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evelin111 Public Chat Channel
Date: November 28, 2022
AmateurPub
AmateurPub
evelin111 Public Chat Channel
Thank you for your kindness and your advice. My hyper fixation is that from my past trauma. I used to do this in the beginning portion of our relationship before I worked past some of the trauma. I haven’t had an episode in over a year and I felt confident that I was moving past them. This just makes me feel like I have fucked up again and I don’t want to go back to that.
Someone else said that he might not be honest with me when we do our “check ins” to make sure we’re not losing focus on one another or the other one isn’t getting something from the relationship, do you have any thoughts or ideas on how I can help him feel more comfortable with being honest and open? If I’ve already scared him into feeling like he has to walk on eggshells how do I properly let him know it’s safe to be open? I never wanted to make him feel like that, I wanted to be better than his past relationships.
Revenge porn is a crime and carries legal repercussions like hot jail time. Multiple months up to 10 years as well as a large fine. Since he sent the videos without her approval then it qualifies. Go to the police as soon as possible along with evidence. Get Justice for this crime. Might make you feel better if her ex is behind bars for a while. It’s a serious crime.
I lived this for 15 years, until his mom passed away. It is hell. Don’t do this to yourself. Unless she is already in poor health and won’t continue to damage your relationship for years, you will always play second fiddle and it will suck. Mine moved her in with us for about five years. You’re still a very young woman and deserve to find someone who will always value to first and most.
Okay, so let never say anything to people so they never see what can be wrong with them, in all cases there's no signs this person is diagnosed, seeing someone or trying to do something with themselves they just tried finding excuses. I've been there trust me. I disgusted my own mother, previous partners from me because I spiraled into a deep depression and wasn't willing to do anything about it. Our mental health is our responsibility not our partners
Listen- this girl is gone. You need to move on.
Get off social media with her. Social media is mostly toxic.
Focus on YOU. You know you fucked up with this relationship and you want to be better.
Personal growth is amazing!!!
You can change 100% but you need to do it for yourself!!
Reddit loves to rag how every relationship is doomed. As someone who has been in various monogamous and non-monogamous relationships, here's what you need to do if you want to make things work with your husband:
You do what he asks and close the relationship. It might nome come across as exactly fair being that he started it, and it is pretty shitty that he likely would not feel the way he does now if his side relationship had been as successful as yours. These things are true!
But! He is your husband the guy you promised to God and presumably a shit ton of people you would choose over anyone else. In a marriage you need to continue to make that same choice from time to time. Non-monogamy doesn't have to be an all or nothing thing. It can be a sometimes thing. If one of you doesn't feel secure about it anymore, for any reason, you need to take a pause and work through that.
Your side guys is just that – your side guy. He isn't the guy you married and you need to remember that. Your husband is your primary partner and therefore that relationship comes first. End things with your side guy (maybe not forever but you also should make peace with maybe yes forever) and work on rebuilding with the husband. Have some serious conversations about what he wanted out of this, what he wanted for you out of this, and what can make him more secure in the relationship. Maybe down the road y'all can try this again.
But I am telling you with all certainty your marriage is doomed if you don't choose your husband. This is the risk you run when you open up a previously closed relationship. You need to consider every thing that could happen. If you're okay losing your marriage then by all means, keep seeing the other guy. But this is not a situation where either of you get to have your cake and eat it too.
Good luck!
And his excuse? “But babe I told you this would happen”
And in fairness to him, he did. Will OP listen though?
I think more therapy is in order. This is obsessive behavior and you have to be pretty miserable.