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cece, ?, y.o.
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Date: October 27, 2022
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What did I do wrong?
Nothing. Absolutely nothing
What could I have done to stop this?
Nothing.
You have done NOTHING wrong here. Now yes, that's a blanket statement, and I'm sure there were fights and moments where one or both of you were in the wrong, as it is with normal relationship stuff.
What is happening here is that this guy didn't want to be married. And instead of being an adult and having a sitdown conversation about how he is unsure if he's ready for or wants marriage at this point in his life, he was a selfish tool and used excuses like “me time”, or “you aren't letting me be my own person”. He's chasing some new girl because New Relationship Energy is a thing, and once that wears off, he'll be looking for something new again.
In summary, this man isn't mature enough for marriage at this point in his life. You didn't do anything wrong. This is about him not wanting that, and then being a complete ass about it.
This hurts like fuck right now. Of course it does. You loved him. You still do, or at least you love who this man was, who you thought he was going to continue to be. You had plans. You wanted marriage. It sucks.
But…what you really want is marriage with a partner that respects you. That is mature enough to have adult conversations about feelings. That doesn't make you feel crazy when your partner clearly has a crush on some new rando. That wants the same future that you do.
What you are gaining is freedom. Freedom from the last few months of emotional pain. From being mistreated. You deserve better.
Move out. Hang with your besties and know that it's ok to be hurt for a bit. Lean on them. Cry it out, get too drunk and puke it out, but know your are getting it OUT of your system, so you can build yourself back up. You are a cool, strong, badass woman. You deserve a partner that respects you and treats you right. This hurts now, but it's a win for you in the long run.
Also, be ready for that moment two months from now when his dumb ass drunkenly texts you about how big a mistake he made, and how he wants you back, and how he'll be better. Fuck him. Leave him on read.
Exactly, his comment wasn’t one of ignorance. He knew what he was saying to her. Responding with facts to educate him is useless
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I hear what you are saying. But I feel our relationship is still quite young. And a lot of what he is doing seems a bit strange to me. Also note that I've never had this happen to me and was previously in a relationship of 10 years.
Oh dear gods hon, you're saying the equivalent of “at least he doesn't beat you”. ABUSE IS ABUSE. Do not minimize or excuse it because he didn't leave visible damage. You excuse this now and it'll escalate. Next time he'll be worse. He will end up beating you. YES HE WILL. Do not live in denial. He has shown you who he is. Believe him.
“very honest and blunt” = tactless asshole who hurts peoples feelings and hides behind i'M jUsT bEiNg HoNeSt. Let me guess it's really important for him to be the smartest guy in the room and let everyone know it?
He's religious and parents are both pastors. Denomination is important here. Methodist or Episcopalian? That barely qualifies as religion. Baptist or Catholic? Run like a motherfucker. Presbyterian? Be prepared for them to never pick up the check and always give you JC Penny's gift cards.
I'm kidding. I have never one single time seen one partner who is very churchy and another who isn't have a good outcome. The churchy partner always gets more and more churchy and it always ends in some sort of showdown.
Also his pros list is very short and it sounds like lovebombing. Meanwhile his cons list make him sound judgmental, arrogant, lazy, and ugly. Why are you with this guy?
False comparison. And OP’s boyfriend isn’t being an adult, that’s the point.
Grocery Shopping isn’t that big a burden. It’s two people in the household. I’m not sure if she’s getting home at 10pm or later on in the evening every night, but is the expectation that he wait until then to eat dinner. Or to cook a dinner and have it waiting at 9 or 10 at night? Because if he’s making himself something then cleaning up after himself earlier on in the evening, it doesn’t seem reasonable to expect a hot meal ready and waiting at bedtime.
“I kinda make my boyfriend to text him why I am not invited”
Case Closed in favour of your boyfriend
He wasn’t telling the truth
It's giving me wattpad vibes.
In the event it's real and not an attempt to end up an animated story on YT or tik tok, all of this is weird threatening behavior.
Normal people don't dangle bits of information out there. They have a life and they don't want to spend theirs a supporting character in your life. Someone with legit knowledge of cheating would just send the information to you via technology and move on.
At this point, Wannabe-Fisherman just wants to toy with you. I'd assume they are deranged and they will escalate in violence. So document it and get cameras so you can press charges and get some form of restraining order as it escalates.
Definitely tell her. He could have killed his baby with STI/STD exposure! WTF?! Not saying you have one, but who says you're his only fling?!
Yeah, it’s weird because I know my rational brain knows but it doesn’t seem to care. 🙁
This is not necessarily true. I lived in a big house in Fairfax County VA, very expensive. One roommate was a divorced buddy who was a dentist and another was a new anesthesiologist.
I haven’t slept with her… and won’t be doing it until she is fully into me. I am just checking if she gets better. I am gonna give her some time, if she gets better or not. Or we might be friends forever.