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emi1y Public Chat Channel
Date: October 20, 2022
AmateurPub
AmateurPub
emi1y Public Chat Channel
It depends on the context,
But if it’s “babe” like he likes them that’s sus
Ok, you dont need to do it just because she wants. Now why do you think that is gay at all? You are still having sex with a women lol.
Give it a week and see what happens, it’s only a week. It is suspicious, it makes me think there may be something else at work. But with the information you have, no conclusions can be made, and no real harm can be done. If it’s someone else, there’s nothing you can do about it. And if she really just needs a few days to get her head straight, it’s best to just let her have it.
This person who was your friend for two years, you didn’t know enough about them?
Just break up. You don’t like them the way they wanna be liked.
You are replying to the wrong post then.
Oh honey, no. This is so not ok. Its fine for him to not like a hairstyle you choose, but it is not ok for him to treat you like shit for having a hairstyle he doesn't like.
Maybe make him a list of the things you don't like about him? Then send it to him, block him and never speak to him again.
???????????????
Breakups suck. We’ve all been there. But talking it through with them is going to get you nowhere. He’ll either A: try to justify himself and make you feel shitty or B: try to manipulate you into thinking it’s not what it looks like. Talking it through with them is a one-way ticket to being more miserable, one way or another.
You’ve got this!
To add to my other comment, this is in the very rare case where I would look at his phone. It's the best way to see if it's true or not. I would be straight up with him, let me see your phone, check for Tinder. If the app is deleted, re-download and messages should re-populate.
Don't get me wrong high likelihood of something bad but I would be absolutely devastated if my now wife, who I told right away “hey someone found me on bumble, it was weird I wasn't on it and deleted the profile properly this time” because they messaged me it, had just dropped me for something I wasn't being greasy about.
100% if he declines or says no or hides anything, or leaves the room with his phone, get tested and get gone.
You're giving him an opportunity to explain it away and gaslight you. Send him screenshots with a break up then block him. And definitely get tested ASAP
It’s over. You want kids and she doesn’t. You will either stay and resent her forever or break up. Don’t waste your life with someone you will end up regretting
Your therapist would probably be the first to tell you that anything prefaced with the word “anxious” isn't something you should just live with. The “attachment style” concept isn't etched in stone to where you can't work hard to change a toxic “attachment style”. If this guy is “avoidant” he could probably use some therapy too. But while you're working on yourself you have to not undermine this relationship by being a B all the time. If someone is “avoidant” the fastest way to drive them off is to be “hurtful”. So even if you have to fake it with him then go home and punch a pillow, you can't let your “anxiety attachment style” get all over him.
He might not be, easier to justify never putting up pictures or memories with partners if you have no social media.
Press charges. She’s psycho.
Lol you're just being stupid now
He won't change. He is very comfortable at the way things are now. Let him go back to smoking weed and playing video games and find yourself a man that is on your level.
I tend to agree
I appreciate it. I feel better today, just very frustrated. Thank you for your input ?
Awe.
Yeah so my story is that I left my job and moved across the country to be with him which resulted in my family completely disowning me. When I moved there he was talking about all the success he was having, working on a degree, promoting having a better life. Wanting to get married, the whole freaking nine yards, and after so many years of long distance I believed him. I lost my friends, my family, my savings, literally everything immediately gone— to move three thousand miles across the country to start over. I believed we would rebuild together and this would be my new life. I was just happy and excited to be with him. I got settled in this new place, started making friends, found a job, and then he said he wanted to move and be closer with his family. So again, I moved a second time just to start all over. No support network, no friends, didn’t know the area— a thousand more miles away.
He then started to change over time— he became lazy. Called in sick to work one day a week every week, dropped out of college, etc. He was content with his little dipshit minimum wage job. No ambition, didn’t want to do anything with himself. But I held out hoping it was just a moment of a mental health crisis or something. Except it just got worse. And worse. The man didn’t even feel like going outside anymore. He too a leave of absence from his work because he didn’t feel like going in anymore, I was promoted to a new job as a big break, a real job instead of working 2-3 jobs of whatever I could get. He started talking about maybe he would get fired eventually for his work performance. Suddenly he was ‘too depressed to do anything’ etc etc. basically the same story.
Eventually I told him to move back to his mother’s house… and the scene I experienced undid any amount of empathy I’d ever had for him. He didn’t care about me, he didn’t care about a future with me, he didn’t care about trying to put in effort— all he cared about was to have the capability of saying ‘well I have a girlfriend’ so then he could use that as evidence that he was worth something, instead of dealing with himself and his life. He tried every tactic in the book to try and prevent the breakup. Yelling, gaslighting, crying, suicide threat, hot life stories, begging, blaming, apologizing— just anything he thought might work, he simply cycled through to try and find any means possible to continue to say ‘at least I have a girlfriend’ — but it was such an emotional roller coaster that the years of time I put in to it along with the entire flood of emotional overload from going on this tactical emotionally shifting rollercoaster, I was just completely spent and exhausted. I did not care, I just wanted him gone. The end was pretty ridiculous and resulted in his manchild screaming and crying at me, crawling behind me on hands and knees… while I packed up his shit. Even looking back on it now, I think of how a complete massive circus it really was.
Anyway, long story short, I heard from him again and how he wanted to get back together— how he went back to college, is working an internship, is going to therapy, going back to the gym, being active again— I thought that was what I wanted, but to tell you the truth it just made me pissed because I felt like I sacrificed my entire life on him, without even flinching, and it took all of that time, pain, and loss , and that wasn’t enough for him to get it together— rather he only got it together because he wanted to be able to say at least I have a girlfriend, so he could save himself with his own self esteem. Not because he wanted to build a future or have a good life. It occurred to me how he was actually lying all those years he said he wanted a future, to plan things, to get married, to have kids. But that the only motivator he had was simply having the ability to say he was not single. I refused to redo the relationship, and he dropped all of those things again.
The thing is, yes I mourned the relationship for a bit— there was a lot of emotion involved. But it occurred to me how the entire time with him was the simultaneously the loneliest time of my life… that even while I was thousands of miles away from home, with no support network, no friends, no family, absolutely nothing— being lonely while alone is significantly less painful than being in a dead end relationship while alone. For example, I was so lonely in the relationship with him that every time I would see couples kiss or cuddle in movies or have amazing movie sex, it would make me break down and cry because I would never have that. Every work function where people brought their spouses and proudly introduced them… I was by myself, making up excuses of how he could not come because a work emergency. He was so isolated that I would get teased at work by people asking if he was real or if I just made him up.
(Continued)
Do you agree that it would be an unsettling comment to make to anyone? You said you would take them aside and talk to them, what kind of things would you say to him?
I agree that the context of a 6 year relationship was not added into my hypothetical scenario, but it almost makes it worse IMO that it is.
Saying something like that to a random stranger you just met doesn't hold as much weight as saying it to your partner does. Especially when we have had this conversation so many times, I keep expressing how gross that comment is, and he continues to use it. That's not only gross now, it's disrespectful. I'm not dragging him live as a rape apologist, I gave the situation from my perspective and I'm asking how others would have handled it because I'm not understanding what I should have done.
He knew I was into urban exploring and if he was really that upset by it he should have broken up with me 6 years ago. I haven't even gone exploring in 2 years, the topic came up because I was talking about how I missed it. And then he puts himself in a hypothetical situation where it's totally norm for him as a homeless man in an aban building to SA and kill me. (“Of course!”)
His intentions might have been good. He has valid concerns. I never made him feel bad for expressing his concern, but I have always gotten upset when he takes the conversation down this road of weird hypothetical scenarios that skeeve me out. That alone should be enough for me to be upset, let alone the fact that it's about me being raped and killed.
You have time to delete this
DEPENDATHOTAMUS! I'm dead. This is amazing. Clearly my first time seeing this version.