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BuckNaked, 34 y.o.
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Date: November 24, 2022
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You'll never have an honest relationship bc neither of you are honest people (at least in the context of relationships).
Interesting that you'd stay with her if she fucked a dude and didn't get pregnant. But, if she did get pregnant by him then you're out. You don't care about this girl.
But based on how shit you are in relationships, you should consider staying with her since she's up your alley morality.
“I understand her anger” yes and no… she has been hurt before but *NOT* by you. You shouldn't be the one punished for the misgivings of others.
“is it worth it” sounds pretty toxic. You're living in the shadow of her trauma and if that isn't fixed? You'll never leave that shadow.
If you've done nothing wrong – and helping a friend isn't wrong – then there's nothing to fix. This side of putting a camera in your car and a gps tracker in your dong? what are you going to do to get trust from someone who thinks dropping a friend off is you having sex in a car?
Can I give you some unsollicited dating advice, that might or might not apply to you?
If you have experience with abuse (from past relationships and/or parents) you might find people that “feel like home” or “feel familiar” that you're immediately drawn to.
Be wary of that feeling and those people.
This is how people jump from one abusive relationship to another.
If you have subconciously internalized that abuse feels like love, you'll end up with people who have a similar concept of love=abuse. When abuse feels familiar, familiar isn't a good indicator when dating.
???”he’s giving it serious thought?” ? If a man wants to meet a woman he makes plans to meet her. In the mean time, you’re playing out a fantasy relationship in your head that doesn’t exist with a person you don’t actually know. This currently is not a relationship. It won’t be anything but a fantasy until you meet, get to know each other and discover if there is actually chemistry, shared dreams and common goals. Until you do meet, I would suggest that for your own mental health, you close your laptop, stop living in your head and get on with your life. Otherwise you’re going to be writing this same post 5 years from now wondering where the years have gone and lamenting that you have still not met him (or anyone else) in real life.
No. Be a decent human being and tell it to her straight. How you are feeling, why you have decided this is the best course of action, and then move on.
Never trust someone who says “trust me”.