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Date: October 31, 2022
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Good chance she isn't Polly and she just wants to f*ck other people
Time to leave
“Can’t we all just get along?” With the person who deeply hurt your spouse by sleeping with her previous partners while she was with them? No.
I understand what you are saying, thank you so much. I really loved her and i still do. But the things happened in our relationship really took a toll on me. I lost around 10kg in the past months, I started loosing hair.
She really needs help. One time she had fight with her mom and she said she will suicide and i had to travel to her home in midnight. I not bragging what i did for her but all these things were too much for me.
Another big problem happened was, she had a toxic ex and she was still in contact with him and i asked her why are you still in contact with the toxic ex who even had doubts with you and your father and i asked her to block him. Which she did. Later after few months, i got to know that she unblocked him and saw his name in her Facebook search/suggestion thingy.
I asked her why did you do that, are you still not over him? And i made her ask her friend’s opinion about it and her friend said what she did was wrong and she didn’t like what her friend said and later she tried to overdose because of the fight.
I don’t know if that fight was my jealousy or anything but I didn’t understand why she is doing that, he is not a kind of person anyone wants to keep in life and seeing she’s doing the opposite kinda made me feel bad.
I still wants to try to work on this relationship but all those lies and fake promises she made to me while looking for a new person behind the pact and promises which we made is hurting me.
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That doesn’t help figure out if there is anything emotionally wrong that my trigger eating for comfort
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If anything, those arguments are more interesting than this gift imbalance. If they argue frequently that's more worthwhile looking into.
Figure your shit out so you don't let your insecurities sabotage your future relationships, too.
Seriously, sort this out before you consider dating anyone, even your now ex.
Exactly everyone’s making really bold statements like “you sabotaged your relationship and went apeshit” “this is all you and you’re insecurities” literally gaslighting her lol when there isn’t even enough info to confirm those statements … I don’t know why people act like messaging someone who is clearly thirsty for you whilst you’re in a relationship is normal or acceptable. It’s possible that both OP has serious insecurity issues and that the bf wasn’t setting boundaries. Both can be true at the same time.
On site is some slang that makes me think this isn't Dad's first bout of immaturity
Omg, how did you know?!
Just kidding. But yeah, married and supposedly not interested in a hook up or affair or anything like that.
Don’t know if you’ll read this but, I see several things here.
Your wife is hurt because being rejected by a man, especially your husband is nude (I should know). It hurts your pride.
Nonetheless, it feels to me that she’s being inconsiderate. She asked what you wanted and you told her, then she didn’t respect your wish. Why ask? Consent works both ways and some of us women tend to forget that, as women, because men are supposed to love and want sex all the time.
She’s your wife. Talk to her. Tell her you didn’t want to hurt her feelings but be clear : she hurt yours and she didn’t respect your desires. She put herself first and that’s not what a team do (especially on one’s birthday).
I favour the approach where, “any interaction with another person you can’t confidently tell your partner about” becomes a vessel of physical or emotional cheating. People have various discrepancies when it comes to what is cheating, but the only opinion that matters here is your boyfriend’s. To me, and to my partner, that would be cheating. Tell your boyfriend, and let him tell you if it is.
There have been much more brutal comments lol. But yes you raise good points and I intend on talking to her soon. Again this isn’t a matter of convenience, but me just not knowing what I want. Thank you for your comment
Except my primary focus wasn’t age. You just decided it was
You will be very happy to have an involved mother-in-law once the baby comes, I promise. Having a baby is a huge amount of work and although it seems like a lot of cooks in the kitchen at six weeks (it is, by the way), it won't be once you have a one-month-old.
You’re gonna need those hinge screenshots. That would be damning evidence.
Either you learn to set boundaries or you are going to get sick with her or with anyone else that comes after.
They don't need to understand
me too
Good for your wife.
You need to train yourself to be a dad and not such a dick, mate.
I think one things for sure, you’re not ready to be a father
I have PCOS and I'm very lucky that it only took 14 months to conceive. My advice is to see a specialist and they will be able to tell you how healthy your ovaries are/how many egg sacks are left.
You need to have a conversation with him and find out what his timeline looks like. If he wants to start trying in 5 years then that's probably too late. How long will it take to get a home of your own? If it's 6 months it's not really a big deal but years would be to me. Unfortunately I don't think you are compatible anymore if you are ready for children and he wants to wait or doesn't want them at all.
If you're crying during sex, he ain't it man.
You’re only 2 months in. Typically it’s best to just leave and find a less stressful relationship since you haven’t been together long
There’s no such thing as closure. Just get in with your life.
please don't use, don't give those fucks the satisfaction.
The particulars of each partner's preferences are not as important as flexibility about them. Anything one person is absolutely inflexible about is an issue separate from the actual kink. Gotta work out one, then the other.
How? Sounds like he has a high paying job that requires few hours.
What a lucky guy!
This sounds like there’s was a big miscommunication, and then no conversations before wanting major changes.
Have you sat down a talked finances openly? If you’re a couple living together this doesn’t sound all that heinous imo.
Sit down and ask yourself what your reasoning is to want changes, write them down to clarify, and then go have an open discussion about your finances with your partner.
Take some time, and then ask about changes if you feel like they’re necessary.
Nothing to “claim” here
It could be a slight, it could not be. My approach to things like this and weddings etc is that it's up to the people involved and you don't know the decision making process behind it. Whatever happens this baby is going to be your niece or nephew so take the presents over after the shower and try not to worry about it.
I think for a complex situation like this there are no easy answers.
You keep trying until YOU are done.
If you are not finished with this relationship try to respect partner’s wishes and give them space as needed and don’t press for clarification of the relationship.
Your best bet is to keep showing up and being receptive to whatever your ex partner is able to give.
If it is not enough for you then you can end things and negotiate a reasonable coparenting relationship.
Most people would leave her over this, as should you.
honestly, i know people on reddit jump on the ‘dump them’ train too quickly, but this would be a dealbreaker for me. the amount of distrust and insecurity i would get from this is honestly painful to think about. she doesn’t sound worth it
Piece of advice here, so much talk of “love” and “betrayal” and “devastated” and all short of intense thing after only 5 months, and you both being so young… you should really need to slow down your relationships and how you approach them.
My advice, cut contact for the next three days, after those three days are up jerk one out. Then search how you feel during the “post nut clarity” if you still like her then go for another shot.
You are both young, add alcohol and dumb things can happen. I’m not going to tell you to give it another go, you do you. But don’t listen to the 900 people here to plainly cut contact either. They say that shit on 3/4ths of the posts here.
Lots of people do that. It is just a verbal hug. Say it right back next time, in a cheery voice.
That’s why I wrote all of this out. You didn’t mention that part in the post. You’ve now just said that you’re incompatible. That’s what you need to focus on. You might both be great people handling a break up maturely, but ultimately this was always going to end. Remind yourself of that.
Why is that her job to save him from himself? It's not. She owes him nothing, especially since all he is doing is repeatedly using and disrespecting her.
Not necessarily. Go to a lawyer.
So so sorry this happened to you and I’m glad you’ve made the best decision for yourself. Please be very careful with your ex fiancés best friend though. Her offering to come over to comfort you is highly suspicious-her saying all those compliments to you and how her own best friend didn’t deserve you hints that she may have has a hand in encouraging something or at the very least she wants to move in on you. None of those possibilities excuse your ex as she is a grown woman, but that bestie sounds sneaky af & I would cut her out of your life too.
Yeah, and tbh its even more complicated than everything in this post…
By the way, I adore you. Hardly anyone will play with the Witch!
I wonder if you control everyone in your life…
How about your surname as middle name?
it was more so me saying i want to break up with her that did the damage. she says she cant see me the same anymore and that she is too sad.
Does she have no interest in you or the kids? NOOO acts like how we can fix it? you can't, she is bouncing to her ex-husband's body too? You don't need evidence, just an exit plan. that means pulling all the money and just dolling it out a little. File and be nice, and move on.
the best advice i can think to give you is try to answer this question: do you really want to spend the rest of your life like this?
the best advice i can think to give you is try to answer this question: do you really want to spend the rest of your life like this?