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Date: January 10, 2023
OP you have to be really clever about your lying. The first thing you need to do is come home crying, and say you had a fight and she broke up with you (Insinuating it’s because you won’t stand up to them). To make this believable, you will have to act miserable AND blame them for it to some extent. Like avoid them in the home, don’t really speak to them (bare minimum),be disengaged. Really sell it. Then you can slowly return to normal.
I lied all the time. I never got caught. My sister kid a few times, she got caught every time. Here are my tips:
keep your lies as close to reality as possible. For you, the lie is the truth.
how did you get caught in the past? Cover ALL those bases and then think of other ways you could’ve been caught and cover those bases too.
don’t see your gf in public in places you could bump into your parents or people they know. Go out of town or something.
make sure your friends know about the lie OR just lie to them too. If there’s anyone you know who is forgetful enough that they might let it slip, they should think you’ve broken up.
always have a backup, plan b, and a valid reason you can give if you get caught in any situation. For example, if your parents find out you were at gf’s house, you were just picking up some things you left there (and it took you this long because you couldn’t bare see her) or a pet she had who you loved was sick etc. Just have really good believable excuses for everything. They can be lies, but keep them close to the truth. If they are lies, back them up too!
always be contactable by your parents. One thing mine did was if they couldn’t reach me they would start calling my friends. So make sure your friends are briefed, but that’s your back up. Make sure your phone is near you so it doesn’t have to get to that.
don’t ‘relax’ about it a few months in, and remember your lies. This is something you have to sustain, and why you almost have to believe the lies/keep them minimal and have no loose ends.
don’t overexplain your lies to them, but have the backstory in mind in case they ask questions. For example you went to gf’s house to hangout and told your parents you were having dinner with friends somewhere. You should know how long it takes to get to that restaurant, how you ‘got’ there, what food you ate, who was there etc. And have a plan b for the backstory, by anticipating questions and already having answers (oh we were going to have dinner at X but then Ben had a stomachache and wanted to stay home so his mum got us pizza)
anticipate anticipate anticipate
if you need to hide things be really clever about jt. I was on the pill which my mother would have killed me for taking, so I hid the pills in the box that had my contact lenses came in, under a row of lenses containers. Even if they opened drawers and snooped, they would’ve never opened that.
Good luck. You’ll get good at this and hopefully it’ll become second nature. You’ll get more independent as you go through college, and maybe try to get them to pay to go somewhere far enough that you don’t have to live with them, that’s a game-changer.
Like if it's always been like this just dump him. You guys clearly aren't compatible
I can fucking pick'em, I know. Believe it or not her age hasn't ever been an issue in our relationship. We met as adults and our relationship was fine on both sides. Don't bring age into this when it's obviously not a problem
Yeah I get what your saying but I meet my best mate for lunch often aswell as he doesn’t have a job right now, but again it is only say one every couple weeks just to grab something to eat and chat and catch up I don’t actually have any other friends that are girls anymore as she doesn’t like them so I had to make the relationship work and distance myself
She’s trying to let you down more easily. If she didn’t miss you mon-Fri for the last several months, then nothing is going to change by not talking for a couple of weeks. She feels guilty about breaking up but ultimately it’s what she wants. You’ve already admitted the intimacy has been dying for awhile. I’m sure that she’d love to downgrade you to just a friendship but that isn’t practical. The longer y’all delay the inevitable, the more it will hurt and longer to take to heal. I would get to no contact much quicker. She’s got you high on ‘hopium’ after a few confusing words whereas her actions clearly show she’s been over this for awhile.
We had talked about it before and he said that he wouldn’t touch the other guy…