0 views
Hello! My name is Nastya. I, ‘m new here. Let’s play together!<3, y.o.
Location:
Room subject:
To Start on-line video press there
Live Live Sex Chat rooms Hello! My name is Nastya. I, ‘m new here. Let’s play together!<3
Date: December 20, 2022
4 years and roughly 2 years it’s gotten worse. Seems like the more I communicate the worse it gets. I’m dumb for staying around I guess but she always gives me false hope.
Maybe I was not as clear as I thought I had been. My apologies. Hopefully, I can explain it better this time (I completely understand that, with so much going on and the emotional involvement it can be sometimes difficult to make sense of things: been there, done that, got the T-Shirt! 🙂 )
Anyway, back to what I was saying…
(Intermission: I just looked back over what I have responded with in this response and realize it is a LONG read. I truly hope you do read all of it and it is not too rambling or incoherent. I can tell by your post and responses that you are being genuine and this internet stranger, my wife, our son, and our puppies all want you to come out the other side of this as a stronger person and, hopefully, a stronger couple. Know your worth as a person. Know what you can and cannot tolerate and do not compromise on your boundaries. Hopefully it will make sense as you read.)
Your quote from my post about trusting the gut when there has not been any reason to question his behavior in the past…
This is something that I have personally struggled with as it was my gut going off when I was married to my ex wife–the same for my now wife when she was married to her ex-husband. We both have had enough experiences in life (me, 42M, and my wife, 46f (yes: I do love older women and my wife has aged like a fine wine)) to have plenty of reasons to doubt our gut feelings after being gaslighted as much as we both have by previous spouses and family to the point we did not trust our gut instinct. My experience was to such an extreme that it affected me to such a physical degree that I have had 2 surgeries for Crohn's Disease where, both times I had to have 2 arms' length of intestines removed–very long story, too long for here–and the same medical condition for which there is no cure but only remission. This was the ultimate outcome of ignoring my gut feeling.
My wife, who I met when we were married to our previous mistakes, initially thought I was being absurd the first couple of times my gut was telling me something, but, after each time proved to be correct that SOMETHING was amiss–while we did not know what at the time–was a huge enough issue/problem that my wife finally admitted that she knew she needed to trust my gut feeling, knowing everything that had occurred for us both with our previous marriage mistakes as we were both so relieved and comforted that, when we finally opened up to each other after our divorces, we knew that we needed to listen to our gut instinct.
To answer your last question to my response: trusting the gut of someone else really is a double edged sword, or a “crying wolf,” sort of conundrum as people who use it too much for no reason invalidate and lose the trust of those who believe them when they say that their gut is saying something is wrong. My wife has learned from experience with me in the 12 years of marriage and over 23 years of knowing each other that I do not cry wolf unless there is an actual F'ing wolf! It has definitely caused issues with her parents and family when my gut went off, but she knew to trust me and the fact that it has a 100% correct track record when I let her know it is telling me something is off.
So, what does this rambling explanation have to do with your situation? 1.) Obviously, your bf knows something you do not about his brother that has been triggered by his brother's expensive –and quite frankly RANDOM–gift to you. 2.) You do come off as very naive in your reaction to the gift, however, I also do understand not wanting to make a scene in front of the parents. 3.) YOU–yes: YOU, personally– NEED to return the gift and make it clear that, while you appreciate the gift, such an expensive gift is only appropriate coming from your BOYFRIEND and not his little brother as it stinks of little brother having a crush on you–which we all KNOW he will deny–and that is why you do need to be a bit gentle, yet firm, in making it clear that you find the gift inappropriate and cannot keep it. The only reason you did not outright refuse is due to you being put on the spot and went all “deer in the headlights.” 4.) As your boyfriend is not responding to you, if this were me (as a man), sending him an email or written letter expressing this and also completely acknowledging his feelings and recognizing that there is definitely something deeper going on and you understand that he is this upset and need him to help you understand what it actually is that set him off so furiously. Was it that his brother has tried this with prior girlfriends? Stolen/slept with prior girlfriends? Otherwise ruined relationships with prior girlfriends? You care about him deeply and truly want to understand why his reaction is so strong so that you can be the best partner you can be and, since you are not a mind reader, you need and WANT him to help you understand.
On the surface, you did nothing worthy of this extreme reaction, but, being 19 (when I met my ex wife and biggest mistake I have ever made) there are a lot of “school of very hot knocks” life lessons and experiences that you have not had yet which makes you, quite literally, as naive as I was when I first met my ex wife. It is not a flaw. It is simply inexperience. In your shoes, I would most definitely, send an email or letter or go to his place if you feel you can and simply state, without any excuse or justification, that you realize that you hurt him when you did not refuse the gift, however, you are confused by his strong reaction to what, on the outside, seems like something rather innocent but you realize now that there can and probably is more behind it that you did not see. I can tell you did not want to cause a scene in front of his parents or brother and make things awkward. TELL HIM this flat out. Make it clear you understand the situation is F'ed up by his brother's actions without making excuses or trying to defend his brother's actions–that would be the WORST thing you can do. Just explain as simply as possible you were made uncomfortable by it and he is obviously upset about it, you want to return the gift, but you also realize you are missing key information and you WANT him to HELP you UNDERSTAND. Especially asking if something like this has happened prior. Show him you are on the same team and want to work on this as such.
This internet stranger and my family are all rooting for you both. Do not give up just because things get nude. As all the doggo videos and Facebook groups love to espouse: be a good HOOMAN. (No, not a mispelling.) Please, let us know how things go. My family and I all await, hopefully, good news.
There is a saying : “you lose lovers the same way you get them”. I recommend you give this cheater a very hot pass and in future please do not have affairs with people that are married or in a relationship
I love him so much i dont want to leave him
No…? It’s been 3 months. And you WORK together??? Too soon and you’re shitting where you eat. That’s not something you divulge for a WHILE.
Stage a low-grade gaslit fight.
“Welcome home, I guess. No, YOUR DINNER is in the office. What? Oh, I think you KNOW what you did. No! I’m not telling you if you don’t know. Get in there and EAT EVERY BITE. We’ll talk when you’re DONE.”
Have it in the office with a note that says, “Just kidding! Love! Enjoy every byte!”