Totally agree on all counts with what you said. I dated someone who vastly overshared past relationship and sex details to the point where it made me uncomfortable. And in one instance made me question her judgment:
She let me know in detail how one of her ex’s had cheated on her with TWO of her friends . . . people that she was still friends with and that I had gotten to know. I was so gobsmacked that I never even asked how she could still be very close friends with them.
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I think he and I view animals much differently, and I can understand that. My concern is that I’m the only one putting in effort, and that he seems to have no sense of when something needs to be taken care of. Like I’m the one who set her first appointment with the vet and when I told him he’s like “oh, I didn’t even think of that”. And to me I can just hear 10 years in the future like “oh, I didn’t even think that we had to make dentist appointments for the kids”
Well it is interesting for once to see the genders reversed (as in, not a man pressuring the woman for a threesome), but my advice will be the same regardless.
First, don’t expect her to tell the truth. She can very easily lie, or partially lie. Then you’ll find out later that she did have someone in mind.
Secondly, does it really matter to you if she did think of someone else or not? I think the most important thing is to figure out what you want from a relationship, and what you’re comfortable with. I am monogamous and would never be comfortable with this. I notice you already said no, then gave in when she pestered you? Please consider if you really want to do this, or if you are just giving in so you don’t lose her.
No one is worth messing up your mental health. And you don’t need to compromise on these boundaries for someone else. Just figure out what you want, and if it’s not what she wants, you might not be compatible. Good luck.
I’M definitely sure anyone would be willing to try
But stay?!
With you?!
You’re definitely single because you can’t actually keep a relationship because of who you are (and that’s why you get triggered when you’re awesome friend gets into a relationship because you know it’s probably going to last so you try and find an excuse to sabotage it if you can)
YOU NEED TO TELL YOUR MOTHER NOW.
if she figures out you knew and hid it along with losing your father you will be losing your mother too. She will resent you.
“Lettuce talk about the lettuce. Your reaction seemed overly aggressive and angry to me for a small thing. Why did you react so towards me?”
Np man
Defo a troll
Totally agree on all counts with what you said. I dated someone who vastly overshared past relationship and sex details to the point where it made me uncomfortable. And in one instance made me question her judgment:
She let me know in detail how one of her ex’s had cheated on her with TWO of her friends . . . people that she was still friends with and that I had gotten to know. I was so gobsmacked that I never even asked how she could still be very close friends with them.
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I missed that second part and you'r eright, other parties woudl surely be concerned.
But even so…he still should have told her. The fact that she was an equal worker, that he “loves” her, should really override other concerns.
I just can't agree with this. To be honest it seems to me his greed is greater than his love.
And that's a very serious and saddening thing for her to think about.
I think he and I view animals much differently, and I can understand that. My concern is that I’m the only one putting in effort, and that he seems to have no sense of when something needs to be taken care of. Like I’m the one who set her first appointment with the vet and when I told him he’s like “oh, I didn’t even think of that”. And to me I can just hear 10 years in the future like “oh, I didn’t even think that we had to make dentist appointments for the kids”
Well, I moved in with my husband a month after meeting him and here we are 12 years later.
Honestly, everyone is different. How long has it been since he divorced? Have you flat out asked him if he sees this going anywhere?
Well it is interesting for once to see the genders reversed (as in, not a man pressuring the woman for a threesome), but my advice will be the same regardless.
First, don’t expect her to tell the truth. She can very easily lie, or partially lie. Then you’ll find out later that she did have someone in mind.
Secondly, does it really matter to you if she did think of someone else or not? I think the most important thing is to figure out what you want from a relationship, and what you’re comfortable with. I am monogamous and would never be comfortable with this. I notice you already said no, then gave in when she pestered you? Please consider if you really want to do this, or if you are just giving in so you don’t lose her.
No one is worth messing up your mental health. And you don’t need to compromise on these boundaries for someone else. Just figure out what you want, and if it’s not what she wants, you might not be compatible. Good luck.
This comment should be getting more attention
This is HYSTERICAL
I’M definitely sure anyone would be willing to try
But stay?!
With you?!
You’re definitely single because you can’t actually keep a relationship because of who you are (and that’s why you get triggered when you’re awesome friend gets into a relationship because you know it’s probably going to last so you try and find an excuse to sabotage it if you can)