Trust is earned, but trusting someone is sometimes a choice.
My boyfriend is very well travelled. He’s been to 4 continents, I don’t even know how many countries, and has dated and hooked up with people in basically all of them because he was single. He’s spent literal years of his life abroad and it’s the thing he loves doing the most. He loves learning and meeting new people and seeing other cultures.
Last year he started talking about going to Mexico for the third time (he loves it there. Food, culture, ruins, nature. All of it is amazing) for ~6 months to learn Spanish.
I had a choice in that moment. This man who I have spent years with, who has never been anything but trustworthy, who loves me and has made me feel so secure wants to do something he loves. I could either distrust him and turn it into a negative experience for that reason, or trust him, be happy for him and still be sad that he’s going to be gone.
I chose to trust him. He’s in Mexico now. We talk on the phone every day that he has service. I’m meeting him there in a month and I can’t wait to share this experience with him.
But it’s a choice I have to make daily. I have to trust him for my own sanity and so he can do what he loves.
Just because your partner did something previously when he was single doesn’t mean he’ll do it again. Especially if he’s an otherwise good partner. Let him have his boys trip and if something happens, break up. You should be with someone you can trust to be away from you for a long period of time.
Your absolutely right ! I’ve been overlooking the big things in hope of small adjustments and that just doesn’t make sense . Working on a plan to move forward now ! Hoping everything goes good
You're dating an inconsiderate asshole, and he also huffs and puffs and continues the pattern when called on it.
Gurl, you have a very rude roommate on your hands.
Trust is earned, but trusting someone is sometimes a choice.
My boyfriend is very well travelled. He’s been to 4 continents, I don’t even know how many countries, and has dated and hooked up with people in basically all of them because he was single. He’s spent literal years of his life abroad and it’s the thing he loves doing the most. He loves learning and meeting new people and seeing other cultures.
Last year he started talking about going to Mexico for the third time (he loves it there. Food, culture, ruins, nature. All of it is amazing) for ~6 months to learn Spanish.
I had a choice in that moment. This man who I have spent years with, who has never been anything but trustworthy, who loves me and has made me feel so secure wants to do something he loves. I could either distrust him and turn it into a negative experience for that reason, or trust him, be happy for him and still be sad that he’s going to be gone.
I chose to trust him. He’s in Mexico now. We talk on the phone every day that he has service. I’m meeting him there in a month and I can’t wait to share this experience with him.
But it’s a choice I have to make daily. I have to trust him for my own sanity and so he can do what he loves.
Just because your partner did something previously when he was single doesn’t mean he’ll do it again. Especially if he’s an otherwise good partner. Let him have his boys trip and if something happens, break up. You should be with someone you can trust to be away from you for a long period of time.
Don’t apologize, just explaining what that means. But please listen to the other comments that this isn’t something you should continue.
The argument would be that the OP was not in any danger and therefore it was not self defense.
I’m not saying I agree, just that would be an argument.
Your absolutely right ! I’ve been overlooking the big things in hope of small adjustments and that just doesn’t make sense . Working on a plan to move forward now ! Hoping everything goes good
I dont think therapy would change the kind of men i surround myself with