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Hellen, 32 y.o.
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Date: October 2, 2022
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Yet???! There is no yet. End this. Never speak to him again. Go 100% NC. Block, delete his #. Same all all SM. If he knows where you move, get. TRO. He’s dangerous and unstable. Call police for a wellness check and send them the kids. But never speak to him again. Ever.
How did you find out he used to look her up in the past? Also how did you end up in his search history?
Honestly, it doesn't matter if he fucked the strippers or not. Trust is more than trusting your partner not to fuck other people.
Strippers can be a boundary. Lap dances/ getting twerked on can be a boundary.
Thank you for taking the time to reply. I honestly think she was lying to herself first before she was really lying to me; I appreciate your take nonetheless as it gives another perspective for me to mull over.
I think she did have a bit of entitlement too, I agree with you there. One difference for the future is that she will be coming out of law school, and her first job should have her making almost as much as I do and ultimately “level” the playing field. What warning signs would you look for in this circumstance?
But I'm not. I'm talking about candidacy and your resume.
A ton of partners in a short time is not good on the resume for long term partnership. No more than running through jobs and listen them on an application for a career.
Sorry for your loss.
Leave. It’s perfectly right to have a boundary like that when you have a medical condition like you do.
His inability to grasp the seriousness of the situation is proof he doesn’t actually care for you.
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My husband doesn’t have a lot of ambition; he can’t handle stress well. He drives a school bus and it pays kind of jack. But he takes pride in knowing the kids, in having basically memorized all of the roads in an entire county, and in having been someone his bosses can rely on for two decades.
Because I bring in the money and have a higher-stress job that keeps me from home, he also does like 80% of the housework and almost all of the cooking.
Someone doesn’t have to have a college education or a fancy job to be an adult, but they have to want to be able to care for themselves and probably others.
Also, she acts like he won’t tell her what he “needs” from her besides her apology but he is telling her: he needs them to talk about the specific things that she did so she can understand how it felt and affected him and she just doesn’t want to meet his needs on that because it forces her to examine her own behavior when an “I’m sorry” and “clean slate” dont
Oh yes. I agree with both of these. Happened to me as well.
We date for less than a year and we started having sex like a month ago since I needed my time. This is something I don't know how to discuss, plus all these might be normal for other males too and I only lack the technical information.
Why would she do this to you (getting married)
Man that sucks
I suspect it’s more than we think that people who save themselves do everything but penetration, but there’s a lot of people who are so deep into purity culture not even hand holding is acceptable
Don’t- that’s the healthiest way
If you don’t trust him you shouldn’t be with him. You can explain your view but what if he says no. You have no right to see his messages so he can refuse. Doesn’t mean he’s doing anything wrong. Then what?
No you dont.
right. like im looking at ur husband with a side eye lmfao.
Yea I would end it if I were you it’s o lot going to get worse
You have to speak with the gym managers. Have to. This is more than harassment.
I get like OP in situations like this too. He isn’t blacking out, he’s hyper focused. His short term memory isn’t working, all his senses are focused on his opponent. He can hear his GF scream and he isn’t thinking about what he’s doing, he’s just attacking, which is a normal human response to that situation.
I think you should discuss it with your SO first. Don't go texting your exes behind his back, as that could make him think you want to cheat on him if he finds out. But if he feels as secure in this relationship as you do, I doubt he'll have a problem with having you reach out in friendship. IMO there's nothing immoral about wanting to stay in contact with good people who once played an important role in your life, as long as you are completely over them romantically.
Your exes, and the current SOs of your exes, may feel differently. Don't be surprised if you reach out and never get an answer, or if they answer by asking you to never contact them again. Many people have no desire to be friends with an ex, and if talking to you makes their partners feel insecure, that will outweigh any desire they might have to be texting buddies.
I have been able to re-establish friendships with two out of three exes, following a long period of no contact after each breakup. We're not super-close, but we talk to each other once or twice a year so we can keep up with each other's lives – the same reason you would want to do it. My husband has met both of them, and he is not at all threatened when I chat with them. He has no reason to be.
You're loco. He needs to run
He is the kind of guy who used to sleep around with women. After we started dating, he stopped but his actions make me feel he wants her and maybe she doesn't but is insisting by being too nice just to get out of the friendzone.
He has a new purpose for his life. To online his life the best and most honest way he can, learning from his parents actions to be better than that
Has he been 'blackmailing' you in writing? Like over text or email or chat?
You do not have to leave your job and you do not have to give in to his bullying. Go to HR, your supervisor or you manager and explain what is happening. That you two have broken up, you want to continue working there and have no issues with doing so but that he is threatening you/ blackmailing you/ bullying you into quitting and you want him to stop. They'll take care of it for you.
i hope that guy can come out of this okay, emotional incest is scary
either way, yes it is weird, but he's still becoming an adult like you and hopefully if he gets a job or goes to college he will understand that their relationship like that is not healthy and he can break out of it, but i will say you probably shouldnt stay in this relationship, youre young and this can be a lot for someone of your age, just stay safe and stay happy, good luck to you in whatever you choose