Sort of hoping this is is a very dedicated troll, honestly. I think people this ridiculous don’t usually have the presence of mind to even ask for advice.
I got married under 25. It was such a stupid decision, it did not end well, no idea what we were thinking or why no one talked to me about it to see if I was ready.
Because you deleted the post I don't know the full context. But when I met my partner I knew what his job was and how stressful and how much it would mean it being apart from eachother for long periods of time. The thing is whenever there has been any change to our circumstances we discuss it and come to agreements where we can both be happy. His current job is not my ideal situation especially considering our original plan for him leaving the other job and what I was looking forward to was totally different. However when he got the new job we talked about different options and back up plans and he would not have taken it if I ended up still objecting because of the impact on me it has and he valued our relationship more than the money it makes that will set us up financially.
Be a safe space and tell her you care and that you're there for her. It could be a response to any kind of trauma. Obviously there's maybe a past SA but also maybe she's been treated poorly in the past and she doesn't know how to respond to being treated nicely (I'm assuming that you're a good bf). She might have been in pain but past trauma has conditioned her to not speak up.
Eh, I agree it's racist, just trying to give some thoughts for the OP to ponder. I think it's possible the “power dynamic” thing is more what the OP's boyfriend meant and just worded it badly. A bit more understandable, especially if he's experienced a lot of racism against him from white people. As I said though, I'd likely end the relationship over it, I want a life partner, not a therapy project.
I’m glad you’re aware you’re an anxious person and that you have abandonment issues; unfortunately, knowing that isn’t enough. You need to actively work to overcome those things and based on this your current attempts to cope aren’t working.
That is 100% true.
Sort of hoping this is is a very dedicated troll, honestly. I think people this ridiculous don’t usually have the presence of mind to even ask for advice.
I got married under 25. It was such a stupid decision, it did not end well, no idea what we were thinking or why no one talked to me about it to see if I was ready.
Because you deleted the post I don't know the full context. But when I met my partner I knew what his job was and how stressful and how much it would mean it being apart from eachother for long periods of time. The thing is whenever there has been any change to our circumstances we discuss it and come to agreements where we can both be happy. His current job is not my ideal situation especially considering our original plan for him leaving the other job and what I was looking forward to was totally different. However when he got the new job we talked about different options and back up plans and he would not have taken it if I ended up still objecting because of the impact on me it has and he valued our relationship more than the money it makes that will set us up financially.
I think it should be discussed if other people know about it and it can be publicized at a later date.
Be a safe space and tell her you care and that you're there for her. It could be a response to any kind of trauma. Obviously there's maybe a past SA but also maybe she's been treated poorly in the past and she doesn't know how to respond to being treated nicely (I'm assuming that you're a good bf). She might have been in pain but past trauma has conditioned her to not speak up.
It'll take a 'safe space' conversation
Give love a chance. If not, you will always wonder if he was “the one”.
Eh, I agree it's racist, just trying to give some thoughts for the OP to ponder. I think it's possible the “power dynamic” thing is more what the OP's boyfriend meant and just worded it badly. A bit more understandable, especially if he's experienced a lot of racism against him from white people. As I said though, I'd likely end the relationship over it, I want a life partner, not a therapy project.
THIS.
Oral skills, maybe…
I’m glad you’re aware you’re an anxious person and that you have abandonment issues; unfortunately, knowing that isn’t enough. You need to actively work to overcome those things and based on this your current attempts to cope aren’t working.