0 views
Hey!!! guys I am a new girl and I would love that this is my best experience. [1000 tokens remaining]
Date: October 5, 2022
AmateurPub
You aren’t right. She definitely cheated. There is zero chance she stayed faithful. That’s not her “friend”. It’s her lover.
I’ve been the guy not to worry about. You should worry about that guy lol. But I wouldn’t say anything. That dude is just waiting for you to fuck up and being paranoid, checking her phone etc. is mad sus behavior. If she is wanting a ring anytime soon that’s not a good way to be towards you but if you guys are just dating for less than a year this situation can be less serious and will fade.
Just to let you know, my current gf (we were monogamous for years and now poly) broke up with her ex and dated me after he got all insecure about me and started acting up. If she’s high value someone is always going to be after her. Best luck –
No. He's right. You're making problems worse. The only thing you can do is love your brother more. As if telling him, “Hey, our parents made you to be a disposable donor but they dont really mean that and might still love you even though you aren't dead.” is going to make him feel better.
You're a psychopath.
If he doesn't like your sister a d has no compassion is he someo w you want to be married to
Yucky. I can't stand people like this. Good luck with that. I would question her mothering skills if she is that cold about a defensless creature dying and her bf being understandibly upset. I understand know one is perfect, but damn. She sounds pretty ruthless. I am sorry for your loss. My dog passed away and visited me in my dreams. It was so vivid and beautiful, I woke up crying.
Ma’am what do you think will change? I also never want to get legally married, doesn’t mean I won’t love and care for someone my whole life. He’s been honest, why do you think he’ll change? You’re wasting his time
Thank you for typing all this out I appreciate your approach. Yes I'm super super young but he makes me feel a way I haven't felt yet. I know life is short but in this moment I want him, I want us, I don't want to let that go anytime soon.
I need to work on myself. Find out who I am, what I love to do, how I like to spend my time.
Depends on if the insecurities would cause arguments or would disrupt daily life. Everyone is insecure about something, but you learn to deal with it. For the most part, no I could not deal with insecurities that are anything more than minor issues (weight insecurity, appearance, wild past, etc).
I’m not annoyed, I’m just responding lol. To me, if someone cares about you, they’ll show it one way or another. Not doing anything at all (to me) says they don’t care.
You can’t live! her life for her. She wants to get pregnant and you can’t stop her. You think you are helping but you aren’t. Stop listening to her crying and complaining. She isn’t taking your advice so tell her she has to deal with him and you are done. By dumping her emotions on you she is transferring them and that gives her room to add more. You love your friend and hate to see her ruining her life, but she’s going to continue to do it until she’s had enough. If that means she’s a single mother because he will break up with her once she’s pregnant, you can’t stop it. So protect your own mental health.
don’t worry he broke up with me.
Why are you calling another 13 year old a prostitute??? What is wrong with you
Having multiple crushes means literally nothing
Please be honest tho. If I was hypothetical 25 or even 24 etc would you say I need to review my life? I feel like im not maturing fast enough…
Here we go. We know how women always pushing to answear stupid questions and then we dont believe or go crazy if they say the opposite. Im a woman i did this many times and I regretted because just caused fights without a reason.
Well, communicate that you need him to communicate better. I’m sure you’ve already done this but if you haven’t, I suggest you do.
Assuming you’ve communicated your needs to him express to him that it hurts you that he doesn’t seem to care about your needs and feelings. It worries you when he doesn’t message you. It’s a very small thing to do to make you feel heard and appeased. It’s such a simple thing that not doing it sends the message that he doesn’t value your feelings or your needs, that he doesn’t value you.
This is assuming that your request isn’t something being asked because of your anxiety or fear of losing him. Assuming that you are being reasonable and not clingy. Assuming that you are in an emotional state that doesn’t require constant validation and attention.
Baby killer detected.
I was prescribed suboxone for pain. It is commonly used for opiate addiction but it absolutely can be prescribed for pain.
they don't want us to buy a house they want us to rent and live! together before we buy.
That's an extremely smart decision. You can certainly buy a house on your own, but certainly not as an unmarried couple who has never lived together…that's just asking for trouble.
Go to drugs.con cuz your 30 years experience is BS!! That’s taken directly from the site as reference.
“Buprenorphine sublingual tablets are most often used for the first 1 or 2 days to help you start with treatment.
Other forms of buprenorphine are used to treat moderate to severe pain.”
Don’t get involved. Take wife to see a GP so she has info on why she should maintain healthy weight and how to. I let myself go and now am on meds because GP worried my liver inflammation blood marker means there’s fat being deposited in heart, brain etc.
Shut up woman
My advice to you would be to try and stick it out until you graduate in order to have your mom keep paying and to be able to get a better job where you can support yourself.
That said, if your mental health is just too bad then you need to prioritize that but you also need to have a plan for how you're going to support yourself or where you're going to go.
Your bf is being a jerk. Unless you have a habit of fishing for validation, I don't see the problem. I'm like you, I cook for people to show love. Yeah it's great when they compliment you, but that doesn't mean you're doing it just for that. Cooking for people who are mourning is a very standard practice, not anything new. It sounds like your bf is just projecting his own issues onto you.
She isn't forced to have sex with you. She decided to do so willingly and from your story I doubt she regretted it. She is a lesbian but that doesn't mean she disliked to have sex with you. It's just that she likes to have sex with women more.
Just go talk to her and make her easy your, very understandable, insecurities about this. To me its sounds you to have a wonderful relationship and mabey you can work something out (like an open relationship) or mabey you two could make the end of your relationship a little easier for both of you.
Good advice. You never know when ‘too far’ has been reached til it’s too late. It’s like the toothpaste tube analogy. Can’t stuff drunken behavior back into the past, once you’ve created your reputation it’s difficult to change perceptions.
And number 2 – I don’t know how this isn’t more common sense knowledge. Any male coworker I’ve had that I was friends with – even if both of us had partners – I made sure to always include their wives in social plans, and never be in a position that I wouldn’t want to be in as the wife. If your partner starts hanging out with someone of the opposite sex outside of work, one-on-one, after already spending the bulk of their work week with that person…??? marinara flags.
u/Opening-Damage9123, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.
The right way to do it is to create a brand new Reddit account that begins with ThrowRA.
Please create a new account that starts with ThrowRA in the username and try again. Please note that we will not make exceptions to this rule.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Hello /u/xMojito,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Thank you, I have saved your comments to read back on for strength
Hello /u/Just—someone,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Hello /u/tarkovlover1,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
She gave me an option, and I chose to not attend. So yeah, she should be cool irrespective of what choice i make. Thanks!
In the past I did and she mentioned it felt like I treated her less than human because I ‘ignored’ her, but I told her I didn’t feel comfortable being around her so gravitated to other friends
It’s alarming that you’re not triggered tbf.
He’s sleeping with her.
Because I’ve been seeing a lot of post like this and people around me being deceived this way as well. This is my POV and you don’t have to like it lol but it’s proof of low intelligence to start name calling in a discussion ?
So your answer is just to let people make wrong decisions even when they impact me? Yeah sure I’ll just let my life be negatively impacted because I’m not allowed to point out risks and suggest more appropriate alternatives
Booking a train that then gets cancelled due to strikes the train will only mean we are stuck at home missing out on an event we’re both looking forward to so no there is no positive to it.
It sounds like she's wearing clothes that would be appropriate in a gym or at a pool, so I wouldn't worry about them being all that revealing
It’s it effecting your sex life? Is he constantly on those pages? Do you want him to go through his entire following and get rid of those accounts?
Agreed on all of this
Huh, I don’t disagree, I’m just confused why you say the other side? That implies you disagree or there’s another angle, when what you stated is a likely outcome of what I described, ie doesn’t read him well which stirs shit up to the point that it creates problems.
These days you're considered dysfunctional if you never had a marriage and divorce at least once.
You have presented a healthy response to your predicament.
So she’s hypocritical.
This isn’t going to change if you continue your relationship. So end it.
I'm not obsessed. It's just an intrusive thought.
I don't see the sister often at all actually. My girlfriend is from Japan and her family/sister lives there still. We met through university in the US.
Get the fuck out. He's isolated you from your friends, he's controlling how you dress, and he's making you change your religion. He wants to own you.
Wondered how your take could be so bad – but a quick tour of your post history answered that for me
Yeah, but they all ended for a good reason, no? I'm sure you fought your damdest to make things work, but in the end, they just didn't.
Yes, every relationship has hurdles but keep in mind, this was a hurdle you two couldn't overcome then. There's no reason to believe things will be different now and there is definitely no reason to believe you two stand a chance at tackling the even more difficult obstacles in the future (marriage, children, etc.).
thank you for your honesty, I'm making plans with a friend and am on my way to getting my ducks in a row so we can move out and later on move out of this city. It's going to be a shit ton of work but I'm worth it
OP, your girlfriend is abusive. I'm sorry. You need to get out, it will never get better, but it might get worse.
Your fault??♀️
yea I’m fine with that. I’m heavy on self improvement, but I don’t get it, if she really did want to stop talking to me, why would she talk to me when we come across each other irl, or why can’t she just say it directly. Thank you for your response doe, have a great day ahead (:
It's more nuanced than that. The longer you wait the less likely it's reversible.
WAIT you never met in real life and in love with this person really? She’s a lair dude open your eyes get off of your computer and come back to the real world. Look outside meet people go on dates in real life. You’re 20 not 80 still you young.
I'll get proof wish me luck
I think you need to slow down and just enjoy the moment more. Getting engaged after 6 months is very fast, he is right!
After 6 months you are still figuring out each other's quirks and personalities, how each of you responds to new situations as they arise. You probably don't know each other that well, never mind each other's families and friends. You are still figuring out how your lives will change as you become more connected.
For comparison, me and my now husband got engaged 2 years after meeting, it has now been just over 4 years and we've been married 8 months. I know couples that got married after being together over 5 years, it isn't something to rush into. Combining your life with someone is a big step that can be messy to undo if it goes wrong.
It’s been 6 years man. This is beyond pathetic now, you need to rethink this relationship and get yourself a therapist that can help you become less of a spineless doormat. Your GF isn’t going to change for you and all your doing is enabling her. Wake up!
6 months is super fast
That is not roleplaying, that is racism. I would move on, pronto.
Let her do her own thing and you do your own thing for a while. Maybe couples counseling would be beneficial.
Does he show any sympathy for how you feel about this at all?
That’s true and a good point!
I agree with your husband. He’s dividing your estate in 1/2 between you both. He’s heirs get 50% and your heirs get 50%.
The simple solution is not to have a joint will/trust. Leave your assets to your children and he can leave his assets to his son.
Screen shot so you have proof.
Send her a text letting her know that you have something important to tell her, so you would like to know when she’s due to return from London.
Try sleeping, but if you can’t, spend the time packing her stuff up.
There is no good reason for her to be where her phone is telling you she is – even best case scenario she has broken the trust of the relationship by lying about where she was going to be.
Oh I'm sorry I read this wrong…couples therapy would help…look in your area for low cost or free therapy…have a heart to heart talk with her. Porn and masturbation can become unhealthy…maybe you can ask her to refrain from it for a week and work on your intimacy. Sounds like she has some issues with sex and intimacy that needs to be addressed.
How does this douchebag who acts like he knows so much about sex not know what size condoms he needs at 26??? Because he's a fucking piece of shit.
Always be consistent or your words will mean nothing. If you state it is a dealbreaker then it is. Or don't use that word.
She is getting salty over a 3rd old picture with a friend then she may not be emotionally stable enough for an adult relationship. She may have some personal growth to do and work on her own self esteem if a photo makes her annoyed enough to suggest that she hang out with her friends and take photos as if that would have some kind of effect.
People have photos of their lives and friends, to suggest that you should avoid the other half of the population in taking photos, does that seem okay to you?
Well done for having an adult conversation with adult values. Don't fall for crap like that.
Respect is one of the key relationship values, honesty, trust and communication the other basics. Don't settle for less.
Nope. No. Hell no. I might be down voted but don't care. Would find it disrespectful if I hadn't been told about it and would have shut it down once I had found out
You can’t force yourself to be okay with an open/poly relationship and please don’t allow yourself to be convinced otherwise. She is already testing boundaries by being in contact with this person and discussing before being honest with you. If you’re not sexually compatible then this just may not be the right relationship for you.
This is someone who won't permanently change, it's just how they are wired. Cut the cord and walk away.
Therapists…..good professional therapists, are trained for that and will not judge you for your behavior. I did therapy once and she told me that everyone should do therapy at some point. You go to the doctor when you're sick, so why wouldn't you see a therapist when something in your life isn't good or your mind feels unwell.
It can be intimidating at first and it's not a magic bullet. You're in a relationship. It's a partnership You will be expected to do things outside of it and your therapist will be expected to do things to get to where you should be. It may take some trial and error to find the right one too. I had a friend who went through three until she found one she meshed with. It's okay to be picky.
But it's obvious that whatever your doing is not working. Acknowledging you have this issue and admitting you want to get better takes a lot of courage. Now the next step is going to be, what are you going to do to improve? I would say that what you are doing now isn't working and you need additional resources.
I know that she had a really bad relationship about 2.5/3 years ago and I know that she is going through a therapy process. We have always talked about what happened in our lives, good or bad, I know everything as she knows everything about me aswell. that's why I'm so concerned this time, because she is not speaking at all about this
My phone has years and years of my life in photos and my social media has decades. It would take me forever to scrub all my ex girlfriends from my phone/social.
I'm not going to say you have to, but I'd leave someone if they called me a fish tbh.
It's not productive at all. If you have needs that arent being met, then just say that and let me know what I'm doing wrong.
And it's also just insulting.
I just have to say.. 99% chance you wont be marrying this man. Why are you putting so much effort competing with porn for a guy that calls you a fish. Does he satisfy you in bed? Or are you conditioned to feel like giving him all the pleasure is enough for you?
And I stg if you say something like “making him feels good is what makes me feel good” I will tell you this relationship is doomed. It's okay to want something for yourself. It's okay to have sexual and emotional needs that arent tied to the enjoyment of someone else. So if you feel that way, just get out.. be single for a while.. and figure out what makes you happy.
If a guy isnt adding to your life, are taking from your life and that's just a waste of time
I would not date you. She should move on it’s weird to date someone that fucked your mom or had some sort of relationship bc she’ll be thinking in the back of her head oh she knows how he looks hot or how the sex is. She deserves better the relationship will be toxic
He’s likely having sex with his dog
Be plan A, not B, if she loves you she will be yours and not want more. Stand up for your value.
I think you are both right and that's a really important discussion to have, so thank you both.
Honestly you’re being insecure/controlling by wanting her to delete it. She obviously shouldn’t have lied, but you shouldn’t have asked her to delete it in the first place.
It sounds like he was just being playful and you threw a punch. Yes, you are abusive.
It won’t get better… get out now!
It's scent*
Don't cook on scheduled days and tell him it will be his responsibility to provide dinner for the two of you. It will be his choice to either cook or pick up take-out from a decent restaurant.
It is a shared vehicle, he has a right to see where it is, as does she.
She is going to have to work to rebuild that trust. When someone cheats, it sends the message that the relationship is not very important and neither is the spouse being betrayed. She may be uncomfortable, but if she wants to fix things she should be willing to endure him feeling insecure for a while yet.
If the only “spying” he's doing is via the GPS in their shared vehicle, I see no problem there. If he moves onto checking her personal property or takes any other measures beyond asking her where she's going and what she's doing, that would be a red flag in my eyes, but it's perfectly reasonable for him to be suspicious and to utilize pre-existing tech that is installed in his property, even if that property is shared.
If she wants privacy in the shared car, she's likely going to need to prove to him that she is trustworthy.
I did. They said they would “Look into it”
i do think that’s up with me, i’m working on detaching but the attachment i have is very powerful so it’s taking some time
i do think that’s up with me, i’m working on detaching but the attachment i have is very powerful so it’s taking some time
i do think that’s up with me, i’m working on detaching but the attachment i have is very powerful so it’s taking some time
Doctor’s appointments are private. Back off.
When you meet the right person, you don’t have to try, and you don’t need to beg for respect.
This guy is using a classic manipulation move, if you stay with him after he literally cheated on you, him cheating on you will be the baseline for the entire relationship, he will have all the power…
He's only posted one thing in the short time he has been single, and it's already gotten back to you through mutual friends and you grill him about it…that's why. Leave him alone, you're broken up. He probably wants to be able to post what he wants without having to justify every action to his now ex girlfriend.
Cut the shit with being controlling.
She sexted him, maybe she was fucking him. You will never know for sure.
She is a cheater, leave her and don't waste any time on her.
I understand where you're coming from. It's just hot to hear because my heart is breaking at the thought of losing her. While her actions have hurt me deeply, I still love her and want to work things out if possible. Thank you for your comment.
What should I say now…? He was so afraid of me not liking him and I couldn’t figure out why until I met him I also asked why he’s been single and he told me girls seem to lose interest
I've been divorced.
While I never hid it, I was always nervous about telling a girl I was interested in bc she may not want to be with me bc of it. He shouldn't have lied to you. I'm just throwing out there why he may have withheld it from you.
As far as the sickness part. I can 100% see why that would be a concern.
Personally, I would do nothing until I spoke to him.
Y'all. If any of you think for one fucking second this is a real post… Jesus Christ.
“I offered to piss on him”? Seriously? Go away.
My friend was in a similar fucky situation she got the dude by becoming FWB then relationship. It’s always going to hang over his head that his friend got to you first so it’s gonna be hot to beat.
While it’s an extreme reaction, you don’t actually seem to have apologised for it, saying ‘you can piss on me’ actually makes it seem like you did it on purpose rather than the biological accident that I hope it was.
So find some information about it (preferably from a reputable source), apologise that it happened, and then tell him that it was an accident and something that can happen during sex, and give him a copy of the information so you both can learn from this.
If being labelled GF was more of a comfort thing us she wouldn’t be unsure about being official.
You sure it isn’t YOU forcing it before she is ready?
Thank you, I'm pleased that it's not all doom and gloom for me and my relationship. He is very respectful of boundaries and great at emotionally intelligent conversations and insights, so I really hope we can work this out. I have to make sure I do stay rational and logical throughout this, I can feel frustration creeping up on me though so I have to keep that in check!!
Thanks!
It’s not stupidity!
Predators are REALLY good at emotionally ambushing their victims and manipulating their nervous system. Basically, the victim gets flooded and flustered, they go into a sort of “freeze” mode, they can’t find their voice and get out of the situation. Like it would be rude or something? The predator is manipulative enough to make them doubt in the moment that they have agency, it’s a terrible and violating experience.
Source: something like this happened to me in my mid 20’s. Professional models talk about similar experiences often in the media.
Obviously, I would never find myself in a situation like this today. I wasn’t stupid or naive back then. I just came across a particularly adept predator. It happens.
No way, he should spend his youth tied up in a marriage that already is showing major cracks in trustworthiness and judgement.
Sarcasm, btw.
My abusive family forced me to go to my graduation and threw a huge party. Guess what I got? My tweaker grandmother stealing all my money, my parents abusing me, and forcing myself to be someone I’m not. I can’t wait to earn my bachelors degree and graduate with my chosen family than with my blood family. We put too much stress on blood family. Blood maybe thicker than water, but at least water doesn’t leave a stain.
I’m not really looking for advice on my sexuality label, that doesn’t really matter to me that much! More concerned about whether or not other people have had a similar experience
Yeah family don't want OP at graduation but by god when they need some money or medical help they gonna come knocking.
Forget the wedding there is always the reception