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call me Alice =^..^=, 23 y.o.
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Date: September 22, 2022
AmateurPub
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So she uses passive-aggressive indirect communication basically while you are using direct no tact communication.,
You know what the middle ground is?
Honesty but gracefully asking.
Example:
“Oh I love thyme, but I tend to prefer sage for this recipe. Would you mind switching out one for the other? I greatly appreciate it and thank you!”
You both have got to learn how to communicate and do do effectively with MANNERS and gracefully as well.
Save the no tact honesty for dirty talk in the bedroom.
They’re trying to give you some much needed tough love. You’re too deep in the fog, sometimes we need a kick in the ass to see it.
Given how he talks about how essentially his mom needs to get over the cheating in his previous post he’ll probably turn out just like his father and cheat on his future girlfriend/spouse
It’s a difficult smell.
All you can do is change clothes often. Wash them often.
Hopefully her sensitivity diminishes after a while.
But you might try introducing positive smells into your home. ‘Cleaner’ ones. Try a few different ones.
Maybe lavender or lemongrass or citrus peels. Cinnamon.
You can boil a pot of water and throw in spices and herbs and see what appeals to her
No one can make that decision. Only you know what you can handle and if you want to have this child or not. However, I will say that this relationship is not a good one and I wouldn’t stay in it.
He absolutely should be there for his kids and have set boundaries with his ex. It’s ok for them to do activities for the kids and have a hood co-parenting relationship. However, what he has with her is not co-parenting. Seems to be a continuing relationship. All the while stringing you along. He’s playing both of you while acting the victim. Trying to make you feel guilty for questioning him. The man IS sleeping with both of you.
So, as I said I’d end it and, should you choose to keep the pregnancy, develop a plan for his involvement. But KEEP it to go-parenting. Don’t fall into what he has with his ex. If you choose to end the pregnancy, then just go no contact and block him.
You need to think about what kind of future you want. – Do you want to continue to be played and basically be his side piece while raising a child together? – Do you want to deal with having to raise a child with him and co-parent while having to continue to deal with his ex? – Or do you want to move forward and be free of this toxicity?
Only you can make a decision with what you are ok with doing. He has made it clear you and your future child are not a priority for him. How long will you continue to let him prove it to you?
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
I’ve (25f) been with my bf(26) for a few years now. The first two we were very happy. He helped my mental health and made me feel really safe and understood. I believe I did the same for him, or maybe even more from what he said. However, he never wanted to get kids, get married or even buy a house together in the future. And quite often he’s been very focused either on his hobbies or his career. Last year when I felt quite lonely because he’s going through a busy few months (it will be over soon though) we decided to have an open relationship. I also noticed that we have a lot of differences- he’s introverted and I’m extroverted, we don’t have hobbies in common other than travelling.
Gradually I started to feel more and more distant and finally gathered up courage to break up because I do want a traditional family. It was incredibly painful and I felt like I loved him so much, and didn’t really care for no one else. But it had to be done. Fast forward three days after the breakup my bf says he realised he’s making a huge mistake. That he loves me so much he wants us to be together forever. He can see value in family and imagine us having kids together, playing with them and going on holidays. As soon as he says that, all the pain, the heartbreak and any feelings really disappear. I cannot feel anything.
It’s been a week now and he still says the same stuff. Talking about marriage, engagement rings, spending more time together, basically he wants to make effort and make the relationship better. And I am still numb and feel nothing except for horrible horrible guilt. He says he’ll never meet someone like me again and that he feels so satisfied in our relationship. He also wants to go on more dates and participate more in my hobbies.
And I don’t know why but I can’t feel anything but guilt anymore. Even though when we were breaking up I felt like I loved him more than anyone else in the world.
I also have this feeling that there might be someone better suited for me out there and feel very guilty about that too.
I really really don’t know what to do. I’m extremely confused. Should I let him have a second chance? Or break his heart and move one?
I’ve never felt this awful in my whole life and I feel like everything is out of my control.
Costanza, is that you?
If you don’t stop this now it will get worse when you get Married and even more so if you have children. It will get between you and your future husband.
She probably waited until they were married and he was “stuck” before bringing her true self out.
See what he did here?:
he said that he is asking for my forgiveness to help in his recovery to become a better husband and dad.
He is trying to manipulate you, putting the blame on you using his children and wife to get that forgiveness from you, he hadn't change one bit and you're not responsible of him in any way, so that comment says a lot about him, is like he's saying if you don't forgive him his family will suffer and that's not how it works pal. Keep the NC, protect yourself.
I mean, both of you are kind of doing the same thing. She owes it to him, you made vows… both of you are making allowances for inappropriate behaviour by your husbands based on some sense of duty that they don’t also seem to feel.
I have matching tattoos with two of my best friends:….they can also be with people you get you, your best friends who have been there with you and have helped you climb out of the pits.
Sorry, but the story you shared of her being insensitive is not clear-cut at all. You see each seldomly but then it sounds like you went to take a nap without communicating it appropriately with her.
It sounds like she was confused about your nap and then started crying (presumably feeling ignored).
Maybe I've got the wrong end of the stick here but I think you both need to work on your communication within this relationship.
Thanks for stating the obvious. My post was asking for advice on how to. You should gain self awareness and maybe stop trying to act smart when you arent saying anything with substance.
Why do you think it's a possibility?
Joe Rogan is frequently the entrance of the alt-right pipeline
Seriously, maybe she isn’t far enough removed from her past?
Text the fiancé – “if he’ll cheat with you, he’ll cheat on you.”
See if she still wants you there
You were in love with who he PRETENDED to be.
It’s been barely a year. You’ll feel so much more free once you get OUTTA THERE.
Rally support from family and friends, make a safe exit plan, and
call the abuse hotline 1.800.799.7233
text “Start” to 88788
or visit the website thehotline.org
You gotta get out of there, honey!
also do all you can to avoid getting pregnant by him