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celestevixen chat
Date: October 30, 2022
AmateurPub
AmateurPub
celestevixen chat
33 is extremely young. Most of your life is left. Is this what you want it to look like?
Just because you, as a man, haven't experienced misogyny in real time doesn't mean it is just an internet label. And if loving women is part of your DNA that you can't get rid of, why do gay men exist? lol
You did this to yourself buddy.
He can be bi or pan and not necessarily gay. I have seen way too many comments straight up saying he's gay and ignoring the existence of other sexualities. You shouldn't assume someone's sexualities without their side of what happened as it is not only disrespectful but totally misleading to OP. He should be held accountable for his actions as yes, he cheated and that must feel awful and yes he trickle truthed, and if i were you, i'd leave him. But please do not assume that he is gay when you do not know him and have little context – OP even states he's had previous girlfriends and boyfriends, he's exploring.
Yes, some people will try that, then drop you once they realize it's futile. Now you know, get yourself an actual therapist.
She's a fucking wackadoodle leave her crazy ass dude not worth it
You really can’t convince someone to have a different framework or belief system. Y’all may just be incompatible here. ?
7.8 billion people on earth and OP chooses to be with these people
Agrees, same mindset here. But dont worry, you're drive is only temporarily affected, I am sure this will all turn out ok
A first of what
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And you're not going to.
You are very welcome!
And thank you for reminding me that the middle road exists and might be worth taking. Yours is a very mature perspective.
I don’t disagree but I don’t see much from his end but then again I’m not there when they are together for 7 hrs a day
“i’m a dental student in debt and i still try to give tips between 15-20%.”
Yeah there's a reason your in debt, clearly.
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I mean, I guess I understand what she's saying, but I think she's being immature about it. I suppose you can apologize and try to find another thing you can do together for the first time, but definitely bizarre.
You feel weird about it because you were in the same position that this girl is in. A mid thirties dude going after a young twenties woman in the workplace.
People get crushes on others, even when it relationships. It happens and it doesn’t necessarily need to be a bad thing if it’s handled appropriately.
I don’t think he’s handling it appropriately.
He’s pretending as if nothing is going on in his mind when it is pretty clear that there is.
You need to have a conversation with him about it and anything short of him acknowledging it and trying to slow down/pull back from it a bit isn’t good enough.
You’re telling him this crush/connection is becoming bothersome and instead of working with you to figure it out he’s saying that it’s not even happening.
Trust isn’t about not hurting each other, as that can happen accidentally. Trust is knowing the person well enough that you can see they want the best for you. That way if they do hurt you, you know they didn’t mean for it to happen and they will fix it.
Insecurities, sensory issues, and other things may contribute.
I hate having no shirt on. Absolutely hate it. When I go swimming, I MUST have some sort of swimming shirt so I can have some sort of cover.
The feeling of having all that exposed skin is just annoying and abrasive, and I do have some scars which may be rather uncomfortable for some to look at.
There is no true need for him to take his shirt off. I get it if it is a thing that you may need to feel in a sexual moment, but most moments… no need.
Also, I still keep a shirt on, even in higher temperatures. Good ol' America's zoo of drunk people n alligators.
When I ask this, I mean it in a way to help calm your anxiety down – but girl, how do you know that? Do you do ear inspections? Take surveys? I’m one of the very few adult women in my friend group who doesn’t have pierced ears & that’s due to a very unfortunate infection with long hair & an inexperienced piercer at Claire’s.
Only move in with your husband. You will thank me later.
You sound like a real treat… Just end the marriage.
OMG, imagine if she told you to “do as you're told, boy' in front of the cashier at Panera.
It's not cheating, it is however incredibly disrespectful to both you and his friends sister
Oh he was 100% being manipulative. When he said he wanted a break, you did not give him the reaction he wanted. That was suppose to be your cue to panic, apologize and gravel at his feet not to do a break. That’s what he really wanted. Good for you for not giving that reaction to time.
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My family (parents + 3 siblings and their spouses) is planning a trip somewhere sunny for next winter to celebrate my parents' 40th anniversary. There are two main issues coming up in my discussion with my husband: quality of hotel and safety of the destination country.
My family is lower middle class. Growing up we did a couple trips to cheaper (lower rated) resorts in Cuba. We didn't really care about the so-so food or sagging mattresses. Now that all the kids are adults we have more money and we've all individually gone to various all-inclusives in Cuba, DR, or Mexico, mostly in the 4 star range. None of my family have ever dished out for a high end 5-star vacation.
My husband has a very narrow view on what type of vacation he would go on and an even narrower view of a vacation he would agree to take our baby to. Typically he only wants to go to Europe and has no interest in any location remotely adventurous, or slightly less developed, or “dangerous”. This means he is not comfortable going to most of the Caribbean islands where these big all-inclusive resorts are found. However he did go to Cancun, Mexico one time with friends and it was a 5 star hotel, which he views as the standard in order to feel safe and comfortable.
Seeing as we have lots of time for planning, I want to snag a good resort at a lower prices by booking early and hopefully improving the quality of hotel we can book by doing so. I suggested a couple 5 star resorts in Mexico to my siblings that would come to about $2,000USD including flight per person after taking into account early bird discounts of 15-20%. The suggestions were met with silence in the group chat.
I'm torn, I know that my parents will be *very* disappointed if husband and baby don't join, because it won't be the full family. On the other hand, I know that my husband will not agree to joining the trip if the hotel isn't in a developed area + 5 star.
How should I approach planning this trip? Beg husband to suck it up? Plead with siblings to go somewhere a nicer than normal? Go it alone and disappoint my parents?
Ps. Since I know it will be suggested, we cannot cover the difference in cost because my siblings/family are very proud and would feel insulted by the offer.
Then go on dating sites specific to the country. Or get Facebook.
That's like the fakes things ever haha
Can you DM me?
That’s my point. DO YOU WANT HELP AS BAD AS YOU OBVIOUSLY NEED IT? Then go to therapy. You can’t fix this without an unbiased third party professional to offer guidance and break down the internal barriers. No one here can do that for you. You have to get this help yourself. Otherwise you are destined to repeat this behavior everytime you try to have a relationship.
Thank you, it’s very helpful to read your experience and your opinion. It’s just happened out of nowhere literally just after I found out about my dad and it’s confused me a lot because it feels like he’s very suddenly changed on me.
Yep, so stop doing it and tell him why. A good rule of thumb, only continue to do things for people who appreciate or reciprocate, the more you try to earn or wait for it, they just feel more entitled to it. (Side note, waiting or trying to earn appreciation or reciprocation often comes from a past neglectful or dismissive caregiver or other important relationship where that was normalized. But it’s not healthy, it create conflict avoidant or people pleasing tendencies that often lead to accepting less than healthy relationships. So it might be a useful thing to explore about yourself, in case any of this things true).
Granted sometimes people are like this because they grew up not realizing appreciation and reciprocation matters, which is fine, that’s why you need to share why it matters. After that, if they still don’t do it, then they’re just selfish shitty people that you’re giving too much benefit of the doubt to. You deserve appreciation or reciprocation, if you’re not getting it, don’t put up with it.
Update us when you file for divorce.
Except you don’t know if they are around his family. What’s to say he’s not gonna go across the US. It is not illegal to take your kid ANYWHERE within a marriage and with no type of custody agreement. He would be well within his rights to move ten states away with your baby. You could literally do nothing about it. It is absolutely ridiculous for you to trust someone when they hide their dwelling from you. That’s insane. If he were wanting to reconcile, you would both be at each others houses….. he could live with his new gf. Your baby could be hanging out with his gf or fwb. You literally haven’t the slightest idea. That’s appalling to me. I stand by what I said. My son wouldn’t have gone anywhere. I would of let him divorce me and take me to court and legally force me to give custody before I’d let him take my baby somewhere I’m unaware of….. you cannot protect your child when you have no idea where your child is :/
I’m really hope you’re right and nothing every even remotely uncomfortable happens. Good luck.
Absolutely tell him. He needs to know the truth so that he doesn’t spend anymore time with this girl
If this is real divorce and then therapy but not couples only for OP
It's best he gets pulled out of college. I had a freshman year friend end his life, and I wish his parents did the same thing. College can be massive turmoil in your life and you never know how someone is going to react.
No
It sounds like you want to reconcile with him with how nice you’re being. Tell him it’s over and bye bye
So why do you care? They are upset about your SIL. You did nothing wrong. Her actions have consequences for her and that's it.
Hire a babysitter for one night? Give the kid a trip to grandma's house once a month(assuming she lives nearby)? Let him spend the night at a friend's house?
Unless she's so codependent with this child that she can't exist without him for a single night, these are pretty standard parenting practices. And if she is that extremely codependent then it's definitely for the best that OP got out when he did.
Yeah maybe the way I phrased it but I previously asked her about 5 days ago if we could have dinner for that day. And I asked to confirm again and that’s when she said she has to double check with her sister. So basically she agreed to this plan some time ago already with me.
Also, I don’t want to go into the reasoning for me which is much more difficult to move out. But it’s not as simple as I would have loved it to be.
You can't really start healing until your resolve your living situation. If it's your house he needs to leave and if you can't pay the mortgage alone you need to either get a roommate or sell the property. But once he's gone it's a matter of building new habits. Longterm relationships come with some scheduling and breaking those ingrained patterns is how to establish a new dynamic to where there's not a big hole in your daily agenda. So take up some activities you've always wanted to try. Spend more time with friends/family. Join a club or a class. Read all those books you've been putting off. It's not just filling time, it's creating a new reality for yourself so you won't just be idle and missing him.
Why can’t she move it herself? I (44F) do. ?♀️
Or she could use one of those live tools for interior decorating to try various arrangements virtually first. You enter in the specs of the room and the furniture and it’s kind of neat. I don’t use it because I can just..move stuff and try it. But I wouldn’t ask my partner to do it. He’d be annoyed and so would I if the roles were reversed.
He only wanted her to be friends with his friends' SOs. How is that not controlling?
If she can lie about her age so easily….what else can she lie about?
Clorox wipes??? Jeez that’s gross and creepy at the same time. I wouldn’t worry about it, just freshen up once you get ready to hook up and you’ll be fine. She probably has some weird sense of smell or taste because she uses Clorox wipes as a baby wipe.
You clean the house, and pay the bills? That sounds like some weird equality shit. My wife and I share every penny, in the same accounts. We never fight about money ever. There is always plenty when you scrape together in my experience. When we have less than usual, we just work nude to make more… no fights about who does what. (We own a store together, so naturally I do most of the physical work) we have 3 under 4 years old, so someone has to be with them, so usually that is her! That’s the naked job honestly. Sounds to me like you guys are roommates that are having sex.
I didn't read the whole story, but man this girl is pathetic. Do your program, go on Tinder and let this one go. You would do yourself a big favor.