YOU can't fix your husband. Only HE can do that. With therapy. Lots of it.
He is traumatizing you and the kids, and it will stick with them the rest of their lives. If you won't help yourself, help them.
Ask him to go elsewhere for a few days or a week. Give yourself and the kids a little peace. If he won't go, is there somewhere you and the kids can go for a while?
Before you leave, try to delete the film from his computer, phone, cloud, etc. I don’t know anything about IT but maybe ask in an IT sub to get advice on seeing if he’s uploaded it anywhere. He may have also emailed it to himself. Delete it from however you originally sent it to him. Best of luck.
No don't do this to yourself. She found out the grass isn't greener and can see you're doing well, improved in many aspects of your life and likely wants a piece of that.
She has proven to be distrustful, so she is not worth it. Don't throw all your progress away.
Regardless people who break up and get back together rarely ever workout
She only started telling you about this trip a few days before it was planned for, which could have taken weeks if not months in advance for any or all of the 4 to get time off.
And as the original plan has been changed, is this guy providing accommodation for the other 3 or just your 'gf' who clearly does not respect your relationship or you.
Yikes. He does sound like he has a guilty conscience, doesn't he?
Good feedback here. Protect yourself OP. Toxic people hate rejection.
YOU can't fix your husband. Only HE can do that. With therapy. Lots of it.
He is traumatizing you and the kids, and it will stick with them the rest of their lives. If you won't help yourself, help them.
Ask him to go elsewhere for a few days or a week. Give yourself and the kids a little peace. If he won't go, is there somewhere you and the kids can go for a while?
My concern is that he will ramp up to violence.
Before you leave, try to delete the film from his computer, phone, cloud, etc. I don’t know anything about IT but maybe ask in an IT sub to get advice on seeing if he’s uploaded it anywhere. He may have also emailed it to himself. Delete it from however you originally sent it to him. Best of luck.
No don't do this to yourself. She found out the grass isn't greener and can see you're doing well, improved in many aspects of your life and likely wants a piece of that.
She has proven to be distrustful, so she is not worth it. Don't throw all your progress away.
Regardless people who break up and get back together rarely ever workout
Yeah but then he could say that someone is using his photos or his account got hacked.
I say create a fake Tinder account, send messages confirming that it's him, set up a meeting location and show up.
She only started telling you about this trip a few days before it was planned for, which could have taken weeks if not months in advance for any or all of the 4 to get time off.
And as the original plan has been changed, is this guy providing accommodation for the other 3 or just your 'gf' who clearly does not respect your relationship or you.
Sounds like you are married to a 33 year old child.