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EvaHailey, 22 y.o.
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Date: November 17, 2022
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It seems the truth is not very popular around here
I’m so sorry this happened to you. I went through something similar and the first psychiatrist I saw told me that the first step to accepting what happened to me, is accepting that I might never fully know the whole story.
However, that does not mean you should just graze over your memory of saying no. What you explained here was rape. Please, please, please see a therapist if you can. Your university may provide mental health services.
If you want to chat further, I’m going through therapy for an SA right now. I’m no expert but I can at least lend an ear until you get more help.
Ok….do you want the petty answer or the reasonable one? Because I got both.
Call in for a welfare check on him. He’s most likely bluffing and using it as a manipulation tactic. Change your bank accounts and block his number. I would also keep a record of every threat he makes against you.
I’m sorry you wasted so much of your life with this bastard! But give yourself a pad on the back because you’ve already done the toughest part which is moving out! You’re brave! You’ll get through this.
The earliest one they used it for was that a team was stuck on a planet orbiting a blackhole and the effect through the gate, I think it was one of the first 5 or 6 in series 1. Maybe the same writers on those and Interstellar?
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Unresolved trauma =/= a free pass to be a selfish asshole.
She is not your fucking experiment. You don’t get to figure your shit out with her without being upfront and saying “I don’t know if I feel the same way”. She didn’t consent to this.
Stop deflecting and trying to excuse or even blame your girlfriend (I saw you saying she has trauma too and THATS what’s causing issues, dickhead.) you fucked up here mate. Tell her fucking yesterday, break things off, say you knew this might happen when you started this relationship and let her make an informed decision about whether or not she wants to even interact with someone who put their experimentation over her feelings.
Hoo boy. Let it go.
So I am the sibling that lives abroad. If my parents were terminal and I wasn't told, they would steal the little time that I have left to spend time with my parent.
I can understand that your world is in thousand pieces ATM, and I assume that you just want to protect your family from feeling all these horrible feelings that you are feeling now.
But the question is if they can really be protected? Putting it harshly (sorry about this), he will die in the end either way, you cannot protect them from that. While them knowing will bring them the pain earlier, like for you, it also gives them a chance to say goodbye. To resolve any unresolved issues.
I saw in a Dutch program about young people with terminal illnesses, this 30 year old guy that build his own coffin with his friends. They all cried a lot, but to not deny the reality but embrace it and do the best out of it seemed to help them. Another one “married” her best friend because she know she won't have time to do that properly, but she wanted the experience of a “wedding”.
Let them know, so that they don't wait too long with doing all the things that they plan to do. Do all the things with your father which you have always wanted to do.
Honestly I think she needs therapy. She is clearly grappling with her sexuality, and not in a healthy way. Her rapid onset of homophobia may well be a symptom of her feeling guilty that she finds women attractive while married to you. She needs someone who is above your or reddits pay grade to help her come to terms with her sexuality.
Whatever you do, do NOT allow the person she goes to (or at least not the only one) to be a church pastor. You have no idea what kind of bigoted beliefs they will have. She needs therapy, and she needs it bad.
i'm just confused why he took the energy to lie over detergent. that's weird af.
They should have knocked. They owe you cake. Happy birthday.
What exactly would you like advice on?
They should have knocked. They owe you cake. Happy birthday.
Say everything you’ve said here. Be open, & let her know your concerns while also understanding how she feels is important
thank you for your nice and thoughtful comment I really appreciate it! Yeah when I spoke to his mother, she said she started to be against therapy bc his sister tried it and the therapist told his sister that their mother was a narcissist.
WTF. NO. He can just pay you the money he owes you. You’re not his child, FFS, he doesn’t get to give you an allowance. He gets to pay back the money he sponged off of you.
As South Floridian, you aren't wrong at all.
Lol. I control myself.
Can you find fun, active things to do with your boyfriend?
Is he fit or into the gym? Find friends who want to work out or a gym/hiking/whatever activity you like meetup. Commit to fitness. You will get to where you want to be with effort.
I really appreciate your insight thank you
He's the love of your life the way my two beautiful daughters are the loves of my life. My wife is actually a partner and we manage our household together so that I don't have three daughters to take care of. Right now you have one son and no partner. I don't mean to diminish your experience, but you're 21 and this guy only seems like the love of your life because he's the only one you've had. Take a break and see the greener grass.
It's a bad sign how she will handle future bad stuff happening to people around her. Even you. He will she be there for you when something happens to you or also do this..
Caught cheating by who? Her friends certainly aren't going to rat her out if anything else occurred.
YTA: My wife makes more than me. Food and things we enjoy together we split 50/50, but she pays the mortgage and I pay the utilities. That about covers the share difference.
Oh man, Scottsdale is off the wall pricey, lucky if you can even afford an apartment there, tons of nice restaurants though.. Have you tried the Pink Pony down town, awesome food if you're into that sort of comfort food. 🙂
Good for you. I can tell you the guy on the phone is bad news for you.
Keep off the alcohol for yourself.
Now her, she no longer says I love you, you marrage in on hold, and she goes to sleep with a guy that disrespects you in front of her. NO, this is not ok. You deserve more than that bro.
I suggest getting some counseling to help yourself and see that you are worth so much more than this. Shut off the phone and internet, and tell her its time to talk this out. I suggest you move on but Im not living your life. I just think you deserve someone who values you the same as you value them.
No matter how you choose, I do wish the world for you
I'm just here to see who falls for this super obvious, super idiotic debate-bait.
Just go and don’t make a big deal about it. He’s a dumb 20YO. He didn’t realize it would be a big deal to you because it’s not a big deal to him.
Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face.
Third times the charm
I don't know what she wants. I just know from her behavior she doesn't want to let you know what it is.
Maybe she wants a baby.
Maybe she wants a younger trophy boyfriend to prove she's still hip.
Or maybe she wants someone she can control and manipulate because she can't stand the idea of having a partner that has enough experience to stick up for himself.
Only she can say for sure. But like I said, she doesn't seem to want to do that.
My advice is to just steer clear of her. And if she's a professor or someone else that could affect your grades, ask your parents for advice on what to do next.
I hate to say it but you two got together when you both were super young. It wouldn't be the first time that a married woman feels like that she's matured or grown out of her relationship, after spending most of her experimental / partying years with you.