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Room for live! sex video chat GermanMilf
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Date: October 12, 2022
The real question you should be asking yourself in this situation isn’t “How can I help him?” but “What are my boundaries in a relationship?”
I was in a similar situation last year: my partner quit his job because it was absolutely sucking the life out of him. I was honestly happy when he quit because I knew it was a major source of his depression. That being said, I expected it to be a 1-2 month break, he’d get a new job, and that would be the end of it. Well one month became 2 months… then 3… then 6, and then he only found a part time job. Given, my situation wasn’t exactly the same as yours as I could easily support us on one income, but I’m not comfortable with a partner who isn’t contributing much to the household. I know money isn’t everything, but because he was so depressed he wasn’t taking on extra chores or anything of that nature to make up for it. He was also going to therapy and starting on medication for his mental health, so it wasn’t like he wasn’t working on himself.
I made an active decision every day to stay with this man even though this was dragging out far longer than I anticipated. Even by the end of it I feel like I never established super solid boundaries – even if I had I think what happened would not have crossed them. A lot of this is due to our financial situation – if we had been worse off and every day was a struggle to pull enough together for us to live comfortably I probably would have had firmer, more stringent boundaries. If he had refused therapy or medication earlier on during the year that would have also been unacceptable to me.
So what are your boundaries? Does he need to be working on himself through therapy? Does he need to be contributing $$$ to the household within x amount of time? If he isn’t actively seeking for a job, does he need to be contributing to the household more heavily on other areas like chores? Only you can answer these questions and only he can decide whether or not he wants the relationship to continue under these guidelines. If he isn’t willing to meet your needs, only you can decide how far you’re willing to bend before enough is enough.
The only thing I could suggest doing differently is that if a future date/gf/whatever gets in some other guy’s car, don’t stop her. Let her go, and break up by text. She isn’t worth getting slapped, let alone you getting your ass kicked by onlookers who don’t know the full story. As soon as she’s even trying to get in his car, she’s somebody else’s problem.
Why are you letting him make these rules? What do you think he will do if you break his rules? Are you scared of him on some level?
You mentioned his “expectation” that you provide dinner even if you go to the gym. What about your expectations? I think you should start expecting as much of him as he expects from you.
I think you should start to expect him to prepare his own meals however many nights you want. (I’d say to expect him to provide dinner for you both, the way you do for him, but I think that will end up with you either having no food or food you dislike).
Buy yourself some frozen dinners or whatever else you want to eat that is super easy, and tell him which nights you expect him to fend for himself. Give him a couple days notice so he can grocery shop or whatever, but set your expectation and hold firm. Unless he’s abusive, that shouldn’t be something you are scared to do.
Also, preparing home cooked meals every night is a LOT of work when you factor in menu planning and shopping. If he isn’t going to share this effort, is he going to make some kind of equivalent effort doing something else? My guess is no…
I think this would be a friend I would become less emotionally invested in. No matter what you says she's gonna do what she's gonna do. If she texts you about these guys just give a generic, great, I'm sure yall will be very happy, answer. Don't give a fuck anymore emotionally. You know she's not gonna listen so it doesn't matter. If you have to cut her out of your life that's OK too.
We’ve known each other for 15 years. My cat is already a combo cat indoor and out. So that’s not a big adjustment.
I’m more concerned with the dog and my lease isn’t up for another 6 months so we still have 6 months of conversations about it.