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Date: November 8, 2022
AmateurPub
Gross. Now I feel really gross. He said he was never attracted to her but now I don’t believe anything he says.
He tried to trap you. So glad you didn't take the bait and got away from him.
I’m bringing her some sweets that we don’t have in our country, but I will arrive a little before midnight, so flowers are not really an option.
*Sigh*
Have you thought about confronting your mom? After all it is HER relationship with your dad and not yours.
she hates how loud they are and it just generally annoys her
She's given her feedback. Don't force it.
If your music sucks her behaviour isn't unreasonable. Just because you create something doesn't mean your partner needs to fangirl all over it just so you feel supported.
Artists have a tendency to surround themselves with yesmen. The “I'm with the band” types. Your girl isn't doing that, which could actually be a good thing. She loves you for you, not your success. She could be saving you from potential embarrassment if you're not a good producer. Get some external feedback from an impartial source.
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Thank you. I appreciate you. He wants to sit down and tell me everything. I wanted screenshots of convos and he deleted everything. The messages would have given me the true information.
It feels like that yes but he thinks we are still adjusting to living together
I don't want to alarm you, but he might not stopped with just his friend. Does he subscribe to any Reddit subs? Does he have a username here? I don't advocate for breaching anyones privacy, but he has already stomped on your boundaries and I'd have a look through his phone.
I haven't seen anything prevalant that suggests that if you get turned down for your kink/fantasy that you would turn to something else. In the subs I partake in, most guys that get turned down just fade off into oblivion. Right now, this is like a drug for him, an addiction. And it's skewing his better judgement.
2 completely different fetishes/scenarios. Most guys in this ls have zero interest in being with anyone but their wife. Most couples that on-line the lifestyle use it as an extension to spice up their sex life, something they can do together(sounds weird I know) . That wouldn't be a huge concern of mine, him getting with someone else.
TMI, but….we do this so my wife can experience and online life and I'm so happy she can and I'm thrilled when she has great experiences. I haven't touched anyone but my wife in 40 years, and I won't. If my wife didn't want to do it or continue to do it, we would be done, no questions asked. Conversley, I think your husband wants you to be his personal porn star. It's all about him, not about you.
There are others in the community with a lot more experience than us that may have more input, but that is my experience. I would minimum have your husband go to counseling with you.
Anyone threatening suicide to keep you is being abusive. To me, that’s the number one reason to leave her.
“I'm too upset to cook right now. If you're hungry, you'll need to find something to eat for yourself tonight”. Easy peasy.
Your mom is being childish and needs to grow up. Move in with your boyfriend and put this nonsense behind you. Your mom/fundamentalism have oppressed you for 30 years – time to move on.
Make it right?
She asked, and asked and asked you to open up about your life, even though you said no, didn’t want to, and told her it was horrible.
You needed support, and she has basically shunned you.
You leave her ASAP.
If you on-line together and it’s under your name, pick up her stuff, and throw it outside. If it’s under her name, or under both names, just pack and leave as soon as you can.
So you still giving nonsense answers?
Why not just realise you have no leverage, minimal mental stability and be grateful he is still with you.
Don't ask questions you don't want answers for.
Scary but better than being treated like the maid.
How did those conversations go? How does he react when you call him on not actually doing the nice things? Have you actually confronted him or have you just gently hinted, hoping he'll realise it himself? You come across to me as very hesitant and avoidant, and if you want to confront him,you need to actually do it, not just hope he'll confront himself and change.
You need to change your behaviour. If he offers money, cash it in before booking stuff or canceling a shift. Explain to him clearly why. When he says it's the nice thing to do, you scoff and point out that he needs to actually do them.
He might be a jerk trying to appear nicer than he is by future-faking about paying your expenses, but he could also be a scatter-brain who would actually pay if you reminded him, when it was time to pay.
I wasn’t seeking a therapist but to just ignore me as someone who claimed to care about me, I find it odd. I’m also getting help with this which I’ve also told him.
Since when does cooking equate to serving men? Doing all the chores in the household dispite both of them working and having similar free time can be called that.
Yeah, out of those three options only the first one is actually doable, and it's the one where she, again, sacrifices her life for something he has decided he wants, but doesn't actually give a sh*t about when he would actually have to step up and take care of it himself.
Abortion isn't possible for her any longer (at least not in her own country), and he would have to agree with an adoption, which he said he won't.
The only way for any of those options to work would be if they are actually very wealthy and she accepts that he will end up divorcing her, in which case she could afford to have an abortion somewhere else (though after 24 weeks and counting even that option is on a fast timer), or if she could somehow force him to agree to the adoption, which would also end up in him divorcing her.
Thanks for the kind response.
My ex-wife wouldn't sign divorce papers unless I said we can still be friends… I even threw in we may get back together one day but for now we need a break … Never reached out to her again ..living my best life since.
Wtf are you talking about? My wife found 3 half-siblings she didn’t know about. I found a cousin I didn’t know about. It matched my first cousin perfectly among others that I did. Just bc people are doing it for fun doesn’t mean it’s some bullshit carnival game.
If your ex doesn’t know you are dating you are better off telling him before he finds out from someone
I think you're over thinking this a bit. You said yourself, you both protray yourselves as roommates on-line with no indication on relationship status. So most people are going to assume single and straight since that's the “socially acceptable default” at this point.
I understand being uncomfortable with it, but unfortunately it's just a thing right now. Guys can be horny bastards, and they'll push limits like it seems they are. Your girlfriend is admitted mostly straight, so maybe she's enjoying the chance to have a conversation around straight sexuality for a bit? Doesn't mean she is into the guy per say, just taking the opportunity, if that makes sense?
Bottom line, your feelings are valid, and I'd say just try and relax and enjoy all the positives for now.
You do realise how unhealthy it is that you’ve both cut out friends just to please each other? That’s not normal. Never cut friends out if there’s no reason too. People are allowed to be friends with members of the opposite sex.
She cheated on you. You are being an idiot by trying to justify her actions.
She will fuck someone else, be warned.
I am in therapy but I haven't brought this up to my therapist yet so I will at my next appointment. I've brought up my paranoia to my boyfriend before and he's always said he will try and reassure me which helps. however, carbine is right in that the more and more i bring it up, the more it does sow doubt in his mind and it does start to bother him. It causes stress on both of us because i'm feeling the way I am through no fault of his, yet he is constantly having to reassure me. He is willing to do that however at some point its my responsibility to curb the paranoia and not rely on him for that reassurance.
I hate to say it but you two got together when you both were super young. It wouldn't be the first time that a married woman feels like that she's matured or grown out of her relationship, after spending most of her experimental / partying years with you.
Seriously, how do you think he would feel if she took a tiny sausage and was like “haha I'm so bad at making sausage reminds me of ur small penis!!!”