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oil show [210 tokens remaining]
Date: October 3, 2022
AmateurPub
AmateurPub
oil show [210 tokens remaining]
Let's summarize this:
He has anger issues and is thus not able to have constructive communication.
You have trust issues to a massive degree.
You thought it was smart to get engaged after only six months of dating (so still in the honeymoon period) and with you having weekly fights.
There is nothing healthy about any of this. Neither of you – but especially not you – are ready to be in a relationship. Every relationship, even platonic ones, needs to begin with trust, else there will be no healthy foundation for a lasting relationship.
Even in your honeymoon period, when everything should be sunshine and rainbows, you are having weekly fights. It is very clear that neither of you is ready for a relationship. And yet, you thought it smart to get engaged after such a short timeframe – which is way too short even for healthy relationships.
If anything, all of that should show you that you are not ready to be a healthy partner for anyone right now.
If you end up being pregnant, would you abort? If so, just go ahead with that and don't worry about telling Adam.
Other option would be to change his name in ur address book, I'd recommend adding the letter X or Z to the start of his name. But it seems u have already sorted it out.
Holy what? You're a giant red flag OP. If you don't realise how controlling you are better get therapy because your insecurities may lead to you just becoming unhinged
Your MIL is astonishingly cruel. That comment was absolutely heartless and your husband deserves to know who she really is. Is going NC with that really a bad thing?
love u too
a mixture of feeling like you think he isn't good enough anymore
Yup, weight gain can cause it, and his desire to have you hold him accountable shows that part of his motivation is the hope that you'll start to desire him more if he loses the belly fat. The other part is selfish, but that's just how motivation works, we're not fully self interested people for the most part but very few of us are fully self uninterested people. Motivations that hit both on the good deed and meet a selfish alternative tend to be the ones that get selected.
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You are in the right, going in to even more debt is irrational and a terrible foundation. Most people save for the wedding first.
Kiss that money goodbye, then wave goodbye to her. Education is expensive. Hoped you learned a lesson.
Outside of primarily white cishet groups, this isn't often the case. Devil's avocado
U having this won't save it. He's tried to leave u he doesn't value u. U setting aside ur values and views won't save it. Ur not compatible. He's manipulating U bc u keep giving in. He'll never be happy. I had an ex tell me once he was happy with me bc he knew ” i loved him so much he could do anything and I wouldn't leave.” We broke up multiple times. And he would find a way to get me back. That's not love.
I see it as it as a sentimental piece of jewellery that I will wear for the rest of my life, and plan on passing down as a heirloom.
Look, you've posted here before….and more often than not, you and your bf simply seem to have communication issues. Sounds like investing in some couple's counseling might be for the best at this point, given that you bought a house together despite people cautioning against it.
Why do you want a diamond? Why a blood diamond? Have you actually done research together about what 2k can get you in terms of vintage diamonds, lab diamonds, or a similar good stone like moissanite?
What's an emotional affair? How would you describe it?
I would talk to some other adult in your family about it. I t sounds like your dad is enabling her bad behavior.
???????
I think you should focus on breaking up. Passionately,of course.
You're definitely going to need to bring it up. You're saying “he should be with someone he finds pretty” and maybe thats true to a point but what YOU deserve is someone that makes you feels pretty and someone that finds you attractive. That's what YOU deserve. YOU deserve to be happy too. Bring it up. Ask him and be ready to hear some shit you don't want to hear but maybe there's some other reason but the ONE thing to remember is YOU deserve happiness. Relationships are NOT one way.
So you started dating someone when you didn’t have romantic feelings for them!? That’s just so wrong I can’t even fathom. Do the right thing and break up with this person and for god sakes reevaluate your boundaries jeez…get a backbone.
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I’m kinda on the fence here, but I do want to point out that you teach others how to treat you. The fact that you do all the housework even though it sounds like she spends a lot of time there is teaching her that she doesn’t need to contribute, or do helpful things for you. So she may not be seeing the showering thing any differently from other chores. Something to think about!
Been there.
I and my girl split for almost a whole year because our sex life wasn't what it should be. Were 100% better now that we have everything down to how we both like it, but that took time, practice, and communication.
But you can't make a horse drink. He needs to understand the severity of what this is causing.
Tell him it's bad enough you feel yourself distancing from the relationship. Be honest about it that his negligence could be terminal. He needs an eye opener, not attempts to massage his ego so he can work up to doing what he needs to do.
Be straight. I know you don't want to, partly because you value his feelings, but also in part because he may just prove he doesn't care in full, or wont work through his hang ups.
Give him the truth, let him decide if this relationship is gonna work- because the balls already in his court, he just doesnt know what he stands to lose.
I think it shows the opposite. Having the same birthday doesn’t equate to a connection. That’s him forcing a connection over something that has nothing to do with you as a person. Essentially he is saying you are compatible because you are the same astrology sign, that’s childish. Does he also like your “energy” and “vibe”? There is no depth to these things. You are too old for him, he isn’t ready for all the things you are ready for.
Because she only cares how she feels. She only cares about herself.
If you stay, you’re telling your daughter it’s okay to be abused. Leave.
He broke up with you for being a bully. Good for him.
You made a mistake telling him how wronged and disrespected he made you feel – BY TEXT. Those kinds of things need to be dicussed face to face, or if that's not possible, by phone.
I don't know what to do next, you seem ambivalent yourself.
I'm in a relationship currently yes. My list isn't pasted on my homescreen or anything lol. It also isn't hidden though. Just kept in a notes app. He knows about it and has actually seen it.
I'll just leave my experience here, I once wanted to go clubbing with my friends just to dance but instead I had guys hitting on me and even pulling me closer thinking I wanted some kiss or something. Last time a guy pushed me when I rejected him, that was the last time I went to a club, never again. I totally hated the vibe while my friends were kissing strangers and getting drunk. Yeah, people may go clubbing to dance only, but every weekend is… Weird.
Well, if you trust your wife, fine, but if this other friend of your wife bothers you it may be good to just talk with your wife. Why she enjoys clubbing so much? Did she never had the chance when younger/single? Try to talk casually about her friend as well, find out who she is. And yes the hotel thing was super weird.
Makes me sick to think about. The idea of them being targeted by trash men just because they know women their own age won't put up with their crap.
I think you should tell her – have you maybe also considered telling your mom first? If you think it will come out it might be better if she hears the truth from you, before she gets hearsay and rumours from elsewhere.
As for you – this is clearly eating you up, and also this guy has been stringing you along and keeping you from moving on with your life for years and years. He’s utter trash and scum. You, in my opinion, are not. You’ve done something really stupid and really really terrible, but eventually you have to come to a place where you can forgive yourself. (And I don’t care if I get downvoted to shit for this, in my opinion the person who cheats on their partner is always more to blame.)
I really love the “I’m proud _____” introduction about how amazing of a person he is! I feel like I can use that often, because he’s accomplished a lot these last few months. Thank you for your expertise!
You asked if you were passive aggressive ‘or something’. It’s the ‘or something’. What you wrote is cringey and embarrassing. It doesn’t matter that you double texted the whole thing was painful to read. She is not into you. You know this at some level and instead of just moving on YOU were rude and childish. Bringing up she’s not answering your ‘simple question’ is beyond rude and pathetic. She doesn’t owe you a response no matter how many foolish novels you write her.
He did show it to you, just not ON you
I do t know where you are but in the UK marriage is not a protected class.
Good bye ✌️
Ewww what a horrible guy, no wonder he is going for someone this much younger. Don't let him mold you in someone smaller please. There is no end.
Break up.
That's what I was thinking. You can't put the baby in it's crate for a while so you can watch TV. A baby can hear a zipper from across the house, asleep, and be screaming for food and a diaper change before that first kiss is done. Baby don't care if it's Superbowl Sunday, it's time for some puking and a high fever. But it's ok, it's only six or ten years before he gets some of his life back.
And a puppy doesn't tell it's kindergarten teacher.
Ah yes, “I don't like that others can literally see my gf tits” is a very possessive thought. Sure.
People have different tastes, you do know that, right? Hell, I wouldn't want to have a gf who dresses like that. And I especially wouldn't want a girl who gets all emotional when I voice my worries. They ain't compatible in the long run.
This is bullshit.
A junk is just a junk, but it's not like I'd use some transparent trousers where your be able to see my dick, and used this phrase with my girlfriend when we get together with her friends.
I agree as many other say that it's a compatibility issue. But honestly OP, most of the people I know, would be uncomfortable with a partner showing her nipples. So I think it's pretty valid you state this, and even breaking up over these.
Everyone is free to do what they want as long as it doesn't harm others, but there are also social conducts out there. It's not like I could just go to social events and fart all the time, and then expect “accept me as how I am”. True, but I wander how many people would accept that.
A violation sleeping in my bed. Get the fuck out of here
Maybe cuz I’m in college, but I skip breakfast all the time. It’s normal for some people. Personally, I just don’t have an appetite in the morning and feel better just eating later when I’m actually hungry
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Does your husband realize that pretty much every hotel in Mexico is run by the cartel? Mexico is not safe. Like at all. ?
They were mostly followed, but he turned around and called you manipulative for them and accused you of tearing them apart.
As another 20's male with a high sex drive, I don't think this went as well as you think it did.
Even before the recent changes, he was initiating more often than you wanted and so you turned him down more often then not. You have every right to do that of course but at the end of the day his needs were not being met. In effect you were prioritizing your needs over his, there should always be caution when that's the case in a relationship.
Now you have made him feel guilty and possibly ashamed for his needs and trying to get them met. That was not your intent but based on his response (and how I'd feel in that position) that was your effect. Instead of trying to find a compromise you doubled down and made it clear that he isn't going to have his needs met and he needs to stop trying.
So now he isn't initiating at all, which is not a good sign from someone with a high libido. It means he either no longer feels comfortable being open about his needs, he doesn't feel wanted anymore or he just feels deflated in his relationship. From his perspective he now has two options, accept that his needs will never be met or break up with you. Frankly at 24 he is a lot more likely to pick the latter.
Having a low sex drive isn't a bad thing but you have shown him little consideration for his needs and feelings. You don't seem to care how all this makes him feel, you only ever talked about your own feelings. You have consistently put your needs ahead of his. You've now put him a position where he's likely reconsidering the relationship altogether. In some of the comments you mentioned that he always comes to you openly with issues but the way you have handled this absolutely discourage him from doing that. He is not likely to feel comfortable coming to you about this now.
Okay thank you!
Oh my God, you poor man. One of my worst fears for my children is their ending up in a relationship one day where they are used and disrespected by their partner but be so blind as to not realize.
Being Poly is not a sexual identity (and frankly it’s offensive to all the LGBTQ+ people who have fought for rights and come out in families and community where they are not supported, to compare the two). Poly is a lifestyle choice that all parties involved have to consent to.
Please leave and take better care of yourself. Date other women. Have consensual sex with other women. Learn what you like and who you are compatible with. You deserve better than to be someone’s little bitch.
One of the biggest problems parents have is assuming that kids are lying / blowing things out of proportions. Kids know how they feel, and all they need is to be encouraged to tell what’s actually happening.
If I had to guess from an outside perspective, it sounds like you may be downplaying her experience when she tries to tell you what’s going on so she’s leaving out details that would help you understand. If I were you, I would tell her that I was sorry for not hearing her fully before, and you are ready to listen to everything she has to say AND MEAN IT. Then, if it’s something that can be worked on, you tell your boyfriend that his behavior is unacceptable and that he either changes or else. At that point, the “else” is you have to make a choice. It’s either him or your daughter. That’s not an ultimatum, it’s that your daughter feels uncomfortable around him, and will rightfully no longer come around until he changes his patterns.
Forgetting everything else that everyone is saying why would you want to be in a relationship with someone where your sex life sucks
they know the whole story, but they’re somewhat biased. my mom is in the process of divorcing my dad so it’s definitely fresh. they’re comparing him to my father. i do trust him, im just paranoid and i don’t want to feel second best. it’s such a complicated situation
Am i being an idiot,
Yes. This is absurd. Do not tolerate a man as feckless as your fiance.
You can’t change your sister in law. She has to want to change her act, and so far, she doesn’t. It’s a shitty situation all around, but the motivation to change has to come from your sister in law.
Are you willing to adopt/raise the kid as a means to improve the child’s life?
Uhhh… really? You don’t have better things to worry about? Your relationship must be pretty damn good.
Thank you, that’s not a bad idea at all!
Although, I think at this point me getting another instructor would just be wasted money. She had told me many times that I can drive and there’s nothing else she can really teach me RE driving. Just confidence, which she admitted comes with practice.
So I’m hoping if I keep driving with my family that eventually I will not give myself such a hot time!
Thank you ☺️☺️
Look up the old MTV show called “NEXT” ??do that to him the next time you see him lol
No, she doesn’t want you dead. Not literally.
It was extremely rude, however, and you wouldn’t be wrong to tell her you won’t stsnd for verbal abuse, and give her a fee days by herself to consider what repeat performances will earn her.
Had an ex that was extremely clean and she still had an almost sour odor. Might want to talk to the doc, as a man I'm not sure there's a good way to handle broaching the subject. He should brush his teeth tho
This sub is full of 14yr old virgin girls who have no clue
Just block them all! Your parents are being selfish, you should go NC with them too
Sometimes when marriage is on the table- people get a little too comfortable and start dropping their bad behavior bombs. And it's not even that unusual in long term relationships. I'm going to have to agree with the other commenters that he is really showing his true colors- he should be much more concerned about his finances safety, then hurting a female coworkers feelings or being the “go to” for one of his friends that had serious issues. In all reality it sounds like he does not know how to set proper boundaries, and is too busy being a people pleaser to put his foot down.
I’ve never worn my own clothes while at the spa. It’s always a little Velcro towel tube top thing and my own panties or sometimes a robe. This doesn’t really make sense.
You are 26. You do what you want. End of story. You aren't a minor.
Fuck no.
You did the right thing. He wouldn't have ever told you the truth if you hadn't otherwise found out. He cheated and will cheat again. Tell Samantha she can have his lying, cheating ass
hey so it’s been real but not real enough, duces!
Tell her everything you said here! You have loved having her as a roommate but it’s time for the next step for you and your boyfriend. You wanted to make sure you gave her plenty of time, and maybe offer to help look for places. Sure, she’ll be upset but c’est la vie. You’re not going out of your way to hurt her and she must have seen it coming. She will get over it.
It went from get fully hot to touching herself and spreading as OP said. It sounds like it went a little over the softcore or suggestive line.
Maybe his wife has an exhibitionism fetish and only learned it in the moment. But still, I think a conversation on taking hard photos with someone else and what it means for their relationship should have happened first. Not having that conversation and then participating in a shoot that involved the friend touching her to tell her how to do the poses, per a comment from OP, is a big foul.
You dirty old pumper.
So how do I talk to her about this I can’t just tell her hey I’ve been thinking about breaking up
Oh they’re everywhere, and FAR too easy to find. Way to be excellent, OP! If my hubs found I had done this he’d be super appreciative, yours should be embarrassed to be such a weenie.
It sounds like a very casual relationship and hardly what most would call “old fashioned”.
If you desire a more serious relationship, let her know. But she may be fine with the status quo. And if you aren't, then the relationship has run its course.
You’ve been together for a year and not kissed? Either this whole post is a troll or you’ve really buried the lede on what your relationship issues are.
You're bad at reasoning. Someone who wants to fuck other people above all else will simply go do that: because that's most important, and because our society has atrocious sexual norms (I mean that literally – I think our sexual norms qualify as an actual crime against humanity) that make a no answer all but certain, there's no real benefit to asking.
Someone who values the existing relationship at least as much as or more than fucking other people is the person who will ask: that petson is checking before acting in order to avoid damaging the existing relationship, prioritizing it above fucking other people.
What an asshole. You already have an asshole; you don’t need another
To a 32 year old woman he might as well be. I'm only 27 and the idea of dating a 19 makes me gag.
Unfortunately in order to get her attention you will have to create a crisis.
Clearly she's already too involved emotionally with the coworker.
She needs to believe you will divorce rather than tolerate her BS with another man.
And with respect to this guy, as a consequence of her sketchy behavior with him, she must go zero contact (and find another job).
If you cry beg, or show any reluctance to divorce, she will lose respect for you and view you as being too weak to divorce.
1- move her to the couch 2,,- see an attorney 3- if her BF is married, notify his wife without warning 4- notify her family that she is having an affair with the coworker (let her prove otherwise) 5- stop talking until she goes zero contact, finds another job, and recovers the deleted texts
EXCUSE ME?! She did what?!
This all around sounds like a bad situation.
1) why did she think using Clorox wipes on your vagina is ok? ITS NOT. It’s sooooo so bad for the vagina to put harsh chemical on it. Did she think she smelled?
Also did you stop and get Clorox wipes to specifically to wipe your privates parts?
Please don’t. Don’t do that. That is going to destroy the good bacteria you have and give the person your intimate with a serious infection.
As a woman, I’m so tremendously concerned for her.
2) I commented this somewhere else but I’ll say it again. I get waxed but when everything shut down in 2020 and I obviously couldn’t go for a few months. I was still an active person. Working out in my back yard and going on walk/runs. That’s when I realized how badly pubic hair holds sweat. Even if you wash it, you have to really get in there with soap. It’s the same as the hair on your head. There were days when I had to run soap through it twice because I could still smell sweat.
So maybe that’s something to consider but it also sounds like she genuinely wasn’t interested in you.
For a lot of reasons.
So glad to see this update! (I was worried after your first post.) Please be vigilant about your safety, I doubt this guy will give up easily.
Yeah honestly, I’m a super sensitive smeller and can sometimes smell people (including myself) even after they’ve showered thoroughly. I just deal with it because I know it’s a me problem.