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Date: October 29, 2022
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Reditt a lot of the times speaks before thinks.
In my opinion, the fact that someone so dear to you thinks you are egocentric etc etc, should trigger you. I've learned this lesson in my life a bit late as well, I wished my brain understood it earlier.
You should be the person that you aspire to be with. Reflect upon your actions, try to observe your behaviour as a third person and ask yourself, is it me or is it them? Don't try to find reasons why their opinions are wrong. While getting older one stiffens up, tends not to be spontaneous and loses the sense of originality. Everything must be predictable and with a low chance of failure. Get out of your comfort zone, be spontaneous, speak your thoughts like the redittors in your post and don't try to be political correct. Express your opinions raw, without sugar coating them.
The age gap means ape shit I wouldn't think much of it. Sure there are a few things that make it harder for this relationship to work out, but in the end what is the definition of right and wrong? Who decides what's good and what's bad for us? We always find the answer to that on our own, by making mistakes. I mean our parents always told us not to touch the candle light but we still did 🙂
But, most important of all: Talk to your partner. Each insecurity muss be treated as a common enemy in a relationship, it should be 2 ppl vs all problems.
From someone who was in a marriage at 19 – please end the relationship and find yourself girl! People say teens are the hardest but it's really your 20s and it's super important you take that time to learn about who you are and what you want as an adult. He will be fine. You're not responsible for him! Live you life.
This is definitely just a personal preference thing. If you don’t have the same values and it’s a deal breaker for you, then walk away.
cut if off now and move on with your life.
Holy moly ! It’s good that you didn’t let his abusive word get to you about your body ! He’s a joke ! Leave him or stay with him it’s all up to you but be prepared for the worst to come if you’re staying
You can check settings for what the emoji means. People can customize their emojis that pop up so it may not mean the same.
Go to settings (in Snapchat). Scroll down to “Additional Services” and hit “Manage”. Then find “Friend Emojis”. It will tell you what the emoji means. For instance, my customized emoji is a sun emoji that will show up if I message someone enough for Snapchat to consider them my “best friend”.
You can also download his data to see messages that he deleted. Go to settings. Scroll all the way to the bottom of “Account Actions”. Hit “My Data”. Then put in your account information. You need a computer to access the information. Snapchat will email you a ZIP file that has all the people added, all the messages sent, and dates messages were received.
He makes you sad
Unless OP takes her to court, her paying OP back is optional and she knows it.
Mimi was wrong. She knows she's wrong hence the tears and gaslighting. She sounds insecure about losing you
If you love your BF talk to him first before endong things and see if theres any way around it if not then maybe better to end things and be friends bilut id defo say talk first, some may say outright end things etc but i prefer giving communication a chance before hand
A more important question is why you're comfortable with staying in an uncomfortable situation? Why punish yourself?
You've told us nothing we need to know in order to help you.
What in heaven's name does 'an escalation to us could be discussed' mean?
Have you been intimate with one or both of them? Are you dating them individually or as a couple?
Most important, when you ask about joining them as a couple do you mean establishing a romantic relationship between the three of you, or do you just want a threesome?
Dump this guy
If they’ve not even got the decency to talk to you directly, instead choosing to weasel behind your back, then I think you know the answer.
You should be happy for her!
You told her before that she can go out too.. so now she's going out and enjoying it.
She went once to the bar and now you are pissed.. you want to leave her but you can't coz of kids, wow you are a great dad!
What about her resentment towards you? Did you make her happy you all those years you were going out?
Who is the hypocrite, you or her?
You're both unfit to be parents.
I've just broken up with her. This month is going to be painful
Last thing he posted was 2017. But that’s not my point.
He doesn’t actively like stuff or post anything or retweet anything, but he does go on the app here and there. Sometimes he’ll send me memes from the app.
My point is when he’s scrolling on Twitter looking at memes or whatever, he also has pictures of hot girls sucking dick with their pussies out popping up on his feed.
The contents of prenups are not to be dictated by one of the two parties. It is an agreement that both of you are happy with often reviewed by lawyers. Has this happened?
Yes he should be signing a prenup but it’s reasonable for him to have an input to it.
Yeah im not going to tone it down. Its not like im wearing my more spicy clothes around him anyway.
If she likes having the pill next to bed then maybe compromise by getting her one of those weekly pill boxes that have all the days with a separate lid. Then one day a week in the bathroom she (or you) can put 1 pill in each day. That way, she gets the convenience, and you don't have to worry about a pile of pills being dumped into her hand over the cat bowls.
Your problem here started before the inappropriate chats.
Your issue started with your gf going into a space where you weren’t welcome.
My husband and I were playing our first campaign and it was weekly. We were all pretty good about showing up (husband and I literally never missed a game).
Problem was that I started a job that completely conflicted with the schedule. I was dead tired during games and the dm got insulted that I was trying to keep myself awake by doing things between turns. (Think half an hour between turns)
Things were said between the DM and I. I was frankly only waiting until the current arc was over to bow out. But he decided to ask me to step away. I asked him politely to reconsider. He was firm. Ok.
In all honesty, I was relieved. DM was doing shady things and I was getting a feeling that the game wasn’t healthy anymore.
Next day he contacts my husband about what the schedule would look like. My husband basically lol, we are a package deal, if she isn’t welcome then I won’t be there.
That isn’t to say we don’t game separately, just that we never game with a group that excludes one or the other of us.
As to that feeling? DM lied and told everyone that I refused to return and that he hadn’t asked me to step away. I kindly sent the entire discord chat on to the group and blocked all of them.
Doing exactly what he wants isn't a compromise. It's him being a controlling ass.
You can’t fix this. This needs his willingness to go to therapy and do some deep introspection. This sounds like rejection sensitive dysphoria, but way way worse
Answering “is it worth it” is pretty difficult..
I'm someone who always tries to see the best in people. He's not a terrible person, he never degraded me – apart from now when he's avoiding having a more serious discussion with me after the first reunion following our first proper altercation.
To me, difficult conversations are a necessary part of building a more intimate relationship. It's how you build foundation. I wouldn't want to enter any close relationship with someone if they can't be vulnerable with me.
We've shared vulnerable conversations in the past, however whenever it comes to speaking on what's going on between us, it's a sensitive topic. It's like we care about one another, don't want to lose each other and dance around the subject because we know we both aren't in a place to fully commit to a deeper relationship involving proper expectations.
He has a lot of insecurities and he'd rather shut down than express his discomfort. That's why I've always made an effort to check in and make sure he feels secure expressing himself. I don't mind the space and would rather take things slow instead of rushing into something just because we've expressed our feelings for each other. There's still so much we have left to learn about each other and after getting out of a 5 year relationship a year ago, I don't want to enter into something more serious with someone unless I'm completely positive I can see a future with them.
Every relationship whether it's just beginning or in later stages will reach a point where there's something more to talk about beyond what happened during your day and what your favorite color or TV show is.
At the moment, him avoiding expressing his feelings feels cowardly to me, and if anything his behavior is a major turn off right now. I've always made an effort to create a safe space and validate his emotions. However, if he'd rather take the immature route and throw everything away then I guess there's nothing I can do.
Are you able to provide advice on how to approach the subject?
And see, this happened to a guy friend of mine. His gf tricked him and she got pg. They have a 16 yr old child together. I always thought it was fucked up, what she did. But this is a whole other level of weird, to force someone to carry a child. Omg.
I am actually laughing out loud lol
Bro, we can talk like men. Imagine having a sexless marriage. Why would you put up with that?
Of course its not everything but its too important to just live with. I do not believe you one second if you would tell me that you could thrive in a sexless marriage.
Boobs and genitals are not the same thing.
I know it’s not because of the abortion. I was basically over it the second it was done. I never wanted kids and will never want to experience childbirth so I over it pretty much immediately. He has cheated before but that’s something I have and am still currently working through but I don’t think that would be the reason for my thoughts either. I really have no idea where they’re coming from because we’ve been great and they just started like a week ago.
Don't be this guy bro. It was just a fart.
He snatched your girl so he could have a cute young girlfriend on the side.
We do but they all kind of chose his side and isolating from me also
That’s fair, I’ve never been in this long of a relationship before, but I just have no desire whatsoever. I haven’t been intimate with her in almost 4 months, and I don’t think that’ll change anytime soon. I think she’s pretty, but in the same way I think my friends are pretty. I’ve only ever been with men before her, and find myself missing those interactions, but I also don’t know if that’s because I’m not as into women as I thought or if it’s just because I have no other encounters with women to compare jt to
Communication is the only other option.
“Whenever I try to seduce you, you tell me to stop because it's stressing you out. But when I stop and wait for you to come to me, you begin to assume I'm no longer attracted to you. This dynamic is very confusing for me. I want to make you happy but genuinely don't know what to do. So what can I do?”
Poly person married to a monogamous person. She isn’t even trying to consider your feelings. It’s just cheating DATD with extra steps at this point
Hi, former abuse victim here: So you see the way she flipped that narrative on you, the minute you crossed her boundaries, even though she had already trampled several of yours?
That, my friend is the hallmark move of an emotional manipulator/narcissist.
Your boundaries aren't that big a deal, but apparently hers are sacred, and if you cross it there will be consequences.
Your feelings are trivial and its okay to mock you for having them, because of a particular way you sound, but her feelings are inviolable and if she gets hurt, she can leave.
You see the pattern there?
She is being disrespectful, demeaning, manipulative and abusive, all before breakfast.
Almost impressive really.
She even rewards herself for a game well-played by going out shopping!
I had an ex exactly like this that I suffered under for two years, so please please please take this advice to heart, before things get worse for you. (And they will)
You don't want to heal this relationship. You want to end this relationship.
As quickly and cleanly as possible, and it doesn't matter if you lose a few possessions along the way, the sooner you get this horrible person out of your life, the sooner you will feel free to be yourself again, and the happier and better your life will be.
no for some reason because i put spaces at the beginning of each paragraph it turned grayish? i noticed that to. i think reddit automatically does that because it senses that they’re paragraphs?? i don’t know. never seen it before
It’s not my job to make you believe. I got what I wanted from this post. (an advice from guys through DMs).
My husband decided to grow his beard out in Wayne Static kind of style. I hated it and tried to be nice about getting rid of it to no avail. I finally told him that I would no longer shave my pits or pubes until he trimmed his beard. That’s how serious I was. He trimmed. I hated having to resort to that measure, but I was desperate to get rid of that thing.
Your not overreacting, this is a legitimate relationship concern. Now does it spell the end of your future with him? No not necessarily, but it is very clear to me you both will have problems because he thinks it's ok and you don't.
Like I said it goes back to my original post, either you have to choose to live with it, or hope he magically gets over her, or the ex finally decides to cut him off. If it were me, I would have never gotten involved, but since you're already in it, do your due diligence and see if it is something you're willing to work with or not.
If he has other house, how come he hangs around alot at your house?..furthermore, he comes when YOU, his son is not around.
Also, Im talking about chatting via whatsapp, is he actively communicating with you as compared to your gf?
I suggest you confront your gf first ask her what is going on. Who starts the chat first?
I hope it was a stupidly timed extremely rasa joke and that it was prompted by his suffering. Initially I even hoped it would be him not knowing how to behave in the situation, but as you said, the silent treatment is even worse imo and I am thinking he’s probably just showing ho he really is as nothing has happened before that meant he couldn’t get what he wanted… in this case a bj….. I’m still frikking baffled he went there! A loving partner going through the loss of a child with you wouldn’t have sex on his mind or even think it seeing as his partner is recovering from not just the miscarriage – but surgery too.
I’m really hoping op is ok and that someone is able to go support her.
Your boyfriend manipulates you for nudes AND tries to control what you wear? GET OUT OF THIS RELATIONSHIP IT WILL ONLY GET WORSE FROM HERE.
Please, for real, break up with him and move on. He’s not a good person, he clearly has control and jealousy issues. You need to exit now while you still can.