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Brad, 26 y.o.
Location: United States
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Date: November 14, 2022
Well on your neighbors’ part it was a setup. He conveniently is showering upstairs while you are there. The wife makes a rather mediocre pass-by-proxy. Others posts here talk about a longer term grooming period for swinging stuff 101.
Your husband should be comforting you, and maybe laughing with you about the interaction, and thinking about the social ramifications. What’s wrong with him?
Sex became way less frequent right after you got married? Yep, classic case of her using sex to tie you down. Not that you are, she can give up the act.
Dude, she used you and now you are fucked but not in the good way. You can’t ask or pressure her for sex because that’s abuse and rape. You can get a divorce and if you are lucky, you’ll leave with what you came in with. So you either need to accept that you’ll never have a sex life where she actually is into it, or you need to get that divorce and find someone who enjoys sex with you.
Wow these comments are JUDGY and harsh. Ok so point one; everyone but you was drunk, stoned and more out of their minds. You said your sister looks a lot like you which fairly, could add to some confusion. And you said they were both fully dressed and only kissing, which your husband says he doesn’t remember.
Here’s my questions for you to ask yourself:
1) Is this (drinking/drugs) common behavior and will it be a continued problem?
2) Have you any reason to suspect hubby and sis have/would be shady otherwise?
3) In no way your fault but have you considered that pregnancy (not sure how far along you are) and hormones might be an added factor to how this is affecting you? (Just a consideration)
My take on things:
Honestly, I know alcohol alone can cause people to do DUMB things they wouldn’t normally do and I myself have blacked out a couple of times in my 40 years of life. Add drugs, even just weed, to that and it can be a detrimental combo depending on the person/people involved. So unless the drinking/drugs are commonplace with hubby (possibly a red flag itself depending on how common) or if hubs and sis have been inappropriate in the past or both; this might be a one-off and not worth ending the marriage over? I would never promote tolerance of cheating but this sounds like it could even be something to laugh at later? Even if not, talk it out. You did make vows and are having a kid by him soon. He’ll be around (likely) for the next 18 years one way or another.
Death is very different than a breakup.
If this was a story about a dude crying over his ex, people would be saying he's not over her, and he's not ready for a relationship.
Yet instead there are comments up to and including comparisons to a partner who died – in order to justify OP's gf crying over another guy who's moved on