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Date: February 7, 2023
AmateurPub
AmateurPub
Pussy close up [391 tokens remaining]
There’s a lot of baggage to unpack here – and for the sake of your future relationships I hope you find a therapist to do it with.
You mean, when they were just dating, he followed his clear and communicated and planned professional ambitions, that she was made aware of AND did not have any effect on her personal finances. Years later after marriage and combined finances AND his financial success, she is angry with him for… following the plans he made and told her during their dating phase…? Because she is angry that he could have failed financially but instead has made them rich..?
It doesn’t make sense. She’s being super childish.
I can’t tell you if you’re any of those things.
I can tell you that counseling is very helpful. I am of the mind that every person can benefit from therapy.
I’m not going to tell you you’re abusive. Maybe you just feel deeply. Regardless, it doesn’t appear that you are intentionally being toxic.
I think it’s good that you are recognizing that you may be part of the problem.
But I also think you should have a conversation with your wife about the texts she sends, why she phrases things like that, why she thinks you were at risk of being abusive etc
It is entirely possible to be UNINTENTIONALLY toxic without realizing it, and I feel like it’s the case here.
The key part is self analysis (you’ve already started on that path) and taking a step back from the more emotional aspects etc
One big thing that helps us is when we get too emotional, my fiancé and I sometimes switch to text messages
It’s easier to read and reread a text message to make sure “hey, am I being mean? Is my frustration coming out too harshly right now?”
TLDR try not to be too incredibly hot on yourself, and make sure you’re aware of how things are.
I read my fiancé your thread before it was deleted and he is an EXTREMELY even tempered man, but even he said he would lose his temper if I were to falsely accuse him of abusiveness towards our children.
It’s a hurtful thing, and it’s easy to get emotional about things like that. You’re not necessarily a bad dad or bad person etc.
Just really do some self reflection (especially in therapy) to determine if it IS possible that you’ve been unintentionally toxic, and or to make strides towards fixing it.
Just send another text.
He didn't snap, he waited until he thought you were down enough that he could kick you without pushback. Start mysteriously disappearing your possessions out of your place, then for your final act of intrigue, pull a complete disappearing act, complete with a changed number and no way to contact you. How exciting! He can chase his tail with rage while you find a good therapist to work on repairing your self esteem and being healthy for future relationships.
It's not a coincidence he knows you didn't feel like you were enough for your dad and is playing to those same insecurities. He sounds like he's been consuming some media that encourages these mind games to gain control and break women down into eager to please robots. You're 22, and not a rehab center for fragile men who think masculinity equates to cruelty. Move on.
You deserve better. You can’t carry the whole relationship forever.
It would be better if you could do 50/50, but if the current situation is chafing her so much that she wants to break up, she can put up the money now and you can pay her back as your paychecks come in.
yeah, i don’t mean to victim blame, but how can a 15 year old go from 0-100 with someone who is kind and loving and warm and understanding? idk maybe i’m naive. i don’t have kids right now.