't waiting until after they are married.
He however, verbally attacked her. And TRIED TO HURT HER emotionally. He didn't freak out about her not wanting kids, and how disappointed he is or try to find out where this is coming from.
He attacked her character. He deliberately tried to hurt her.
I, for my part, wouldn't want to have a partner that keeps on mocking people over things, they didn't ask to be born with tbh.
I mean, it's your decision in the end, but to me that doesn't really show a great personality – so there are other problems I'd say..
Also, what are we talking about? Could be important
Relationship is over, it's obvious he's already banging her and he wants to do it guilt free. Nobody with respect for their S/O would keep in contact with their ex's. Child custody is the only exception
Breaking up would be my go to move. I would never stay with someone who disrespected me so badly.
That’s totally wrong. You’re saying rich people don’t have “real” money because some have more?
You are right in that some people lose perspective since they always compare themselves to those above them in the income ladder, but to imply it’s all good because there are mega rich folks is strange.
If you are rich and think you aren’t because you don’t own a jet, that’s not because you don’t have “real” money, it’s because your self awareness and sense of reality are screwed up.
Apparently you do stand for cheating, he's done it twice and you are thinking about getting back with him.
I assume he still has friends who influence him, so you should assume he will still be cheating on you when opportunity arises.
He may not see a future without you…. you can see a lot of pain in your future with him.
If she's not ok with it it's cheating and she shouldn't tolerate any of it. If she said she didn't want it in her relationship no it's not tame, it's blatant disrespect.
He didn’t text her for a full week. She’s not bitching about not getting an hourly update here.
I’m kinda blown away by that too! You can literally find work from a staffing agency that makes $17/hr+ full time without a degree. $180k for school alone is insanity.
Why aren’t you both solving the problems?
What are you ‘doing wrong’ and why?
In any case, now that it's been a week I think it's totally reason to double text him. Something like, “Hey, are you still interested? Totally cool if not.”
I was with you until the part when you needed to get off. I think you may have discovered a new kink.
Jokes aside, just apologize with her and ask her what will make this better.
Done