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Hottie, ♥, 20 y.o.
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Date: October 21, 2022
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Crazy you are still into her considering the way she feels about your children
I think this person is really being too harsh on you. Baking cookies has nothing to do with why the kids decide to stay with their moms or not. They want to stay with mom cuz they get to have more fun with their cousins and big family period. (Perfectly normal desire for children to have.) it has nothing to do with you making them not feel welcomed enuf cuz clearly you are trying your very best Op. I mean baking 5 different kinds of cookies, you are going above and beyond.
What in the world is up with your responses here??? You would have never been physically abused had she not set you up with him. She has her kid around him and can possibly set him up with someone else. She should know the kind of man she is trying to ‘help’ so she can protect others around her. All you are doing is giving her the info and then letting it go. It’s not your job to convince. Just give her the info.
Couple of things:
A) I, personally, do not think it's okay to be alone, on another man's bed, drinking with them. That in and of itself is an inappropriate situation to place yourself in while in a committed relationship. Sitting or laying down, the situation screams of impropriety.
B) The moment he started asking questions about making physical contact should have been your clue that he was trying to find an excuse to make a move. Men dk not platonically initiate physical contact with a woman they've invited over to “Netflix and chill” essentially. His intent was to get laid, and he was pretty blatant about it based on what you've explained.
I would say this is willfull ignorance at best on your part. Please, think about these situations more carefully in the future, and be honest and open with your partner about what happened.
“For no other reason”
Idk man, I would really spend some time with that one because while alcohol does make people do bad things, there is usually something underlying there
You need to tell her the truth, maybe with a counselor as referee. What's your worst case scenario if you tell her? You become a single parent with one kid? If you don't tell her, you'll become a single parent with two kids.
I’m sorry, but I’m so glad your real friend showed up!
I always say, if they wanted to, they would. Meaning if they cared enough about you, they would have made an effort. I know that’s harsh, but they totally disregarded you, and that pisses me off. If it had been 1 or 2, that would be understandable, but almost all of them? They don’t deserve anymore if your energy, time or attention. Personally, I wouldn’t listen to their pathetic excuses. I would simply block them all and move on. You deserve better.
You can change your life.
Good luck.
That’s normal. I worked with an awesome team partner years ago who gave me amazing advice. I know even understand it’s 100% true after my own experiences. It is, What used to be doesn’t always have to be what is.
Love can come and go, sometimes it’s permanent and sometimes not. Give yourself enough time away (you haven’t done that yet) and you will move on and realize you’re better off without her.
I had similar experience twice actually, not a letter in the mail, a DM from anon accounts on our social media in two different relationships.
The first one happened 7-8 years ago, I was in university and a random account claimed that I was cheating. My then girlfriend was obviously pissed at me, the other person and confused af. I went in damage control mode and tried proving that I've never cheated (cuz I haven't. Ever.), gave her my phone, gave her the passwords to all my apps, Skype, Discord, FB, IG, whatever you can think off. After a solid week of her going all FBI on my shit she agreed that it must have been some enemy trying to ruin our relationship, well they succeeded. The first couple of days I was understanding, but after that, something stuck with me, call it an ego, call it trust issues, call it whatever you like, but the fact that she believed some random person and not me stayed with me until we broke later down the line.
Forward 3-4 years, same thing happened, my then girlfriend didn't react, just asked me “What's this”. I simply said, I have no idea, you can have my phone if you want, she looked at the phone for less than a minute and said “Whatever, someone is messing up I guess”, I'm pretty sure I was completely, emotionally detached from the whole event since the first time I learned that you can't prove a negative. I physically can't prove to you or anyone that I didn't cheat if I actually didn't cheat since the msgs were vague af, there was no time period, no dates, nothing, just “Your man has been cheating for the past X number of months with me, I didn't know, good luck.”
Same event two different reactions, so his reaction ain't exactly a sign without other evidence to link him to a crime.
I would suggest, lowkey talking to a lawyer just so you know what your options are and tracking his ins and outs for some time or until you feel comfortable. Of course, you can completely ignore the whole thing, but I'm a skeptical by nature so despite my experience if the same thing happened to me, you can be sure I would be on guard and checking my options. Good luck!
Then he can sleep on the couch from now on. I would record him so he can see what he's doing when he's sleeping.
Due to his admission that he has a tendency hide and specifically exclude people in his family I feel like it is very possible that this is not the first example, hence her reaction.
It’s two days she isn’t giving him attention, I told him to call her and he didn’t, wtf, I think it’s pretty clear to both of us the situation, not to her, but I can’t break her heart being so direct