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For the 3rd time now, he doesn't need to be a white knight.
And he doesn't want to be and he is simply frustrated that others don't see that he is suffering and excuse his suffering. I don't know where you got this “he wants to rescue her” shit from. He simply wishes the person he loves wouldn't be a victim of abuse.
Oh right I'm a bigot for calling out bigotry. I am saying the words he's using lack empathy, the fact that he's a victim gives reason as to why he lacks empathy but it does not justify it.
I never called you a bigot stop putting words in my mouth. I simply said if you tell a victim to have simpathy for people that watched while they were abused and excused that behavior and if they don't they lack empathy is stupid. And I stand by that.
To confirm here, you are saying “irrespective of if you're a victim, you can still be an enabler, or an abuser” if so, absolutely but this is not that. someone practicing conflict avoidance, as expected from abuse victims, is not condoning that abuse.
This is absolutely that. throwing someone else under the bus to get the attention of off you to avoid conflict is still throwing someone under the bus and enabling the abusive bahaviour.
Unless you're saying by OP leaving, thus practicing conflict avoidance, is him condoning abuse.
No because OP leaving the situation is entirely different than staying near the toxic person and just watching while they abuse others so you don't get the full force yourself. Also OP is not excusing the abusers behavior, he is condemning it.
This is like a really bad read on the situation.
Yes I feel for the family and even OP does care for his girlfriend that's why I don't get your ” he lacks empathy” in the first place. But OP does not need to subject himself to abuse and him telling that he finds it heartbreaking but also frustrating that the person he loves doesn't back him up, is not him lacking empathy.
Oh I haven’t dated in over 17 years lol