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Date: November 17, 2022
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I have cooperated with the venue to pass his information to the girl he almost assaulted, it is up to her whether or not she decides to press charges.
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Found OP's shitty boyfriend ☝️
“I just didn't want to look taller than my man”
You're hung up on what others think of your (as a couple) appearance. If you were really in love with him, you wouldn't care about how you guys LOOK together, you'd just be happy that he is a good man that you love and he treats you well.
Don't get married. Just…. DON'T
Fuck his feelings after what he just did. Bro isn't worth your worry. It's not ok to be like “yeah yeah ok, now get me off” after a serious conversation about mental health.
After 2.5 years, it is very bizarre she's not a factor in the house you're buying. If you don't know if you want to marry her by now, you probably should not keep dating her and wasting her time. I would be as upset as she is.
It is also creepy how you talk about the money – if you want kids and she is the one birthing them and raising them at home that is as valuable a contribution as the money you bring in.
She's expecting you to become a married team, where all assets are shared. This is not a bizarre expectation after 2.5 years.
You either need to forgive and move on or break up. Staying together just to continue making passive aggressive insulting comments doesn’t accomplish anything good for either of you. If you can’t get past it, end the relationship.
How is this supposed to help OP with the situation? lol
It is disrespectful of her to not acknowledge you here at all. Saying she wouldn't care if the roles were reversed is just hypothetical, because it isn't a fact today. Hence why she doesn't care right now. She doesn't care about your feelings here and is very immature about it. 6 years is a long time, so it wouldn't be a surprise if it turned out to be an emotional affair. He has turned to her for support and she might turn to him become feels needed. This is NOT any excuses. Both of them are jerks here. She is supposed to be your gf and he is supposed to be your friend. Confront them both.
TL;DR at the bottom.
I'm most likely to get downvoted into the deepest darkest corner of Purgatory for this, but what I am about to say comes from my personal viewpoint as a DV survivor:
You can't even imagine how many times I tried to get my first ex-husband to go to therapy so we could work out our issues. At the time, I would have done almost anything to fix our relationship. All he was interested in was finding new ways to continue to hurt me. I wanted that happy ever after that you still have a chance at having, the happy ever after that wasn't in my destiny.
You say both of you have gone to therapy. You say it has been what I would consider to be a long time since any abuse last occurred. You say both of you have put in the work to save the relationship, for it to become healthy (which could be compared to the Phoenix rising from the ashes). You say both of you have forgiven each other.
If you really want this relationship to stay healthy, you need to continue to put in the work. A part of that work will be in the form of forgiving yourself. There is a chance that your girlfriend feels the same way about her past actions/words, but she doesn't know how to express those feelings either.
However, don't let that forgiveness lead to complacency. Be vigilant, and if you see any signs of sliding back into old habits (by either of you), go back to therapy or end the relationship immediately.
It is very rare that abuse ends & the couple goes on to have a completely healthy relationship. Treasure every moment of healthy & do everything possible to maintain it. Good luck to you both.
TL;DR- Nearly everything said (paragraph talking about my first marriage still stands) in my comment is based on trusting that the OP is telling the truth in their post. If they were deceptive in any way, then I would revert back to the standard live response of “leave” and “don't look back”