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anal [Multi Goal]
Date: November 2, 2022
AmateurPub
AmateurPub
anal [Multi Goal]
I am not a swinger myself, but I am ethically nonmonogamous and know plenty of people who are swingers.
It sounds like your husband wanted some no strings attached sex with people he didn't intend to become emotionally close to. That's fine if that's what he wanted! However, it seems clear to me that you didn't want to do this in the first place, were pressured into it, and discovered that having a friend you consistently swing with at these parties and events made the whole situation a lot more fun for you.
Now that you are aware of this, the path forward is to communicate with your husband. “I know that you want to have sex with people you don't know very well without any emotional attachment, but in order for me to be comfortable with that, maintaining a regular swinging partner that I can connect and talk with at these events is something I've realized that I need. If this compromise isn't something you're okay with, I suggest we stop swinging altogether.”
Honestly, you probably should stop swinging, especially since this seems to have started as something you were doing against your will. The above is just some suggested verbiage I have for if this experience has made you realize that it is something that you want to keep doing. Best of luck!
Re-read my comment. Stop being ignorant.
You know self control and respect is still valid. If you can’t go at the very least 30 days without sex out of the respect and wish of your SO of 3 years in OPs case, you’re pretty fucking pathetic.
Sure shows you care soooo much.
Apparently you were wrong about them being separated, destroyed his reputation, and now he is getting back at you. You made your bed ….
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I’m starting to see why she cheated.
There's no therapists nearby
I make considerably more than my fiancé, but we’re putting our joint finances towards our wedding. I contribute more money towards our expenses, but it’s about us as a team. We’re organising everything ourselves too. But we’re doing it mostly together.
It does seem as though your family are looking out for you, this would be a red flag coming from any partner.
Your wife is not ok. She needs therapy for her loss. People die. It happens. We all lost someone important as a kid.
Your WIFE is the one that's going to give unhealthy food issues to your kid.
I promise you, and anyone reading this, that your “soulmate” is not an alcoholic with mental health issues.
You’ve been through a lot. What you are experiencing is a response to the stresses and trauma of being married to an alcoholic with mental health issues. I strongly suggest therapy and looking into Codependency.
What you are describing about minding his mood and thinking about his needs is often referred to as “walking on eggshells”. There is a very helpful book called Walking On Eggshells. I recommend you read it, even if you don’t relate to the second part of the title.
You need to start focusing on yourself. What you are describing is normal for someone married to a man like the one you describe. He’s unlikely to get better. Start working on building your own life. Ideally away away from him. This is no way to live.
Why would you date someone who is pro-life? Genuinely curious.
He’s either a fuckwit or there is more to the story
Run have some respect. It doesn’t matter if you think it’s stupid.
How would you feel if he minimized/dismissed your insecurities and boundaries, honestly would you be happy if he treated you the way your treating him?
Female human beings are called women.
There’s no reason you need to tie yourself down to someone at 20. Especially a loser like this. You have so much life to experience and so much to learn about yourself. There are plenty of fish in the sea, and there’s quite a few much better than this dude.
Is she used to getting her way with naked choices and ultimatums? Is she prone to threatening divorce? (ie are these threats serious?) When y'all discussed undergoing IVF, did she tell you she'd want to implant all embryos produced? Did she want to at that time, or is the Catholic angle only springing up as another reason she wants more kids? If those frozen embryos didn't exist, would she also want more kids? If y'all do divorce, will she still implant the embryos? Can she, legally?
Is there any reason y'all would need to do this soon? Advice from her doctor to have any more children ASAP? Is there an expiration date on frozen embryos? That is, could you agree on having more kids eventually, but disagree on doing it anytime soon? Would you want more kids, if the health risks could be mitigated and she finds a more lucrative job that eases the money woes?
Ultimately, kids are a two yes scenario. That is, you both have to want more. It's nude for me to take her swinging threats seriously, but I don't know her. I do agree that she's being unrealistic and unreasonable, but the harsh tones of reddit won't help your relationship much. Try to understand her perspective better. Figure out how to talk about this together, and find common ground.
He lied, it’s a big lie (though it doesn’t seem like you think it is?) and there’s way more red flags here than just that. He not only kept his debts from you though you started a small business together (lie by omission, that’s something as a business partner I’d assume you’d want to know) but he also took your money, promised to use it for one thing but then used it for something else. That’s not just lying that’s using you, poor money management, and probably speaks to poor financial circumstances in general. Then on top of that his debts are that bad he’d mess up the trip to pay them off, and he’s involved with a loan shark? And where did those debts come from? Loan sharks are most often involved when there’s a gambling problem, which is another red flag. This guys a walking festival of red flags. Ignore these red flags at your own emotionsl and financial risk.
Your entire post is a great example of why high school sweetheart relationships rarely work out long-term.
Break up and date an adult.
Please respect her decision. You say that you don’t want to cause her any stress or problems, so please don’t put pressure on her to stay.
She has made her choice.
I'll have to think about that… it's hard though..
Well what are the chances she’s gonna hear it from somewhere else? If yes, wouldn’t it be better to get ahead of the narrative?
Did you even read this post?
What I got out of it, Is he doesn't care about you.
He just wants you to forgive him for his sake?!?!
You have nothing to do here really!!!
He hasn't shown one ounce of remorse and just looks like a coward really!!!
Just my opinion?!?! As I would never ever in this life time or another forgive my brother's for what they did to me!!!
Everybody has a way of coping as a child, but something's go too far!!! Especially you could realistically make the same choices as your abusers but you didn't!! You know why?!?! You have morals and empathy and understanding where as the abusers do not!!!!
I'm sorry XXX that's just my personal opinion!! I know too much about these kinds of things!! XXX
That’s pretty accurate .
Yeah, the fact that the fiancé brought it up and talked about OP like this was really disrespectful. “I almost broke up with her, she was so ugly, HUR HUR HUR,” wow, and you didn’t, you’re such a nice guy, Dave, what a keeper. /s What kind of guy compares significant others with their friend like that? Ick.
This seems like one of those situations where five years from now, you'll be thinking “I wish I listened to my mom.”
I will just say there is no chance I would ever raise my child with someone who had no empathy. You're taking a big risk here, and at such a young age. Please speak to a mental health professional.
What kind of life can you give this child?
Do you both have jobs? Do you have money to pay for the birth? Do you have money for formula and diapers? Do you have money for childcare? Do you have health insurance? Are you able to care for your child if they have special needs?
Would you be able to get therapy if you suffered from PPD? Are you prepared to deal with the possibility that you may become incontinent and have to wear diapers forever? You may lose your teeth. You may get diabetes. You may get hyperthyroidism.
Do you and the dad have the same parenting style? Do you agree with the division of labor when it comes to child rearing? Are you prepared to raise the child alone if you and your boyfriend break up?
Having a child is a lifelong responsibility. Think long and hot about whether or not you are ready to give up your youth for an unplanned pregnancy.
There is a sub called regretfulparents. Go check that out. Make sure that you are ready for what it is going to be like to parent not just a cute baby, but a toddler and a teen and a young adult. You will be sacrificing so much of your life.