First, I’m fundamentally on your side and this will be the only question arguing against it, but do you ever visit him?
After all that, it’s 2023. Weather apps and channels certainly aren’t perfect, but they’re largely correct or close to correct about temperature days in advance.
In saying that, he logically knows the deal every time. Regardless, do the trains not have air conditioning? If not, fair enough. That would surely be uncomfortable.
But let’s be realistic; that’s not the reason. As such, your focus is on the wrong thing. What’s crazy though is you’re not even wrong to want an apology, and his argument against it is absurd.
So let’s put things into perspective; why are you in this relationship. I can assume it’s because you love him. But why?
I surely feel sad but it’s not that heart breaking feeling that I have felt before
Sounds pretty normal to me. Almost like it's your heart protecting you. You've had all the pain before etc… and you're now wired to not hit the rocks when it happens again.
Chances are it's at least some of that, maybe mixed in with not being as fussed about this person this time around. It's not a bad thing that it doesn't hurt and as it's happened more than once, nobody wants to take a ride on the big emotional rollercoaster everytime they have a break up.
It's likely self-protective densitisation and that's not a bad thing.
This has to be a fake post but on the off chance that it might be genuine I will answer.
The fact that he told you that he was possessive, controlling, jealous etc etc straight away off the bat before you even got together as an item is literally the biggest red flag and sea of red flags you could ever have. There is literally nothing at all attractive about it or a person who is like this or having a partner and relationship like this.
I can only assume that you have some really significant trauma relating to this from a previous relationship or several previous relationships and as a result this is all you know and have experienced and therefore it is the type of people who you seek out and the relationships that you want. That is what makes it ‘attractive’ to you is the fact that you only know and can relate to this.
What you immediately need to do is end this so called relationship with him and cut off all contact totally with him and then you need to get yourself an appointment with your doctor to get referred to a therapist in order to work through all of this trauma that you have and undo the association and connection that has led you to wanting this type of person and relationship. You need to do this first and work on yourself and go from there
You owe him honesty. Cheating in any capacity is never ok.
This is not to excuse his past behaviors, but you actively sought out to hurt your husband on this trip.
You stayed through the trauma. You showed him treating you in that way was ok. He started to change over the years and has become more of the proper father/husband that he should be.
What you did was wrong.
In the end I am certain that a divorce will be ensued. If not for you infidelity at least for your true desire to leave.
I see now. Yeah it does feel like manipulation on her end.
She kept saying “I don’t know how to get over it. It isn’t fair to you if I hold this over your head cause you could find someone better who makes you happier”
I see now. Yeah it does feel like manipulation on her end.
She kept saying “I don’t know how to get over it. It isn’t fair to you if I hold this over your head cause you could find someone better who makes you happier”
So when I was a kid, my dad must have said something to my mom about the way she washed his work clothes. I’m not sure what he said, but it was clear to my mom that he didn’t appreciate the fact that she took the time to make sure his work clothes were clean (they both worked).
After that, my mom never washed my dads work clothes again.
If someone doesn’t appreciate what you do for them, just stop doing it. It doesn’t have to be any more complicated than that. I agree with all of the other commenters saying that you should go on strike. You’re not being respected and the things you do for your husband are not being appreciated. So, stop doing them. Tell him that you want to be appreciated and respected as a partner, and that if he wanted a mother he should have never moved out of his mamas house.
Stand up for yourself – you’re the only one who can do that. Have your own back just like you’d want your best friend to have your back (or how you wouldn’t let anyone disrespect your best friend).
Would you guys messaging me your response I can’t see all the comments
First, I’m fundamentally on your side and this will be the only question arguing against it, but do you ever visit him?
After all that, it’s 2023. Weather apps and channels certainly aren’t perfect, but they’re largely correct or close to correct about temperature days in advance.
In saying that, he logically knows the deal every time. Regardless, do the trains not have air conditioning? If not, fair enough. That would surely be uncomfortable.
But let’s be realistic; that’s not the reason. As such, your focus is on the wrong thing. What’s crazy though is you’re not even wrong to want an apology, and his argument against it is absurd.
So let’s put things into perspective; why are you in this relationship. I can assume it’s because you love him. But why?
Tell her to come on down to reddit…we will be her best friends, an ear to listen to…we can laugh and cry together…and make her day a little easier.
I surely feel sad but it’s not that heart breaking feeling that I have felt before
Sounds pretty normal to me. Almost like it's your heart protecting you. You've had all the pain before etc… and you're now wired to not hit the rocks when it happens again.
Chances are it's at least some of that, maybe mixed in with not being as fussed about this person this time around. It's not a bad thing that it doesn't hurt and as it's happened more than once, nobody wants to take a ride on the big emotional rollercoaster everytime they have a break up.
It's likely self-protective densitisation and that's not a bad thing.
A roommate typically doesn't mean a shared bedroom. It typically means a shared domicile with separate bedrooms for each roommate. That's why I asked.
I have had MANY roommates, but I have never shared a bedroom with any of them.
This has to be a fake post but on the off chance that it might be genuine I will answer.
The fact that he told you that he was possessive, controlling, jealous etc etc straight away off the bat before you even got together as an item is literally the biggest red flag and sea of red flags you could ever have. There is literally nothing at all attractive about it or a person who is like this or having a partner and relationship like this.
I can only assume that you have some really significant trauma relating to this from a previous relationship or several previous relationships and as a result this is all you know and have experienced and therefore it is the type of people who you seek out and the relationships that you want. That is what makes it ‘attractive’ to you is the fact that you only know and can relate to this.
What you immediately need to do is end this so called relationship with him and cut off all contact totally with him and then you need to get yourself an appointment with your doctor to get referred to a therapist in order to work through all of this trauma that you have and undo the association and connection that has led you to wanting this type of person and relationship. You need to do this first and work on yourself and go from there
You owe him honesty. Cheating in any capacity is never ok.
This is not to excuse his past behaviors, but you actively sought out to hurt your husband on this trip.
You stayed through the trauma. You showed him treating you in that way was ok. He started to change over the years and has become more of the proper father/husband that he should be.
What you did was wrong.
In the end I am certain that a divorce will be ensued. If not for you infidelity at least for your true desire to leave.
I see now. Yeah it does feel like manipulation on her end.
She kept saying “I don’t know how to get over it. It isn’t fair to you if I hold this over your head cause you could find someone better who makes you happier”
I see now. Yeah it does feel like manipulation on her end.
She kept saying “I don’t know how to get over it. It isn’t fair to you if I hold this over your head cause you could find someone better who makes you happier”
So when I was a kid, my dad must have said something to my mom about the way she washed his work clothes. I’m not sure what he said, but it was clear to my mom that he didn’t appreciate the fact that she took the time to make sure his work clothes were clean (they both worked).
After that, my mom never washed my dads work clothes again.
If someone doesn’t appreciate what you do for them, just stop doing it. It doesn’t have to be any more complicated than that. I agree with all of the other commenters saying that you should go on strike. You’re not being respected and the things you do for your husband are not being appreciated. So, stop doing them. Tell him that you want to be appreciated and respected as a partner, and that if he wanted a mother he should have never moved out of his mamas house.
Stand up for yourself – you’re the only one who can do that. Have your own back just like you’d want your best friend to have your back (or how you wouldn’t let anyone disrespect your best friend).