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Date: November 1, 2022
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You tell her that it is disgusting and disrespectful that she wants to do it.
Tell her that while you can’t control what she does, you can control your relationship with her, and if she does this you will no longer have a relationship with her.
Tell her that with the length of time she has known him, she is acting like a sexual predator, and will be no better than a pedofile.
And of course you need to tell your friend ASAP.
*** do you have any younger siblings? And is your father still in the picture (I’m assuming divorced parents) because if so, tell your father, and get him to contact the courts, as her actions can get her custody/visitation rights of your siblings removed.
Yep, look at those sexiest double standards again.
He won’t let this go. It will keep being brought up and will eventually poison the relationship.
Break up now before you end up leaving in pain and anger.
Tell him that the older he gets the less likely he is to meet a woman who is a virgin so he’s better get used to being alone.
So in your world “feelings” and “crushes” are interchangeable?
No. In my world, feelings and crushes can be the same thing, or feelings can be much deeper than crushes.
My point is that you have omitted significant information from both of your posts and still refuse to edit in information that would drastically alter responses to your situation. I am still very lost as to why you continue to not add in information that would actually benefit you and enhance the accuracy of responses.
You posted about your wife liking a coworker and cutting him off, yet in your comments you paint a picture of her apparently being in love with him. It's not reasonable to lash out at commenters for following along with the scenario presented in your posts when for whatever reason you've presented another, quite different scenario in your comments.
If you want advice about a wife who's in love with a coworker and confessed such to him, you need to write a post about a wife who's in love with a coworker and confessed such to him. Instead, you wrote a post about a wife who had feelings for a coworker – which could fall along an entire spectrum of emotions – and took appropriate action to separate herself from said coworker.
It is not readers' fault that so many of them are confused by how unclearly you have written your posts.
Moving out would mean she wouldn’t be able to afford to live in her home.
Sure, but what's the plan for the future? It's very common for elder people nowadays to live in flatshares too….
We wouldn’t be able to save as much as well if we moved out and we’re prioritising saving for a home deposit.
Have you ever lived just on your own? Make sure you do that…. yes, lots of people still want their own house, but it's becoming more and more difficult.
At the same time, what about your mental health? This clearly isn't a great environment for you.
I don't think it's fair to make him believe that maaaayybe you'll be fine with an open relationship so he commits to it when we're talking about hypotheticals in 20 years. You have no reason to think that you'll stop believing in long-term monogamous relationship, so don't give him false hope that it could change. Floating up the idea like that is only making a much bigger problem for future you instead of dealing with it right now.
Now, I do believe that your boyfriend needs to do some soul searching to figure out why slowly settling down in a more definitive way with someone he's already been committed and faithful for nearly half a decade would “trap him” and means that “his life is over”. What's the big freak out about if it just means more of what he already has right now? (I mean, an obvious answer would be that he has internalized the stereotype that manliness is correlated to the ability to “get chicks” so keeping the illusion that he can spin on a dime and be a womanizer whenever he wants helps him reconcile this idea of masculinity and being in a long-term relationship with you. A bit of a “I can stop whenever I want” kind of mentality, if you wish. But that's armchair psychology about someone I don' t know so I'm not pretending to be right here).
In any case, if after some reflection time, he doesn't see himself in a more committed relationship, but you do, then you have to wonder if you're compatible in the long run.
I personally think that this is ridiculous. The only thing he has done is use a twitter account to like some photos and maybe send a compliment to the models. Thinking of this as cheating is basically saying that you don’t want your partner to ever acknowledge that there are other beautiful women in the world. This way of thinking is insecure to a degree that is stifling. He has not actually met up with anyone or made plans to do so nor has he began an emotional relationship live. Do you get mad at him if he sees women irl too?
You are coming on here to ask if you should blow up your relationship because your partner has acknowledged that other women are also beautiful and attractive. I think you should leave him. The poor guy shouldn’t have to have a secret twitter account to hide from his gfs insecurities. I also recommend you go see a therapist to figure out why this truly bothers you so much. It fine if you want to keep thinking of something this ridiculous as cheating but you should also be prepared for a lonely life if your requirements are this stringent.
The guys that aren’t really into the woman they are currently with, but are too lazy or chicken to break up and start over. But then they gets broken up with, and find someone they actually want….
My ex also had “left offended lesbian feminist” haircut for a few months and it just didn't look good on her AT ALL. I know it's a fucking cliché but depending on his political views, this might be like a permanent trigger to him (besides the point that your current appearence might not suit his preferences). Some haircuts are just haircuts while others are statements. I used to have a mohawk for years and felt very fine with it but the maintenance became too exhausting and so i shaved it all off (mostly i am bald now). Nowadays people are telling me that it looked awful back then… In the end all comes down to respecting each other an communicate properly
He was prioritising her before we dated. Always going out with her, attending events, taking her to the picnic etc. He wouldn't see me or talk for weeks but was always with her.
She has probably friendzoned him or does not see him romantically hence he got together with me
This is gaslighting behavior and it is emotionally abusive and frankly dangerous to your mental health to stay. He is a bad boyfriend and it will get worse. Please leave… You can text this piece of garbage and block him on everything. He didn’t deserve the opportunity to try and convince you to stay.
You're only bringing down the vibe if your goal is to maintain a chill, not particularly committed or deep relationship that's characterised by the absence of conflict rather than the presence of fairness.
Or in other words, if you have a problem or needs that aren't being met, he doesn't care to hear about them because he doesn't see you two as a team or what you want as important. I say dump and move on.
Your parents need to be sat down and brought to terms with the reality that you're an adult. My (31F) fiancé (25M) and I started dating when he was 23 and I was 29. My little brother (29) and his partner (23F) started dating when she was 21. Our parent adore both of our chosen partners and while we do get a little joking from them about our partners being that much younger, it's mostly cuz they know we won't take it seriously. I actually thought my fiance was older than he is when we first started chatting and he thought I was waaay younger.
If they won't accept that you've thought this decision out, then going NC for as long as it takes for them to come around may be necessary. Six\seven years age difference isn't a worryingly large gap at your age IMO thought I have a bias probably
What does repentance look like to you? I was wrong idk how to make it more clear. I just acknowledge I can’t change the past
Hold on, I don't think your viewing it like I am. I'm not like on him about this anymore because I've already addressed it many times. He knows how I feel but he also knows how HE feels too. He is apparently just dealing with shit, wether it be the fact hes staying with a friend to also the mental bit, but I'm not babying him at all? It's a two way relationship, and he does his part beautifully besides the 3 times a week ignoring. He always apologizes tho, and it seems like he's tired of ignoring me but just reeaally needs those breaks, like he doesn't want to but he doesn't know how to cope either
This is why he’s annoyed. Did you both choose or did you both choose? You get a “gap year” to do absolutely nothing and he has to work and be the one solely responsible for all the bills? I don’t think I’d feel much like hugging either.
Thank you, I can’t help but feel like a total crazy person for now allowing the dogs downstairs and I fear receiving a ton of judgement for that rule, but this makes me feel better. Very appreciated ❤️?
What you do is block him, and put him out of your mind. It is done. If he cannot clearly communicate his feelings within the space of three days over a fight, then it's nothing worth worrying about yourself.
Take some time to yourself and also reflect on if the fights were started by you or him, and if they were frequent, why would you want that in your life? People hardly change over the years, and especially when they are past 30. Also be cognizant of the fact that the huge age gap does make for red flags because this is usually the part of the relationship where you realise that 10+ years is a whole generation of difference for most people.
I wish you well! Take some time for yourself and Treat Yo'self 2023!
She got angry, said that I'm a selfish AH for not understanding that Jenna needed support,
So unclear here, how exactly did you not understand Jenna needed support? Was it because you didn't include her in the planned trip for just the two of you? Was it because you put on a brave face and did what was necessary to support your girlfriends decision to include her? Was it because you weren't actually grateful Jenna was included? Did you need to just shove your own needs underground completely to satisfy your girlfriend? Because it actually sounds like girlfriend is not actually all in on this relationship. Sounds a tiny bit one sided, in that she gets what she wants and gets to ignore you whenever she wants to. Sounds a tiny bit like she was actually getting exactly what she wanted, and was upset that you noticed you were getting nothing, and she was very much counting on you not noticing your own needs at all.
Thank you for saying this. I feel so alone. I sought help from a friend who has promised to be with me when I talk to him. I just don't know when that will be because I feel so exhausted.