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Cowboy, 32 y.o.
Location: anywhere
Room subject: Inspireenvy, ‘s room
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Date: October 23, 2022
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there is no jail time in this post, no judge would send someone to jail over the events of this post, in terms of sexual assault it's mild but even mild is disgusting.
I understand where you are coming from though, if the roles were reversed it would be 10x worse in these comments for the man.
My advice block him and move on.
If this is a one time situation, I’d wait for things to calm down and voice why you were disappointed/frustrated.
If this is a reoccurring issue, I would nip his philosophy in the bud. You don’t have to be rude about it, but when he lays out his defense as the burden of responsibility being on you to ensure he wakes up etc let him know that he is an entire grown ass thirty year old (!!!) man. You are not an alarm clock. You are not his mother. You are not a psychic. He offered to help you. If he had offered to help a friend, would he have expected that friend to drive over to his home and wake him up the special way he needs to be woken up? When he goes to work does a magical fairy come in and wake him up in this special way or does he know he has to go to work so manages to wake his own self up? I think it’s good to mention your own role in the situation as you laid out here, and work on time management a bit better (I also go all out on food prep/cooking etc so I know that life). But he’s your partner. If the role was reversed and you offered to help him, how would he feel if you didn’t follow through because he didn’t spend time he didn’t have trying to get you up and going?
Ngl I also worry about him getting out the car and going home, leaving you to make excuses for his absence which I’m sure was awkward as fuck. I suggest you reflect on his maturity and decide if this is really the kind of man you want to dedicate your life to.
Yeah, so far I've been definitely on the don't tell him train. The thing is, I fundamentally just can't understand not wanting to care of yourself/your body. I guess I'm trying to ask if telling him might make him care.
That's a whole lot for such a short amount of time. Give yourself some space, and consider if you really want to be with someone who changes that quickly. That's a red flag.
He is trying to get you to break up with him without making himself look like the bad guy or unreasonable one. Except he already did that by making the decision for the both of you to just move to Florida and expect you to be okay with it.
What you do here is tell him you've read between the lines and realized he's broken up with you but he's too scared to outright say it for whatever reason. That he's being a coward about it but if he wants to go it sounds like the relationship is done either way.
This way you can start moving on with your life.
Please be an adult and overthink your rule!
It is absolutely a good idea to see if you can on-line together at least a couple years, before even thinking about getting engaged.
It’s a small mistake to move in with somebody, find out you can’t live together and then separate again. It’s inconvenient, but easily solvable.
It’s a huge mistake to marry, then find out you can’t on-line together and then separate. Much more financial and legal entanglements. Still possible, but much harder.
You are afraid of a rather minor mistake and therefore take a huge risk of making a big mistake. Think again!!
May be he asked her to stay away from you
Gold digger. Get rid of it. Tell her to mind her business, it's your property. Not our property
I wouldn’t say there is a huge risk really. I just feel morally inclined to introspect and make an improvement on my thoughts.
It wasn’t constantly or once a day every day. It was more like once every two weeks more or less when I happened to remember it, sort of checking in and asking if he got around to it yet. Does that still count as super concerned though? Trying to work on it.
Ngl OP as a life time dog owner having had a pervert pup or two in my bed during sexy time I laughed my ass off when I read this.
I guarantee you the bf probably just didn’t think anything of it and there isn’t any ill intent behind it.
That said, it is also a perfectly reasonable ask to have no pets on the bed while y’all go to pound town.
Depending on the dogs behaviors it may take some adjustment, but often times (especially if a dog is snoozing like this one was) they are half asleep enough they will just continue snoozing wherever you put them (like a bed/crate/both). If they don’t then a bone to chew or some other item to keep themselves occupied (but nothing that makes squeaking noises cause that’s a bit distracting lol).
Bf might push back a little bit but if y’all are in a healthy relationship a simple, “I would prefer the dog not be on the bed while you are inside me”. Should suffice. If he continues to push or ask why stay firm. Don’t bring up any of the ex gf stuff, just say it’s a preference he should respect (as he should). If he gets defensive and weird about it, then maybe has some other issues surrounding the whole dog situation idk but as I said this is a perfectly reasonable ask and one he should respect without pushback.
He sounds like an ass, not very much of a partner with that attitude.
I just can’t believe he grabbed my neck like that. I’m literally in shock
What did I just read?
You’re married, all marital property is half yours and he’s got a private account and is sending money to a woman you don’t know for a reason you don’t know?
Why do people think this is okay?
Haha what did you mean by “yo”? Sorry, unfamiliar with this but sounds random & funny.
I’ve heard that many men can get easily intimidated by women who earn more, are more objectively attractive etc. BUT I think this person is rude and likely not the genius she is portraying to be.
She doesn’t even view you as a friend? Find someone who does and let her find Mr Perfect.
What part of 'not willing to risk it' do you not understand?
It's not a negotiation. OP is asking how best to phrase his firm no.
You seem yo have some kind of happy little family fantasy and he does not.
Which is honestly a blessing for OP because not once does she seem to consider if it's even in the best interest of the child to have a father present who dates children.
Either 1: Communicate the boundary to him OR;
Cut him off and ghost him
I see
Dude, you’ve got a whole decade+ on this chick….what the fuck do you really have in common with her? Leave that shit alone and move on.
“hey I want us to be exclusive and only dating each other”…that should do the trick. No need to wait on him….on a side note, why would he? he is already banging you, with minimal strings.
I mean most people do some experimenting and pushing boundaries in college – even I think that going to clubs 3 times, where I didn't drink and only danced with female friends, is pretty mild as far as boundary-pushing goes…I mean I don't expect that my BF is going to have to tell me every place he went before we met.
Joke or confession?
Absolutely.
i was about to say, the bar is in hell hahahha