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make my ass really red! [Multi Goal]
Date: November 12, 2022
AmateurPub
AmateurPub
make my ass really red! [Multi Goal]
I am not even sure after the paternity test I would still believe nothing happened.
You have just given your BF every reason to distrust you with your actions with another guy and I don't even think that is salvageable even after a paternity test.
I would literally never trust you again no matter the situation we were in.
You need to grow up a lot; maybe your youth makes you naive to what a relationship and boundaries are but this may end up being a seriously hot lesson for you.
You better hope your BF can actually resolve the trust issues he is going to have for you regardless of the outcome of the test.
Lord. It’s a throwaway comment. One that I’m sure people would just laugh and move along. I also find people I work with attractive. I have eyes. Doesn’t mean I’m sleeping with them.
Your gf is insecure and clearly will fly off the handle over something small. Not a relationship I would stay in personally
I promise you he’s not hurt lol he laughed about it and thankfully has more emotional intelligence than most commenters here and realized I wasn’t calling HIM a pedophile but rather his mustache pedophile-esque. I didn’t post this on AITA lol.
I want to add something, first of all i live in the UK where its legal, secondly I’m not in school, I’m in college so he isnt dating someone in high school. I appreciate your opinion and i understand/assumed thats what most people think but i guess i posted this cause i wanted to know if there were any other opinions
First, let's look at what happened. You told him one thing, he did another. Then this happened:
I told him she should’ve calmed down first
This is a classic “I told you so” and my guess is that you have a habit of using it. There is nothing helpful about an “I told you so” and if you do it often enough, it will build up a lot of anger and resentment. Nobody wants to be told that they are wrong all the time.
In this particular case, you told him he was wrong at the moment that he was in pain. So you attacked him at the very moment that he could have used sympathy, which is why he probably “lost it.”
Okay, now let's talk about your relationship. From a psychological perspective, it is unhealthy (but most relationships have room for improvement, so this shouldn't be a surprise). Your husband is the passive-aggressive type, and you are more of the aggressive type, which leads to an the usual drama.
There are a couple of recommendations
1) Ensure some kind of “conflict follow up” (if there isn't any). You say that both of you need your space for awhile after you get angry, but when your calm down again you need to go back to your partner and say ” this is how I felt when this happened.” The point is not to accuse the other of doing something wrong, nor are you asking for a change of behavior. You are communicating and being vulnerable with your spouse. Unfortunately, the normal reaction to such communication is to become defensive or get into “fix it mode” and this must be avoided.
2) You are uncomfortable with your husband being angry. (Your husband appears to be worse about this, but you have this issue as well.) It may not seem important, but it's actually very important. What is happening is that when your husband withdraws from you, you feel that this is reflection on you. In other words, you are connecting your self-worth to your husband's happiness.
All of this results in your husband not feeling loved when he is angry and he feels like a bad person for being angry. He also feels that he is conditionally loved because you (subconsciously) pull your love away from him when he is angry.
At the subconscious level, you communicate to your spouse that he should not be angry and that you love him conditionally (and this is something that is very painful to a partner). Of course, both you and your husband have similar patterns here, but you can't change another person, you can only with on yourself. So, you've got some things to think about here.
This relationship is definitely going to work, I’d bet my life on it
I understand your concerns completely. I've actually dumped guys I was interested in because I didn't like the way they treated people they're not interested in or those they think are below them.
Your step dad should realize what he did and that he is not your father. And your mom suggesting any different is ridiculous. This is obviously just to weaponize your marriage to hurt your father.