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ExoticWonderx Public Chat Channel
Date: November 24, 2022
AmateurPub
AmateurPub
ExoticWonderx Public Chat Channel
Your an MD. This is human behavior in the raw. They are judging a book by it’s cover. Understand that you may like and enjoy this crowd but they see you as an invader. Undercover cops use a camouflage tactic to infiltrate, military use camouflage to protect against harm so it would be prudent to attempt to fit in. The alternative is to frequent the same place and become known (takes time) to find acceptance. Learned this being straight hanging in a gay bar that was close and cheap.
You did the right thing. The suite and sharing would push me over the edge. I’ve shared rooms like that with coworkers but always the same sex and my husband knew, mainly because I talk about everything
So the one thing that seems to be missing from all of this is you communicating your feelings with your wife.
Reading through what you have written makes a lot of sense when taken in the context of what you have identified about yourself, and that is;
I have generalized anxiety and fearful avoidant tendencies.
To put it simply, you are living what is essentially a self-fulfilling prophecy. You see the world the way you see it, expect that no one else does so you live it. What has happened though is that this has been picked up by your wife so of course she is now also living it. I bet she has spent the past few years walking on eggshells around you to the point where it's no surprise that you are in a DB.
As you say, you have moved on in your mind but you have somehow neglected to tell anyone else about it BUT you seem to expect everyone around you to be oblivious.
Here is some news for you. Everyone around HAS picked up on it so I bet that the past few years in your household has been overall a very shitty one for everyone.
Sorry, but as someone who is also prone to anxiety and who has dealt with avoidance tendencies their whole life, I can categorically state that you are being a selfish arsehole.
This whole situation is on your shoulders. The fact that your marriage is in the shit is all down to you and your attitude. Nothing else, nothing that your wife has done or your kids have done has bought this on. This is all on you.
And you know why I say this? Because this was me around 17 years ago and I thought and felt the same way as you do now. I felt and thought that what I needed was what you think you need.
And you know what – I was so very fucking wrong and almost blew up everyones lives because of it. I let my anxiety and my avoidance almost ruin a perfectly good marriage and ruin the lives of 3 kids that thought the world of me. And it took my 18 months out of the house, a major health scare, lots of therapy AND lots of actual communication with my wife to come to the realisation that the problems I thought we were suffering didn't actually exist outside of my own head!
So let me say this again. You are creating these issues, you are living in a world of a self-fulfilling prophecy and everything that has happened is a direct result of your actions and behaviours. Everyone else around you, your wife, your kids, etc are all just reacting to you.
If you wish to remain checked out of your own life, that is on you and is a burden that if you wish to bear it well no one will stop you. I have feeling that far from you finding relief, they will probably find more relief.
That world of greener grass is in actuality nothing more than green painted concrete. But by the time you discover this you would of burnt down everyones lives.
And you will be no better off than what you are now.
So if you want that greener patch of grass in your life, how about taking the time to water and care for the one you have right here and now!
Do not make the same mistake I made because it robbed me of close to two years of all of our lives.