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  1. Your family kinda sucks. It’s not your money. About your moms car, it’s in both your names? If so, give her a deadline to start paying again or you’re taking the car.

  2. Huh, sounds like the difference between my husband and I, I don’t have a single bruise because he is aware and doesn’t want to hurt me. Yours is having a good time doing that to you, pretend as lon as you need to, but he knows what he’s doing and he likes it. Ask if he’s willing to get taxed in the balls each time he hurts you? Bet he could be a whole lot more careful, ask him if he’s ready for it.

  3. Because he is manipulating you, in order to deflect the shame and guilt of what he did he's trying to make it about you moving on so quickly.

    He not only cheated and now that he has been given another chance he is manipulating and gaslighting you….be careful, he doesn't sound very nice or honest. I wouldn't stay with someone like him. He is also conditioning you so that the next time he cheats on you, you won't try to leave so quickly.

  4. No, that shit doesn't matter when he goes to divorce her.

    She is committing insurance fraud if OP didn't sign off on her depositing the check into her account.

    You cant just start paying insurance on someone and then cash out without their knowledge or consent

  5. I work full time as a teacher. My husband is a stay at home father, part time bartender on weekends. I spend all weekend with my daughter, we have family gatherings etc. This occasion with my friend was the first time I'd had an opportunity to relax with a friend in months. I'm going to talk to him tonight. I hate what I did and I feel like a dickhead, but I take care of my family, no matter what.

  6. I would have supported her if she made the initiative to do these things.. I guess I should have pushed her more. I guess I was afraid of pushing her away.

    I understand you didn't want to push her….but how comes you've never discussed this before getting married? For how long have you been living in the US now?

    We unfortunately have always defaulted to communicating in Japanese.

    Not unusual….but it's weird that it's been 8 years and she only took an interest in English after meeting her new live “friend”.

  7. That's a problem with your mother in law, not your kid. Your husband needs to tell her in no uncertain terms that that's unacceptable

  8. I see this yearly on reddit lmao.

    Yea a good amount of the time guys are more physically capable than women ?‍♂️ thousands of years of evolution later.

  9. Are you aware that marriage doesn't automatically lead to tax benifits???

    It can depend on the kind of job you have and also there is more than one fucking country in the world and not all of them offer tax benefits for marriage so it really is plausible that there is no incentive at all, especially caus we don't know where she is from…

  10. Hello /u/DekadexZ,

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  11. Trust your gut!

    “I figured” – did he really or he just didn't care?

    Watch for lovebombing, mirroring, being hot and cold..

  12. My parents have an age gap of 13 years. It did not work out well. They fell in love when my om was 18,.married at 19. A lot of things were lining up for them. My mom desperately wanted to leave the house as she had strict parents. She wanted to break free. My dad was a bit rebellious, just like my mom. My mom wanted a lot of kids, so she didn't mind starting early, matched what she wanted. Then she got pregnant, as planned. She was 21 and grew up in just a few months. Going to bed in time, taking her health serious, lessen her smoking. My dad however, did not. Halfway to his forties, he still was the adolescent of the two. Intelligent man, just never learned to deal with emotions.

    Also, life had been hot to my dad and he had learned some manipulation tactics to be able to deal with the world. So he sometimes manipulated my mom. He didn't do it on purpose, that's just how he thought the world worked. That that was the way to become happy, to have things go your way.

    It didn't work out. My mom had a second child, realised she had to be able to raise all the kids she got with him on her own, as he wasn't much of a help. Then she became less naive and less blind and realised she couldn't change him. She divorced him. My dad was set for an unhappy life, with his inability to deal with emotions properly. If they wouldn't have divorced, they both would have been unhappy. My mom blossomed after leaving my dad.

    My point I guess is, their lives matched up, it was all nice and fine, untill it turned out that why they matched up, was that my dad froze in his adolescent stage.

  13. With friends like that, you don't need enemies!

    Friend knew you'll get emotional reaction, she knew you'll be upset, she knew you'll be hurt, she knew you'll feel humiliated and it was all calculated in order to cut contacts with the them!

    “my friend told me not to tell them that I know because she doesn't want to be involved in the family drama” – she involved herself! It's a lie to say that she doesn't want to be involved. She doesn't want to be EXPOSED!

    Is your “friend” expecting you to smile and be friends with them? What she wants? She knows you will be pissed and stop helping them, that's her goal, that's what she wants, that's why she's telling you that. Don't say anything bad to her about the family because she'll have something against you if the drama doesn't happen.

    Would you do this to someone that you know? Put yourself into a friends shoe's and see what she did! You would only do that if you are jealous and evil person! Want to create conflict but stay on good terms with both parties.

    Be smart and understand her gaslighting “she doesn't want to be involved in the family drama”, she is trying to create family drama, she is the responsible one for the drama! She already knows there's gonna be drama! If she didn't wanna be involved, she shouldn't say anything!

    Her not being involved means she doesn't wanna feel like she betrayed a friend, she wants to be friends with everyone and enjoy the drama that she created!

    They probably said something behind your back but it wasn't that bad, I'm sure they are greatfull for what you did for them. Probably your friend was the one that started talking bad about you and was fishing for the information, making them feel good by making fun of you in a group.

    I'm sure you probably said something bad about them to your friend too, something that you shouldn't say and trust me family will know! Friend is also their friend and those people know how to get you say things that you shouldn't.

    Don't be a fool who trusts everyone because your “friend” wants you to be the one! Rather be a fool who helps people…

  14. Legitimately just ask him not to use it if it bothers you that much. I feel like until you do that it's hot to tell what other advice to give you. If you think even just asking for what you want will upset him to a degree you're this stressed out by, there's nothing we can really do to help.

  15. You need new friends as well as kicking this arsehole out of your life.

    Honey, he raped you. Please reach out to some organisations who can help you deal with this.

  16. This is perfectly put and exactly how I saw the situation as well. I am not saying OP should leave but the only therapy truly needed is for her.

  17. So based on your example, it sounds like your wife may be insecure and trying to say things to make her sound smarter than she is. You question her because what she says doesn’t make sense and then she doubles down because she doesn’t know what she’s saying either and she’s embarrassed because she’s just been called out.

    You could respond by saying, “I think you maybe confused in your terminology. Being a protagonist has nothing to do with working hot to get a promotion. Did you mean to say that he’s productive?” Or ask, “I’m having trouble following. Can you explain?”

  18. I actually haven’t thought of that, it sounds like a good idea. I might have to look into it. Thank you so much for giving me that idea

  19. Break up. Honestly, with the upbringing you've had it's unlikely you've been set up to choose good partners. Which is a skill most of us aren't equipped with at your age anyway but bouncing around carehomes won't have helped.

    A good and loving partner does not belittle you. Especially for something that is by and large out of your control. I am willing to bet he criticises other things about you too but you're used to it so it doesn't ping your red flag radar.

    You are the oldest you've ever been so you don't know how young 19 really is, I remember being the same way. And I remember how intense and all encompassing love felt when it was wrong. But you have your whole life ahead of you and you can do better.

    Healthy love is calm and easy and honestly I never would have found it without therapy. It's hot to change who we fall for without professional help. But even if you don't want to do or can't afford therapy right now, this guy is not the one.

  20. Yeah, my daughter got diagnosed recently and going through the criteria with the assessor made me question an awful lot about my own “quirks”.

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