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Date: November 20, 2022
Your actions are not equal AT ALL! You left out information that wasn't relevant because you both agreed to not have children. He changed his mind and then tried to trap you with a baby. Every time he tampered with your agreed upon contraception, you didn't consent to the sex you had. Never speak to him again. He can't be trusted. Not only would he have impregnated you against your will if he could, he could've exposed you to STIs. Go get checked out just to be safe and block him at the very least. He's scary. What else is he willing to do to get his way?
I’m going to say something incredibly unpopular here. But I am SICK of people getting mental health diagnoses from arm chair psychs on the Internet. (As in Reddit posts, etc). This has become rampant since Covid and I can’t help but wonder if it’s truly a way for many (NOT ALL) to justify being lazy.
I can empathize with depression and anxiety. I actually have a diagnosis for both and am active in my treatment/maintenance of both. I also understand you aren’t supposed to compare your experience to others. But I’m also sick of that. I have two kids and a full time career. There are days (many days) I don’t want to get out of bed. The thought of it is too much. But I have responsibilities. We are a two income household. I can’t imagine putting the burden of being the sole income on my husband because “I have depression and anxiety.” It’s bullshit.
There seems to also be an uptick with this in the stay at home mom community. Seems like with a lot of these moms never working again is the ultimate goal. No matter what stress that brings on their partner.
Your wife can’t function at a job she says, but has all the energy and dopamine to redo your basement. That’s pretty telling. She also won’t get a diagnosis. Also telling.
You can’t really blame her only though. You’ve enabled this behavior and allowed her to get to a place in your home and marriage where she doesn’t seem to have any obligations or responsibilities.
I’d say lay a boundary down and stick to it. She gets a job (even part time) or you are leaving. She’s supposed to be a partner. She isn’t.