She made a conscious choice to not tell you that he was going. She downplayed it when you asked. She is not being open and honest with you, which is another was to say that she isn't truthful with you. If she hasn't already cheated on you, she will.
You should end it with her and be clear that the reason is not that he went, it is that she chose to not tell you that he went. And now you know that you cannot trust her.
Hitting your partner as retaliation for anything is absolutely never okay. If he lacks that understanding enough to not even know what he did wrong, he likely will do it again/lacks understanding of other abusive behaviors
So if you DO want something romantic, you need to end things with him. Also, he is in a relationship, I don't care if it's dead, that right there is enough reason to end this. Don't settle for anything less than someone that can fully commit to you.
Didn't even try. Just sent her that lame ass text after, probably hearing a rumour. Or not enough balls to break it off. Sounds like the kinda guy to bring his mom on first date, to pay for his food.
you're already venting to internet strangers about your problem cos your desperate. When she starts her “solo” travel, you're anxiety will only get worse.
You are not compatible, at least for now. Let go, you're too young to be hung up in this one relationship.
If he wanted to, he would. I know it’s harsh, but he is making choices not to put in the effort.
You have made it very clear that you are feeling neglected, and would like to spend more quality time with him…so he went to work on his week off? Before going away on a guy’s trip?
Go with your gut, love. You shouldn’t be lonely in a relationship. Asking for communication and quality time is the bare minimum, you’re not asking for too much.
I needed his help to look at my dog to make sure she wasn’t bit since all I had done was carry her upstairs and I needed to go down and grab their contact info
It's pretty common in Military culture and it's never bothered me. My Husband had a “tour wife” while he was on deployment. She is a fantastic girl and we're friends now. We met when they got back. I think it's all about trust and how well you know your Partner. It can be harmless or it can be weird. My husband doesn't hide things from me and I got to meet her right away so I never had any insecurity about it.
This is a classic story for a reason. There’s only two options here and everyone involves hurt. The easiest is to bare the hurt and get over your feelings for best friend. Unless she feels the same is different. But there’s no world where you amicably get together without being bad people. Unless you somehow got your gf’s blessing. Delete this post. Go to therapy.
Your right “Trouble with traditional roles. Lack of connection with spouse. Lack of support.” -women
“Lack of love and intimacy”-men Hey look at that all those reasons Reallyyy tie together and aren't inherently sexual:) without emotional intimacy sex won't save a relationship:) unless its a fwb friendship
I have weekends, which I usually need to cram with work so not really but I often use nights to wind down. I haven’t had much chance to do so since I’ve been on call with my gf/ having late night calls. Last week I scheduled one night after an exam to take an edible and told her about it beforehand just so I escape for the night but right after taking it my gf called me freaking about how if she needs me there I’d be too high to drive and made me feel awful about taking it. I offered to still come but she then said her dad wouldn’t want it. We then talked to about her mom for a couple hours while I was honestly very high.
This level of controlling behaviour is a huge red flag. It is not normal and it signifies than he my have abusive tendencies. He is not your keeper or your jailer, or your parent. I would get a new BF if I were you.
Ah a shower after coming home for work should be required. If anything he is not appreciative of the fact he even has a girlfriend to come home to. If my boyfriend tried to say sex must be guaranteed if he showers I’d be leaving his gross ass then and there.
You're the company you keep. The reasons you gave for your friend's cheating aren't justified. Divorce, for sure, but consider this: you just told your wife that cheating is justified. Those circumstances that you gave could happen to anybody in any relationship over any period of time. Would cheating be understandable in those scenarios too? You're being pretty unsupportive of your wife's values right now, among other things. Would she be justified in cheating? It's not just about your friend. You're basically telling your wife that cheating is OK actually if things aren't always great, but it literally never is.
Look, these are reasons she cheated on her husband, but they are not excuses. They do not give her a free pass to do it. The issues in her marriage should have been addressed with counseling, etc. If that didn't help, divorce should have been the next step. NOT cheating. Cheating is selfish. Your wife probably sees you justifying what your friend did as a red flag because you might use similar justifications to cheat on her. At the very least, I would limit interaction with your friend for a while.
So you're not wrong by wanting to distance yourself from a hurtful situation. You're entitled to not be friends with anyone for any reason. Regardless of how they feel about it.
However, at the same time she is also entitled to not want to be in a relationship with you. If she just does not view you romantically, then that's just that. Pressing her for answers and demanding explanations does make you come off as a bad guy, yes. People don't owe you their love because you decided to help them with their homework and such.
Stop being so pushy about it, and also don't confuse acts of friendships for acts of a boyfriend. Helping someone with their homework is something friends do too. Giving advice is something friends do too. If you blurred the lines, that's on you.
Talk about setting yourself on fire to keep warm. Leave the poor man alone. You wanted to be free and now you are. You can't be both “free” to eat at a dick buffet and have a serious relationship.
You are the issue here I'm afraid. I don't say this to be mean but you need some counciling from a therapist asap. Very self destructive behavior and a therapist and help you learn why and how to avoid it.
We’re in the same country for New Years
Dump the loser
She made a conscious choice to not tell you that he was going. She downplayed it when you asked. She is not being open and honest with you, which is another was to say that she isn't truthful with you. If she hasn't already cheated on you, she will.
You should end it with her and be clear that the reason is not that he went, it is that she chose to not tell you that he went. And now you know that you cannot trust her.
Dude get out of that relationship.
He sounds like a child
Hitting your partner as retaliation for anything is absolutely never okay. If he lacks that understanding enough to not even know what he did wrong, he likely will do it again/lacks understanding of other abusive behaviors
If you don't want to, then don't. It's also incredibly difficult for some couples to find a unicorn.
This is a quote from you:
Then said he's not looking for anything romantic
So if you DO want something romantic, you need to end things with him. Also, he is in a relationship, I don't care if it's dead, that right there is enough reason to end this. Don't settle for anything less than someone that can fully commit to you.
Didn't even try. Just sent her that lame ass text after, probably hearing a rumour. Or not enough balls to break it off. Sounds like the kinda guy to bring his mom on first date, to pay for his food.
you're already venting to internet strangers about your problem cos your desperate. When she starts her “solo” travel, you're anxiety will only get worse.
You are not compatible, at least for now. Let go, you're too young to be hung up in this one relationship.
You're 22! Don't undergo a major surgery to appease some guy who will probably not even still be your bf by the time you turn 30. He's gross.
If he wanted to, he would. I know it’s harsh, but he is making choices not to put in the effort.
You have made it very clear that you are feeling neglected, and would like to spend more quality time with him…so he went to work on his week off? Before going away on a guy’s trip?
Go with your gut, love. You shouldn’t be lonely in a relationship. Asking for communication and quality time is the bare minimum, you’re not asking for too much.
I needed his help to look at my dog to make sure she wasn’t bit since all I had done was carry her upstairs and I needed to go down and grab their contact info
It's pretty common in Military culture and it's never bothered me. My Husband had a “tour wife” while he was on deployment. She is a fantastic girl and we're friends now. We met when they got back. I think it's all about trust and how well you know your Partner. It can be harmless or it can be weird. My husband doesn't hide things from me and I got to meet her right away so I never had any insecurity about it.
This is a classic story for a reason. There’s only two options here and everyone involves hurt. The easiest is to bare the hurt and get over your feelings for best friend. Unless she feels the same is different. But there’s no world where you amicably get together without being bad people. Unless you somehow got your gf’s blessing. Delete this post. Go to therapy.
Your right “Trouble with traditional roles. Lack of connection with spouse. Lack of support.” -women
“Lack of love and intimacy”-men Hey look at that all those reasons Reallyyy tie together and aren't inherently sexual:) without emotional intimacy sex won't save a relationship:) unless its a fwb friendship
I have weekends, which I usually need to cram with work so not really but I often use nights to wind down. I haven’t had much chance to do so since I’ve been on call with my gf/ having late night calls. Last week I scheduled one night after an exam to take an edible and told her about it beforehand just so I escape for the night but right after taking it my gf called me freaking about how if she needs me there I’d be too high to drive and made me feel awful about taking it. I offered to still come but she then said her dad wouldn’t want it. We then talked to about her mom for a couple hours while I was honestly very high.
This level of controlling behaviour is a huge red flag. It is not normal and it signifies than he my have abusive tendencies. He is not your keeper or your jailer, or your parent. I would get a new BF if I were you.
I’d pause those marriage aspirations cuz holy shit that’s a red flag if I’ve ever heard of one
Ah a shower after coming home for work should be required. If anything he is not appreciative of the fact he even has a girlfriend to come home to. If my boyfriend tried to say sex must be guaranteed if he showers I’d be leaving his gross ass then and there.
You're the company you keep. The reasons you gave for your friend's cheating aren't justified. Divorce, for sure, but consider this: you just told your wife that cheating is justified. Those circumstances that you gave could happen to anybody in any relationship over any period of time. Would cheating be understandable in those scenarios too? You're being pretty unsupportive of your wife's values right now, among other things. Would she be justified in cheating? It's not just about your friend. You're basically telling your wife that cheating is OK actually if things aren't always great, but it literally never is.
Look, these are reasons she cheated on her husband, but they are not excuses. They do not give her a free pass to do it. The issues in her marriage should have been addressed with counseling, etc. If that didn't help, divorce should have been the next step. NOT cheating. Cheating is selfish. Your wife probably sees you justifying what your friend did as a red flag because you might use similar justifications to cheat on her. At the very least, I would limit interaction with your friend for a while.
Have you had covid or otherwise been ill recently? My periods are also pretty regular but got delayed when I had covid.
So you're not wrong by wanting to distance yourself from a hurtful situation. You're entitled to not be friends with anyone for any reason. Regardless of how they feel about it.
However, at the same time she is also entitled to not want to be in a relationship with you. If she just does not view you romantically, then that's just that. Pressing her for answers and demanding explanations does make you come off as a bad guy, yes. People don't owe you their love because you decided to help them with their homework and such.
Stop being so pushy about it, and also don't confuse acts of friendships for acts of a boyfriend. Helping someone with their homework is something friends do too. Giving advice is something friends do too. If you blurred the lines, that's on you.
I have a ps4 and xbox series x. I put them away because of my priorities. Apparently you are not one of his
Otherwise she’s just using you for sex.
Talk about setting yourself on fire to keep warm. Leave the poor man alone. You wanted to be free and now you are. You can't be both “free” to eat at a dick buffet and have a serious relationship.
You are the issue here I'm afraid. I don't say this to be mean but you need some counciling from a therapist asap. Very self destructive behavior and a therapist and help you learn why and how to avoid it.
yeah 7 months and they’re engaged? can we address that instead?