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Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
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request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
Stay at home girlfriend who doesn't work or clean or cook can at least be justifiable if she's naked and puts out.
Yeah, I guess that could work for some people. At least short-term, I have a very hot time believing anyone would be happy with an arrangement like that as a lifelong kind of deal.
It's a hot pass from me either way, though. I can't imagine being in a long-term relationship that isn't built on mutual support, care and effort. To me having sex isn't a reward, it's a fun and intimate activity for couples to enjoy together. It's a mutually beneficial thing, not a transactional one-way reward. I personally want a partner, not a fuckable financial and emotional drain. To each their own though, I guess.
Yes you have to leave him now unfortunately! Might not be what you wanna hear and when you confront him he’ll claim he was worried and trying to keep you safe or some other such bullshit! But leave him. This is a very deep violation of privacy that was completely premeditated and planned to the point of literally buying it etc. There’s no way to build trust back after this. Leave him. Keep it short and sweet. Tell him he violated your privacy and you don’t want anything to do with him anymore then leave. Nothing he can say will make it ok.
You are in love with the idea of her and incredibly scared of being single. You don't love yourself if you put up with this type of treatment. There is no coming back. Your wife wants to live a single barfly life with hookups and also of course have stability with you. You deserve better and I can guarantee you that there are a lot of women who will appreciate what you bring to the table.
I had a GF who started to act the way that your wife was going out and being generally disruptive and evasive. No cheating tho. (Or at least I'm pretty sure no cheating but who ever knows for sure.) I ended things after a long relationship. Best decision I have ever made.
The joke isn’t about being abused, it’s about me being annoyed enough about the teasing to ask what I’ve gotten myself into, in a haha kind of way. And I never said the word abuse but I basically started describing it without realizing. I’ll watch my words more carefully next time. I often forget to have a filter with my husband because of our relationship, but sometimes it is necessary.
Well I thought that with my coke addicted bf until the day he punched me several times for refusing to drive him around looking for a dealer, all the while I was working for the police! Honestly, you never know when he will crack (pardon the pun). So you and that kid need to go NOW. You're mother is trying to save your lives!
This was me and my ex. We were together for like 8 years starting in high school. Then we broke up. Or specifically she broke up with me, but we stayed FWB’s. The reality was I was still in love with her and she still wanted the benefit of having me as her boyfriend without any commitment to me(such as monogamy). I eventually moved about 500 miles away to focus on my future, and then she moved to the other end of the country. She still would be emotionally abusive to me, even as I was in a new relationship. It took my new girlfriend to force me to finally block her to get that toxicity out of my life.
This arrangement won’t work. Either accept you guys are together and toxic, or cut the cord.
Bro she's wasian and I am a black dude with blue eyes. Like connect some dots here my guy. What other black dudes have blue eyes. Now I am lightskin but fucking hell what if this baby comes out black with blue eyes. Like the fuck am I supposed to do.
You’re correct. The drinking doesn’t happen in front of them though. She does it after they’re in bed or some place outside our house. We have always tried to keep the kids away from any issues. However they have recently begun noticing she’s in bad moods a lot lately and that’s been bothering me.
That alone is violating & disrespectful. Involving someone in a kink under innocuous pretense isn't cool.
i can now either compromise and deal with some of his quirks. Or that i can move out if i cant stand him watching me.
So a compromise is a middle ground between two people they are both comfortable with. What he gave you was an ultimatum that you can either do what he wants or leave. Also not cool.
Normally I’d agree with you but she’s tried calling and he doesn’t pick up. And I can’t imagine he would if his fiancée is around and he has recommitted to that relationship.
You’re correct that it’s selfish of you to feel this way. But it’s great that you’re recognizing it! Maybe let him know that you want to hear all about it when he gets back, but you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed and would rather wait to hear about it?
This is trauma. Realizing the deceit. Virtual hugs to you. Im glad you caught this when you did. Please don’t beat yourself up about the past, you couldn’t have known. Def work through this with a counselor.
You sound smart with all your degrees but man… you picked a horrible man. Girl, block delete and ?♀️ move on, this man and his whole family sounds crazy, you were interviewed by police for heavens sake. Move on!
Time to drop the weight sis. And I’m talking about the boyfriend not you. This is begging behavior and you don’t need that shit in your life. You’re naked as ever before and he’s projecting. Drop him and go have a very hot girl summer
I've known guys SAd by men and women, none of them reported and it's not just the homophobic culture, it's also the toxic masculinity and the belief that “men can't be raped”
Hello /u/Winter_Atmosphere19,
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Stay at home girlfriend who doesn't work or clean or cook can at least be justifiable if she's naked and puts out.
Yeah, I guess that could work for some people. At least short-term, I have a very hot time believing anyone would be happy with an arrangement like that as a lifelong kind of deal.
It's a hot pass from me either way, though. I can't imagine being in a long-term relationship that isn't built on mutual support, care and effort. To me having sex isn't a reward, it's a fun and intimate activity for couples to enjoy together. It's a mutually beneficial thing, not a transactional one-way reward. I personally want a partner, not a fuckable financial and emotional drain. To each their own though, I guess.
In today's pedobaiting trolling adventure, we have this entry
Can’t you just lie and say you tried?
No, no. He was clearly violated.
Yes you have to leave him now unfortunately! Might not be what you wanna hear and when you confront him he’ll claim he was worried and trying to keep you safe or some other such bullshit! But leave him. This is a very deep violation of privacy that was completely premeditated and planned to the point of literally buying it etc. There’s no way to build trust back after this. Leave him. Keep it short and sweet. Tell him he violated your privacy and you don’t want anything to do with him anymore then leave. Nothing he can say will make it ok.
I love this girl with all of my heart,
You are in love with the idea of her and incredibly scared of being single. You don't love yourself if you put up with this type of treatment. There is no coming back. Your wife wants to live a single barfly life with hookups and also of course have stability with you. You deserve better and I can guarantee you that there are a lot of women who will appreciate what you bring to the table.
I had a GF who started to act the way that your wife was going out and being generally disruptive and evasive. No cheating tho. (Or at least I'm pretty sure no cheating but who ever knows for sure.) I ended things after a long relationship. Best decision I have ever made.
The joke isn’t about being abused, it’s about me being annoyed enough about the teasing to ask what I’ve gotten myself into, in a haha kind of way. And I never said the word abuse but I basically started describing it without realizing. I’ll watch my words more carefully next time. I often forget to have a filter with my husband because of our relationship, but sometimes it is necessary.
I avoid bringing people problems that have no solutions. Just say you only see her as a friend and leave it alone.
At least this troll here made me laugh today.
Well I thought that with my coke addicted bf until the day he punched me several times for refusing to drive him around looking for a dealer, all the while I was working for the police! Honestly, you never know when he will crack (pardon the pun). So you and that kid need to go NOW. You're mother is trying to save your lives!
This was me and my ex. We were together for like 8 years starting in high school. Then we broke up. Or specifically she broke up with me, but we stayed FWB’s. The reality was I was still in love with her and she still wanted the benefit of having me as her boyfriend without any commitment to me(such as monogamy). I eventually moved about 500 miles away to focus on my future, and then she moved to the other end of the country. She still would be emotionally abusive to me, even as I was in a new relationship. It took my new girlfriend to force me to finally block her to get that toxicity out of my life.
This arrangement won’t work. Either accept you guys are together and toxic, or cut the cord.
Bro she's wasian and I am a black dude with blue eyes. Like connect some dots here my guy. What other black dudes have blue eyes. Now I am lightskin but fucking hell what if this baby comes out black with blue eyes. Like the fuck am I supposed to do.
You’re correct. The drinking doesn’t happen in front of them though. She does it after they’re in bed or some place outside our house. We have always tried to keep the kids away from any issues. However they have recently begun noticing she’s in bad moods a lot lately and that’s been bothering me.
Temporarily = she wants to fuck someone without feeling guilty.
She's not yours anymore man.
he didnt say because he knew i would hate it.
That alone is violating & disrespectful. Involving someone in a kink under innocuous pretense isn't cool.
i can now either compromise and deal with some of his quirks. Or that i can move out if i cant stand him watching me.
So a compromise is a middle ground between two people they are both comfortable with. What he gave you was an ultimatum that you can either do what he wants or leave. Also not cool.
Normally I’d agree with you but she’s tried calling and he doesn’t pick up. And I can’t imagine he would if his fiancée is around and he has recommitted to that relationship.
You’re correct that it’s selfish of you to feel this way. But it’s great that you’re recognizing it! Maybe let him know that you want to hear all about it when he gets back, but you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed and would rather wait to hear about it?
This is trauma. Realizing the deceit. Virtual hugs to you. Im glad you caught this when you did. Please don’t beat yourself up about the past, you couldn’t have known. Def work through this with a counselor.
Yes please help me
you are a piece of shit and predatory. you like hooking up with teenagers. you disgusting worm.
You sound smart with all your degrees but man… you picked a horrible man. Girl, block delete and ?♀️ move on, this man and his whole family sounds crazy, you were interviewed by police for heavens sake. Move on!
Thank you for the advice lovely I ended things 🙂
Time to drop the weight sis. And I’m talking about the boyfriend not you. This is begging behavior and you don’t need that shit in your life. You’re naked as ever before and he’s projecting. Drop him and go have a very hot girl summer
I've known guys SAd by men and women, none of them reported and it's not just the homophobic culture, it's also the toxic masculinity and the belief that “men can't be raped”