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Emilia, 22 y.o.
Location: From Heaven ))
Room subject: striptease hard and lick nipples to each other [355 tokens remaining]
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Date: November 4, 2022
Sorry dear, I also have been hanging around hoping he’d care but it looks like they really don’t
That was a lovely big emotional bomb for him to drop on you
The fact that she waited to get married to suggest Open Marriage says it all. For her you're the safety net and she has already found the person she wants to explore intimacy with.
The thought of opening the marriage with a specific person doesn't just pop up randomly one day, there's a lot more that she hasn't told you about. She wants to keep you around while she can ensure that her AP is someone she wants to persuade the relationship with.
I can confirm you that the things will not be great for you going forward, if you'll open the relationship, you'll be the second option in your own marriage and if you don't then there are high chances that she'll explore the relationship with that guy behind your back and even if she didn't (which I don't believe), she'll resent you for stopping her. Best course of action will be to end the marriage so that you can find someone that prefers monogamy and she can explore herself.
If you don't want an open relationship, then that should be where the conversation ends. Polyamory is a two way street, not a get out of jail free card for cheating.
If she resents you for setting this perfectly reasonable boundary for yourself, that speaks to bigger issues in her character. Someone who loves you wouldn't try to convince you to do something you're against.
Appropriate or not, crossing these tiny lines can make something that wasn't a connection into a connection. Same with men messaging other women even just with funny content or vice versa. When I'm in a committed relationship, I have the mindset of never doing or saying something that I can't do or say around my boyfriend. The dancing wouldn't bother me so much if it wasn't for the day spent together added on top. Nobody ever puts themselves in the other person's shoes and it's sad.
Its a kind of horrible part of human nature.
It's not unusual for an illiterate adult to have family/friends who have some kind of a vested interest in feeling superior to that person or having that person rely on them/be at a disadvantage in life.
Often its subconscious, the family member may say they are supportive of the illiterate person learning to read but then goes out of their way to sabotage it with stuff like scheduling childcare duties or “borrowing” the car during lesson times, or saying negative stuff like “I don't like the person you are becoming.”
By the looks of it ur account is new too….alittle sus
What did the note say?
Just tell her that her long term decisions should not be based on your opinions. You can get more detailed that you don’t want to move but I’m worried it might influence her decision
Oh and to add: this weekend I am at my parents because a old friend is throwing a party and invited me. She is 1,5 years younger then me. He laughed at me because I go to the party. He asked: why would you go if you haven't seen her for a long time? The reason why I dont see my friends is because I live! with him, away from my friends. I dont have any friends there where I live now. It was a very rude comment but I didnt say anything to it. He also called it a childrens party, forgetting about my age I think. All this stuff makes me feel bad, idk if I need to be mad at him or if he's right
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Remember, this isn't some kid the BF doesn't know that he would need to guess these things about. The BF is in a position to have a very clear idea of how athletic Jacob is.
Under no circumstances should someone who is “mostly a bench player” be getting an award for [gender] athlete of the year. That is an award for someone who reliably produces measurably outstanding results, someone who the coach wants on the field at all times.
And here's the thing. I'm pretty sure Jacob knows this. He knows that there are players who are better than him. He knows he got an award he didn't earn. Can't imagine he feels good about it.
This crap is not how we end transphobia; this is how you make it worse.
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He might not have meant what he said in the first place OR he's not being mindful to make the conscience effort needed for change (old habits die hard as the saying goes). Regardless, It sounds like he needs notification that he's not living up to his end of the bargain. The sooner he knows this the better.
I don’t think it’s worth it. Especially considering the fact I barely talked to them. I feel like he just wants the security of knowing I won’t be able to talk to them anymore.
I don’t think he would enforce it on all of my friends, he never had a problem with female friends, it’s truly only been male friends which is why it’s a tough situation for me because it’s hard for me to view him as a toxic person when he only has a problem with males
Sounds like your values are not compartible. This will not last probably. Values are the most important thing for long lasting relationships, well more important than shared interests.
Your mrs is a nutta. Run.
If his male ego tells him that men don't communicate and have feelings, when he's got examples of the problems that causes (not to mention the actual feelings), that's his problem.
The main for you is to realize that you tried to correct the issue and he ignored it until the relationship was over.
I know but I didn’t want to be jealous. When I was with her I had the utmost respect for her. I knew she was faithful without a doubt. But she offered everyone at the office to sleep over that night and it ended up being just the one guy. Who was her best friend at work. Her mother and I were close friends throughout the relationship(worked in similar fields). I reached out to her and she said it was perfectly fine to do. And I told the mom. I had driven 500 miles to see her. Flown her around the country to see me. Surprised her. Was there for her always and she couldn’t give me a call?!?
If you literally have to lock your partners genitals in a cage to control their behavior*, then the relationship should be over.
*Not kink shaming, if both partners are into that, it's good. But in this (likely fake) story the cage isn't a kink, it's a controlling punishment.
she won’t even acknowledge how she acted
Unless she's willing to tell you why she was angry then you're at an impasse.
“who'd you'd leave with” sounds like a drunken response to insecurities. Did you separate for any period of time that she could be like “he's upstairs fucking someone”? Does she have a past of getting cheated on? Or any other insecurities?
And that's ignoring the fact that if this is involving alcohol and she's driving… but I won't comment on that part of the story.
You may be in the wrong for getting angry at baseless accusations – but not unreasonably so, from the sounds of it.
Sounds like somethings going on and if you two can't communicate about it? It's going to fester and spread like cancer. Might as well fight it out now to get it fixed now – or break up now and get it over with. If you can't get an honest answer about why she was mad? can't fix it if you don't know.
It’s much easier to cancel a wedding than it is to get a divorce.
First I think this is a wonderful idea. I have several tattoos myself and think those ones are gorgeous! I thought of getting one myself, but have a clavicle tattoo that I’m getting covered instead. Who knows? I may still decide to do it.
Second, your bf is a controlling ass. You have every right to do as you please and he isn’t entitled to tell you otherwise. Tattooing over SH scars is extremely therapeutic, and as someone who works in mental health, I highly suggest it.
I just got a new tattoo a few weeks ago, didn’t even tell my bf I was getting it. I also had breast augmentation last year, also didn’t tell him until after the fact. I had been planning it for a very long time and finally had the money to do it so I just ran with it. Guess what? My bf didn’t even bat an eye. Told me whatever made me happy and he loved me no matter what. In fact, he laughed about the fact that I didn’t even tell him about the surgery. I told him the night before I was having a procedure done, he thought I was getting a toe nail removed or something. Afterwards, when I told him that evening he immediately went out, bought me take out and a wedge pillow to sleep on for recovery.
The greatest thing about your body is that it’s YOURS and no one has the right to tell you what to do with it. If you want to go all out and cover yourself with tattoos and piercings that’s your prerogative. He doesn’t have to like it, but he’s not allowed to call you names and put you down for it.
Your ex sounds horrible, you did the right thing. Keep on being a good brother, people who can empathise with sister's situation can shove right off and go be miserable somewhere else.
he is a good man when he is not being abusive or grooming guys! /s
that's you, that's how you sound to sane people
You need to give her some money …if she has 15G then give her another 15G so she can move comfortably
An hour after we arrived at the party, I see Sarah talking to this other guy in a very flirty manner. But I think to myself that I must be overthinking this and they're probably just friends. Later Sarah comes back and while we're laughing and talking together, a girl approaches us and asks Sarah, whether I was her boyfriend. She scoffed and said “No, we're just Friends”. I, at this point, said, “What? I thought I was your boyfriend”. Then she says, “No you're not. We're just Friends”. I said, “what about all the dates, the holidays, the valentines day”. She said “we were just hanging out”.
At this point I was a little pissed so I asked the girl who asked us the question if she would like to dance. Then I have a great time with this girl and I end up going home with her.
I feel like there's a lot more going on here than just a dispute about dropping the “L” word. What does your virginity have to do with anything?
He sounds exhausting, and you're probably better off not wasting your time with him.
I guess I’m in the minority here but you can be friends with someone who makes bad choices and not condone their choices. Just explain to your wife that you love her and would never cheat on her, but after being friends with someone for twenty years you can’t just break that off because they made a mistake that doesn’t even involve you. Did she cheat with you? No? Well then what does it matter? Idk honestly, it’s controlling and it’s a red flag. Just because y’all are friends and she cheated on her husband doesn’t mean you will cheat or that she would even want to cheat with you. Your wife sounds kinda insecure in my opinion. Your friend made a horrible mistake and who knows how terrible she feels about it now? I’m sure she feels awful. I’ve never cheated on anyone but I can imagine. And I absolutely wouldn’t dump a friend because they cheated on their partner, I would try to help them through it or recommend they speak to a therapist. Your wife is taking it too personally. But when speaking to her about it you shouldn’t say things like “I understand why she did it” because if your wife is an overthinker she may take that and run with it. You’ve gotta choose your words more carefully when speaking to some people.
This sounds like death grip syndrome. How much do you masturbate?
It’s when you watch too much porn and masturbate by holding your penis in a death grip, hence the name.
She’s an amazing person, I swear, she just unconditionally loves him and he can do no wrong
Precisely this. OP, these two duplicitous people have been manipulating you this entire time to cosign their affair. Your friend is disgusting; please don't speak to her again. That woman is not someone who cares for you or ever had your best interests at heart. She always was, and still is, after your husband.
It is simply outrageous that both her and your husband are centering their own sadness and losses and, rather than taking a moment to reflect on their own actions. Your husband is turning this all around to place the blame on you when he put you in the impossible position of sitting you down with his emotional affair partner and blindsiding you into accepting a further physical affair that would be right under your nose.
They crushed you and now want to cry emotional damages?
We've all seen the coercive abuse that people talk about on these subreddits but the absolute shameless of this is gobsmacking. I'm genuinely stunned at the lack of remorse and unabashed victim blaming.
They can both go to hell.
Not the case at all…i’m sure the friend would love me there. My gf is the one who wants the super intentional time. It’s her preference for socializing – she even likes to hang out with her parents one on one like that. Not my thing – but it’s her.
I understand one person handling finances but you should at least have an idea of what kind of money you and your husband have available.
Ask to set a budget. If you earn/save X amount for a down payment then decide what you can comfortably afford for a monthly payment. Then you can start researching vehicles in that price range. Totally reasonable. While you’re at it sit down and discuss with your husband what your overall budget looks like. You shouldn’t be completely in the dark about money.
You’ve broken up 5 times in 7 months. How much time has that even had to be a good relationship? This dude is abusive. He’s going to punch you next and you’ll be trapped without any friends to help you.
You’ve been warned, you see the toxicity, but have chosen to believe some Twilight-inspired movie bullshit about how abusive men just need a little therapy and they’ll be Disney princes. That doesn’t happen. You want to know what happens to you? Watch movies like Enough or Sleeping with the Enemy. That’s your life.