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Room for online sex video chat Busty_Redhead
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Languages: en
Birth Date: 2001-08-15
Body Type: bodyTypeCurvy
Ethnicity: ethnicityWhite
Hair color: hairColorRed
Eyes color: eyeColorBlue
Subculture: subcultureStudent
Date: November 7, 2022
Look up narcissistic abuse. It sounds like you were a victim of it. Love bombing, enmeshing and then abuse. Fortunately he left before the abuse, but it would have started. He's likely not leaving town, he's just done with. the relationship. He's not breaking up with you, you were never there for him. He's breaking up with himself, because narcs hate themselves, more than they are capable of loving anyone.
What you do is take your time to get over him. Then when someone jumps into a relationship too quickly run!
I think varies from person to person.
I feel the same way that your husband does. And I have friends (men, women, enby) that feel the same.
Other people say they do not. Or even say they only feel attraction for their partner.
As someone who feels the same way as your husband, if he shared this with you he was being very open and vunerable. I have never told my wife I feel this way.
Your daughter is four, that postpartum stage is lonnnng gone, you have regular anxiety that needs to be addressed.
Your obsession with your parents approval explains a lot about why they don’t approve of you. Go live your life and stop asking him to like you and you may find that they like you a lot more.
what a nice person you are. thank you.
I understand that, I was just answering your question.
????
Excuse me, sir. She's cheated on you three times already and you're still dating her? Fucking why? The only toxic trait in you I see is that you don't know when to call it quits.
Just ask him. Have a talk.
Exactly.
A similar thing happened to one of my old bosses in grad school. Just gave the perfunctory, kind, complimentary speech, and all was fine. Basically handing you a W if you would like to continue to be this persons friend
PLZZZ- why the fuck are people getting married after TWO YEARS-
You do know that he is abusing you, right? It's like literally a matter of time before he stops punching walls and starts punching you. I am genuinely afraid for you. You need to stick to this ultimatum. Please please please.
You’ve been manipulated very badly if him committing SA against you is being compared to dating during separation. This is all his fault and you need to get away
So what's worse: “how many people have you slept with?” or “you wanna take a trip to the STD clinic with me and test each other?
RUN my friend
But what are you doing to support yourself? It kinda sounds like he's spending so much to help support both you and him in a city you can't afford
You will get over this believe me.You won't want to hear this but to be honest you are better off without him.It proves he's cheated on you & worse sleeping around with someone else. When I was younger my Mum always said there are plenty fish in the sea except when you are young & you have your eye on someone & fall in love with them it does break your heart.There are lots of people who have gone through the same thing.I have no sympathy for this guy.You deserve someone much better.Brush yourself down start all over again because you are still young enough & don't talk about feeling suicidal.No man is worth throwing your life away.There is a purpose why this has happened so let him go.
Op i hate to jump to this conclusion, but i think hes cheating on you with her.
Thanks for the suggestions, It's my first go at it but yeah definitely needs cutting down first and foremost
For real man there is no elaboration on what exactly the issue is with their sex life and people are still saying break up with him ?
So I had a similar problem. My husband is super mild mannered and gentle when it comes to sex. We've been together almost 11 years and just in the last year has he started getting more aggressive with me in the bedroom. While our sex life wasn't bad it wasn't super fulfilling. I think he had to kinda come into his own comfort with it. Once he was comfortable it was a game changer.
Report her? Charge her? She deserves to be held accountable for animal abuse. Animal abusers rarely get more than a slap on the wrist (?) but better than nothing. Also make it known your parents knew about the abuse but did nothing to stop it.
Without informing the proper authorities she's just getting away with ABUSING your dog. Poor thing ?
You're right, it doesn't have to ve at a club, but there's no reason why it can't be. People can go to clubs to have fun, there's not anything wrong with that. Plenty of people like going to bars and clubs without wanting to be approached.
So I must have come across this user before, then :/
So why get intimate at all if you know she wants more and you don’t and you don’t even find her attractive? Just so you can brag about taking someone’s virginity? That was an asshole move. Leave that woman alone.
Oh no what will he feel
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He wants to have sex with you, and I feel like he may push boundaries to get you to agree. He doesn’t want you to save chats so there’s no record of him hinting at sexual behaviour. I’d also go out on a limb and say he has a girlfriend because he’s using snap and says not to save the chats.
You don't have any obligation to buy the baby a gift. Your sister made it clear she doesn't want you involved with her baby. Your Mom and sister should understand that.
Personally, I would buy a small ($10-$20) present, wrap it and tag it “Merry Christmas (niece)”, have your mom give it to your sister and say “Hey OP left this here for (niece). She said Merry Christmas!”
I know it doesn't feel like it now, but you would be happy you did it. Sometimes being the bigger person feels good.
Sounds like your GF has made your trauma all about her. Of course she would have hoped you told her earlier but she must not understand how childhood sexual assault (especially by a parent) inhibits trust and affects every part of a person. Has she done any reading or counseling on how to help you and in turn herself? It makes sense that you turning away from sex has taken a toll on her ego and self-esteem but to call that you “not respecting” her body is a disingenuous leap.
I’m sorry your father is a POS and did that to you. You are not your trauma. You deserve a partner that will walk this recovery path with you. Maybe this gf is the one or maybe not.
The hike sounds amazing. Hope you carry all you learned about yourself with you forever.
Tell him intelligence is genetic too so if your kid is smart it obviously isn’t his.
Advice? What do you need advice about?
Get rest of you things and block him after that.
If you are really considering going back to him dunno what to tell you other than it's going to be the stupidest thing you've done.
You married a loser. Next time, pick more wisely.
She doesn't sound ready for the sort of relationship you want. Imo asking 'can I kiss you?' every time sounds like the sort of relationship people have in their early teens. Not once you're 18/19
People need to stop blaming this on your gf's age…. srsly, she's manipulative af, and clearly not a good partner.
In your shoes, I'd walk away. Why would you put up with this behaviour any longer? She clearly doesn't respect you, she doesn't trust you.
I'm not allowed to message or keep in touch with female freinds of mine. At uni i made a lot of friends. Since its a women driven field, there are more women than men in my classes. (16 women and 2 men me inculded) so naturally most of the people i meet during my studies are women. As i study abroad, i depend on those people to have a social live but it bothers her a lot that those are female and she dont weant me to stay in touch with them or message them. While i only message them for uni related stuff mostly, she tells me she dont like me texting them and i have no business staying in touch with people i meet at uni because “those people wont be in your life as soon as your done studing so you dont need to be friends with them”, while she keeps in touch with 3 guys she met at uni. But “its not the same, i dont want to fck them, the girls in your school probably just want to fck you”
Also, I hope you realise that she's most likely projecting.
Because she’s being manipulative and using you.
Yeah I agree. We have spoken a lot and from what we can gather is that it comes from his own insecurity as this was genuinely the first random girl who has ever shown him attention. Thanks for the suggestion will be checking it out
Yes you are right he is just being kind! I could feel it and know in how he reacts but have just went with it because it’s easier. Cowards way out!
And yes the sooner I tell him the better. I think I really like him now and in a very messed up way at the back of my mind I’m thinking if I wait and he gets to know me more then he won’t mind as much when I tell him. Which does not make any sense and in actual fact it will be worse. And I really don’t want to see the pity in his eyes ah!
And no don’t worry you’re not harsh. It’s appreciated. I have applied for nursing schools and have now got interviews/ assessments for them all so I am feeling productive and positive. I have always had A’s at high school and college so my transcripts (albeit without honours :/) read well and I have the caring experience! So fingers crossed! And in a weird way I think meeting this guy was the push I needed as I kind of feel/felt like I could see a future/happiness for myself and have some sort of semblance of a normal functioning life so even if he doesn’t want to be with me maybe that is why I met him!! I’m trying to be positive anyway haha!
Ahhh okay. I don’t know if this is a dumb suggestion, but have you tried initiating sex and giving him head? Doing what he’s into?
The best advice I can give is this..
Do not treat her like you have been together 8 years.
Instead, treat her like you just picked her up from a bar a few weeks ago.
Treat her like you want to start a new relationship.
This means, full effort. Take her on dates, and make her feel like you are trying to win her over for the first time.
Go out of your way to make her feel special.
Really think about why you love this person.
Don’t force sex, and stop being sexual for a while, do not masterbait for a while. Just let that sexual tension build up. That way when it does end up getting sexual you are ready to go.
You need to start over if things are not going well. Date her again.
you're right. after time of feeling like the worst person and the reason of breakup, I realized how toxic he actually was. how he would tell me stuff that would make me feel I'm the problem, my family is the problem, I'm too sensitive, I don't know how life is like. and I just realized in this situation he just did the same – wanted to make me feel worse, toxic or like I had wrong patterns/views
thank you for your opinion!
I think she emotionally cheated on me with her ex but she claims she didn't. I'll never know
Ok wow. Just so I have this right, you are sui-dal and slowly starving yourself to do it? And you want your parents to be okay with that? Why should they be okay with their child k-ing themselves in front of them?
Please get some help, get a job, and stop using the R word. This post makes you sound like a brat.
Your wife is either browbeating you through these constant accusations (which themselves may qualify as abuse depending on the emotional turmoil they are putting you through) or is projecting her own situation onto you. That's what this mostly says to me.
Either way, the relationship needs a lot of work. I don't know if therapy is what is needed, or a divorce; I can't say. But this situation is untenable.
You definitely had daddy issues if you accepted an old, abusive man that uses you like this. Learn from this mistake that you don’t deserve this and never accept this behavior ever again from any man.
You are truly a disgusting human being. I hope she figures you out ASAP so she can leave your sorry ass. That way she can find someone who actually loves her for her and not how she looks. I also hope when the day comes and she does see the true measure of your character that everyone else does also and wants nothing to do with you. Karmaa bitch and she’ll get you.
He doesn't get to have any kind of claim over someone or expect others no to hit on someone because he likes them. But, you've chosen a relationship with this girl over your friend. When you could have just not gone out with her because you knew how he felt. You have known him for 5 years yet threw the friendship away for a woman you barely know. If i knew my friend was interested in someone, no matter how long they've liked them, I wouldn't pursue anything out of respect for my friendship.
In my experience it is EXACTLY the same type of guys who make both ”NOT ALL MEN” and ”but that’s just how all men talk/what all men do” statements.
You can't save your relationship. Not if he doesn't want that too. If you want that then go with one more message. Keep it short, factual and as unemotional as possible. Tell him what you want, then say that you're going to give him time and space to decide what he wants and ask him to let you know when he has done so. Then LEAVE HIM ALONE.
This no contact time is crucial for you more than him You've very carefully avoided saying what this argument was about but if it was physical then once you've had a clear headspace for some time you might realise that what you actually want to save is the picture perfect image of happiness your friends loved so much, not the reality that lay behind it. And you may choose not to have him back. I hope so, for your sake.
Goddamn, have some self respect and leave his crusty ass. He's a damn grown man. He's not going to change and he doesn't care because he got a woman to settle for his gross ass.
Seven years. Seven damn years.
Well obviously you pack up his belongings and give them to him bext time he complains about your furry family. Who needs that level of negativity in their lives.
I was waiting for you to get to me ha. Jokes aside, I would in the proper context. To back up, I don't even want to “argue” with you here, because you're logically correct, which is why I hate responding to posts like these.
So in context, we're talking about a close friend of OP. While on a night out, her friend kissed her. Now, let's just stop there. OP said she's kissed men and women. Is this referring to a context of happening on random nights on the dance floor? If so, I could again try to see her friend's perspective in that moment in like “hey, she makes out with friends while having fun, let's give it a shot.” If not, then it's irrelevant that OP has kissed men and women.
But I said to stop there, because I want to just focus on the initial kiss. The initial kiss on its own can be defined as sexual assault. The question you're asking me, guy or not, is about after OP said no. I'm not even try to justify my argument here. I just think you should call that out as well. The initial act was no less unacceptable than after being told no. Although I don't want to be obtuse here and act like there's not a difference. There is. I digress.
Separately, while it's difficult to properly put this into words, more situations exist where female friends randomly make out in bar/club settings with it meaning absolutely nothing sexually outside of that. This generally isn't happening between male and female close friends, and logically never between straight male friends. It's not me justifying the specific situation at hand here, but I think you'd be dishonest not to acknowledge that reality. But once again, I of course have to acknowledge that that's generally (I hope) happening between two consenting adults. I think the difference I'm pointing out here is intent; her friend's objective was to kiss on the dance floor. I don't see a guy friend having that objective as an end game, but again, I agree with you that it doesn't make it ok at all. However, that's why I think the situation can be fixed.
I also want to be crystal clear with you that I'm not coming at this from a perspective of a double standard. If a random girl kissed her, I'd be jumping at this right there with you. If a random girl kissed a guy, I'd be there with you. If a girl friend kissed a guy, I'd be there with you. My only hang up here is that the context here is they're two close friends. It's still not OK, and I agree with you. Not the first time, and certainly not after OP said no. But I do think this is something where boundaries can be firmly established while sober and their friendship can go on perfectly fine. But then if it happened again, I'd be the first person on here telling OP to cut her out of her life at minimum, if not to escalate it.
Lol not the same thing. Driving a woman home 3 nights a week out of your way is not the same as stopping at a red light.
The period 17-27 is full of adventure, discovering new things, learning how to be an adult, learning about relationships and sex, learning about your career and who you want to be.
It’s a joy to experience that with someone who is going through it with you – not someone who has (presumably) already learned it all.
When you’re with someone who is also learning who they are, then you give each other freedom to learn. Someone already grown had the affect of unintentionally moulding you .
That’s not what mandated reporting means or what it covers?? If you tell your therapist you tried drugs, they don’t call the cops on you. If you’ve been harassing someone, they don’t call the cops on you.
It varies by country but generally, outside of child abuse, a therapist will only report things to the police if you’re a danger to yourself or others. Like if you’re homicidal or actively suicidal.
Who were these people? If they were boyfriends, how long had they been dating?
Ah your boyfriend is gonna become a Leonardo DiCaprio.
He will probably be one of those guys in their 30s and 40s who only go after early twenty year olds or younger
Honestly, it sounds like your trust is not worth having.
It's not an invasion of her privacy. Her posts are public and you recognized her profile. She's deflecting from the real issue that she was looking to cheat.
Exactly! Throughout the whole post, OP doesn’t even express any concern for her friend. She only talks about how being friends again will help her stop feeling bad about what she did.
Are you saying it is healthy to think your boyfriend is cheating on you with no evidence ?
Or that him changing his appearance is just to turn you off him?
Are those healthy normal thoughts ?
What are you George Costanza?
Depon each individual relationship but I say it's not.
I’m so sorry. You sound like a wonderful loving partner to her and person in general. You cannot change the path someone else wants to take or the feelings they need to work through. As heartbreaking as it is, when you are ready you will have to let go. Don’t let this experience ruin your goodness. Hold your head high because it sounds like you would be such a wonderful partner to someone else in the future.
Sometimes people are with us for a season or a short while as we go through certain life phases. Not everyone is meant to be forever. Show her kindness and respect her boundaries as she figures out herself, and take this opportunity to value and learn about yourself. I’m very sorry and hope for peace and strength for you.
It seems like an overreaction to question your entire relationship over what amounts to a scheduling conflict that can be pretty easily resolved by having a conversation.
Not the same, but yes basically the same situation except my husband and I have been married for 10 years and together even longer and already have a child.
None of this is normal behavior. Do not get married to each other. I’m usually for therapy and working things out but you both sound toxic for each other. Yelling and throwing things and grabbing each other like this is not what people in healthy communicative relationship do. Don’t get stuck in the “sunk cost fallacy” by spending more time in a relationship that doesn’t work. You’re only 25 and will get over it.
While all relationships take effort, good relationships are easy and bad relationships are nude.
This isn’t okay. It’s time to get a divorce. He’s abusive. If you do stay, don’t even consider having children. You can’t bring kids into an abusive marriage. Contact an attorney.
We're all just a little bit different people today than yesterday, and very different people than we were a year and a half ago. Maybe year and a half ago you really thought you could get an abortion. But you aren't year and a half ago you, you're today you. And if you don't want an abortion, you shouldn't get one.
I think it's fairly obvious that if you get an abortion, your relationship will be over. You will never forgive him. Will he get on board with being a dad? Can't say. But your options seem to be to be a single parent, single post-abortion, or spend time growing to resent him post-abortion until it's clear all love is lost. If he didn't want to ever be a parent, he should have had a vasectomy. He knew this could happen. You aren't doing this to him, he made a choice to participate in this being a potential future for himself.
Do what you want to do. Fuck his opinion.
Sounds like you're not a good match for each other. There doesn't have to be some big reason for you to break up, if you're not happy then leave.
Tbh I wouldn’t even want to know. Just call up a lawyer and start the divorce process. You will only be heartbroken once she tells you the truth
>I just feel weird for being a 22 year old guy on there when i know most guys on there are in their 40s-50s.
Get therapy for your lack of confidence and for your “worry” and feeling “weird”.
Girl. That ain’t your friend!
I spent some time on this and I’m happy with the outcome.
First, I think you are correct, I believe my husband mentioned how much money we have in savings and that’s what triggered it. His dad has never asked to borrow money from us before, so he obviously knew. I did ask him and he said he never mentioned how much money was in the account, but did mention finally having financial stability. According to my husband, he also told FIL that he had to ask me first, because the account and contents were mine and in my name.
I did reach out to my FIL and I let him know that I was extremely upset, that he had caused upset in my marriage, and that it wouldn’t happen again. I have a really difficult time with confrontation, so I decided to block him immediately after sending it. My husband apologized profusely, he acknowledged the push back was unacceptable, and agreed to not discuss our finances with another person again. He stated his parents are no longer comfortable flying down to spend time with us this year, and we both agreed the space was necessary.
So you’d let her live in that house for free even once she gets a job? I assume no. So if while she’s working you make her pay half the mortgage, what advantage does she get from that? Her name isn’t on the deed so she would be basically paying rent to you, you get all the equity and benefits of the house and she gets nothing. Usually couples who have been together a long time get married and buy a house together, so both of their names will be on the deed. You’ve been with her over two years and don’t want to marry her or buy a house with her. That’s why she (and other commenters) are saying you aren’t serious about the relationship, you’re only thinking about yourself and how this benefits you. And you don’t do that when you’re in a long term relationship.
You’re the one bringing culture into it when it hasn’t been referenced once.???
yes, you don't understand, call me in private and I'll explain
Yeah, I think that got the point across. You were empathetic toward her plight, yet also looking out for your best interests.
He's already proven to you that he's a untrustworthy, and you have zero proof that the pictures you were presented with were all out even the most extreme photos taken. There is literally nothing you can do to get those photos back. This isn't the 1990's. He's almost certainly got backups live and in other various places. Get a copy of the agreement she signed. ASAP. Read it carefully. Take it to a lawyer. Have her read it carefully. Then prepare yourself for whatever your “friend” is going to put you through.
bc i can’t trust the girl man, like i have to be around her knowing that that happened? and smile and be alright with it. Idk how to do that man.
Thank you for saying this. I hate hate hate to see the “drunk words are sober thoughts” phrase applied unilaterally because it’s simply not true.
Yeah I think that’s been my undoing is apologizing for stuff like this in the past
SHE cares. It doesn't matter what he wants when it comes to HER body.
So she has a drinking problem?