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Date: November 20, 2022
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No and no? That was easy, next question please.
Cutting your ex wife out will set a bad example for your children with your current wife. Why would you want to show them that when relationships get tricky, you should just abandon that commitment? Your kids are not fully grown, and even if they are, you have a commitment to them. If she cannot understand this, how would that work out in your current situation? I’d suggest finding a couples counselor and having these discussions there. Your wife sounds like she is struggling with an emotional reaction, and having a neutral third party would likely reduce the chances of these conversations going sideways. This is not something you should cave into, as this is an incredibly controlling and inappropriate response from your current wife. What’s next? She doesn’t like how you interact with a friend, parent, etc, and you need to cut them loose also?
Why are you going out with a dude 3 years younger than you? Of course he's going to explore options knowing he can be dating girls younger than him.
A room?? That’s crazy oh my goodness. I genuinely have never seen any area where the rent is so expensive last option is sharing a room but I’m sure you’re not lying or anything. That’s awful for people
You're allowed to say no and tell her how you feel. If she can't accept how you feel and pressures you to accept, that may be a red flag and a sign she might not be good in the long run respecting more of your feelings
I think regardless, get tested. You can’t rely on him to tell you because he’ll spin the account in a different direction.
I would maybe say:
‘Hi NAME, after some thought, I think it’s best to separate. I received pictures of your updated tinder profile that shows you in your new home city. I’m hurt, disappointed, and heartbroken. I’m embarrassed that my friends found it but thankful they told me. I have no desire to stay in a relationship with someone who isn’t as committed as me and who will utilize dating apps while away from me. I wish you all the best in your new city. Please don’t contact me going forward.’
You cannot give him time to explain. He will say the profiles old, that a friend must’ve taken his photos and created the account, that someone else must be using his pictures to catfish people.
You know what it is. I’m so sorry you’ve discovered this.